Trying to decide on a Twitter desktop application

I think it's time for a post on something unrelated to my family!

I have been doing some research on Twitter desktop applications to try to determine which one I want to use. It's got to be free, easy to use and intuitive.

I have tried Tweetdeck and while it seems okay, the dark default background is not really usable for me - I just don't like it. And while you can change the layout to light, it seems a bit cumbersome and clunky. It's not bad. I just want to check out other applications before I make a decision about which one I use.

I am going to test out Hootsuite - that has had very good reviews from a lot of people. I think, from reading about it, that it has a free (and liter application) and one with more features, but which is charged a monthly fee, obviously aimed at businesses with multiple users who need it.

I am also going to test out Seesmic - don't know much about it other than it is a competitor to Tweetdeck with different features.

And lastly, I will also test out Twhirl, which apparently was purchased by Seesmic and which has a more Twitter-like interface, which I may like better.

Will post again after I have tested them all and decide which one I am going to use.

I am starting to feel sorry for LayZ boy

A Cash Cow on the front of Hotel Kaiserworth
in Goslar, Harz, Lower Saxony, Germany

My brother, LayZ boy deserves everyone's pity actually.

He has no life. No life at all. He doesn't work, has no interest in working. He has no friends other than two who have mental deficiencies/handicaps of some sort and are as equally uneducated as him, plus one other friend who, while is not mentally handicapped, is even more ignorant than LayZ boy is. All three of his "friends" are alcoholics.

Then, we have the fact that LayZ boy's wife dumped him as unceremoniously as she did, throwing his belongings into rubbish bins outside, calling his mother to "come and get your son, I don't want him any more". Lovely woman that she is not, LayZ boy's soon-to-be ex-wife. But then again, would a normal, decent, sweet and intelligent woman be able to tolerate someone like LayZ boy? Highly unlikely.

I think LayZ boy is starting to realise his ex has moved on (and probably had even before she kicked him out) and has started playing all these love songs really loudly, to try to ameliorate his bad feelings about being dumped the way he was dumped. Poor bastard. He was so blind, he never realised she took him for all he was worth and now he has nothing.

LayZ boy got an insurance payout about two years ago and I predicted to my parents that she would be dumping him soon after that, but in the meantime, spend and take his money. He was foolish enough to deposit his money into her bank account, not a joint account, but one just in her own name, so in effect he gave away his money to her. What an idiot! I bet he's now regretting it. But then again, given the fact that LayZ boy cant articulate or even acknowledge his feelings he may be trying to avoid thinking about it and that may be why he's playing the love songs so loudly lately!

There is a moth and silverfish problem in this house

I am back to chasing moths in the pantry - it seems that because I am the only one who does it, the only one who tries to get rid of these moths when I see them, that the others leave the pantry door wide open for hours at a time, this problem is not going away any time soon.

I cleaned most of the pantry and got rid of most of the moth eggs/larvae a few weeks ago (for the 2nd or 3rd time this year, but this time I was more ruthless about throwing away more items, just in case they were infested) and that seemed to have gotten a good result, because there were no larvae, worms or moths around for a bit, but obviously I didn't do the whole job properly, because they have been slowly coming back. Ugh! I know part of the issue is that my mother didn't wash the big bowls she had in there, that I asked her to wash. I thought that was only fair, since I was cleaning the whole pantry, that she should do something! But she didn't do it. And I didn't do anything about it either, so that must have been a source for the larvae/eggs.

Since I have stored most of my items in glass jars with air-tight lids in the pantry and some other food stuff I have stored in the fridge, I don't have to worry about the moths getting into them. But I still have a few food items in packets in the pantry and if the moths have come back again, it means I had better check them all later today and start throwing away anything that seems infected and package those which seem unaffected into air-tight glass jars. I will probably keep on storing things in the fridge.

Of course my parents complain bitterly about me storing my food in the refrigerator, but if they were more diligent about the moths, there would be no need. They can have their food infested with moths, but I would rather eat food that has no such infestation.

The other problem here is the silverfish. They are constantly around. There are so many of them here. I have cleaned out cupboards (my own and in the rest of the house), many times to get rid of their infestation, but my mother wont clean out her cupboards or let me do it, because she doesn't want to know about it, even though it is a real problem here, she prefers to ignore it. And in doing so, the problem keeps getting worse, because those silverfish continue to breed and cause infestation everywhere.  I constantly see them in the bathroom and toilet especially, but also on the floors all around the house.

When I have lived elsewhere, even though I brought my things from this house, I never had any type of silverfish or moth infestations. And why is that? Because when I saw the first moth or silverfish (because obviously their eggs/larvae must have been in my stuff), I got rid of them straight away. And with that, it prevented them from reproducing and causing an infestation. Simple really.

That is why I call this the "insect house", because really it is!

The issue with my mother is that she prefers to ignore anything she doesn't like, so that causes the problem to get worse, of course. She wont confront it, to deal with it and get rid of it. She's rather like that in all areas of her life. Her son being the most pertinent and obvious example of her being totally "blind" and not viewing reality.

The apartments I saw today were horrible

The first place I inspected, was so smelly (of some cheap, nasty cleaning products), it was completely over-run by boxes, furniture and the person who was living there didn't answer the door, she was pretending she wasn't home, but when her baby started crying, everyone heard it cry and she came out briefly. She opened the bedroom door while holding the crying baby swathed in a blanket in her arms, nodded her head at me and closed the door again.

The kitchen was so over-run with everything these people owned and was so messy too. The apartment was tiny, so no wonder it was so cheap. It was old, the fittings were old and there was nothing there that had any merit for me. I had to hold the cuff of my jacket (lucky it was fluffy) over my mouth, because between the strong smell of the apartment and the real estate agent's perfume, I was getting knocked out by the overpowering smell. Needless to say, I didn't stay there longer than maybe 20-30 seconds, at the most. Anther guy who came in at the same time as me, was equally unimpressed.

The next place, I had misgivings even before I went there and I was early. I debated on whether I should just forget about it as it looked really dodgy, old and ugly from the outside and there were really horrible flats just next to these ones.  I decided to stay, but I shouldn't have.

When the time came to view it, there was a girl waiting too, a student who asked me if I was waiting for the same apartment. She told me that somewhere near the vicinity of the apartment there was a horrible smell.

The real estate agent lead us up these dingy, concrete stairs to the first floor and the student and I just looked at each, like we knew it was going to be ugly and old inside.We were right. It was small, dingy, carpet was so old, as were the built-in cupboards. It was also smelly, with some strong, cheap perfumed cleaning chemical smell. The only nice thing about it was the kitchen, which was new-ish.

Again, I didn't stay longer than about 20-30 seconds and when I left, so did the student girl too. We both commented how old and smelly it was, so I am not the only one who cant tolerate such strongly perfumed noxious smells. While it makes me ill, it bothers others also and they certainly don't want to be around it.

That's two out of two apartments that were crap. I have more to see on Saturday.

The volatile emotions and behaviour of my family

Yesterday morning, my mother went ballistic at me, just after I woke up. What a nice way to be woken up? Someone yelling at you!

She was upset that I woke up late. She couldn't fathom the fact that I was sick the day before from her son using such strongly perfumed bathroom products (and in a girly-type smell) which produced an asthma-like cough in me, as well as a number of allergic symptoms, which she was witness to.

Today, she tells me that there is nothing wrong with me, that it's "all in your head". That is just infuriating. She really talks in such a ridiculous way sometimes.

Then she began to tell me that the things she and my step-father bought for me when I moved into my own place several years ago (even though I told her she didn't need to) was now a "loan" and they decided that they wanted them back. And that I had "nothing", which she knows is untrue. But again, just aimed to infuriate and upset me, because apparently she was upset and wanted to take it out on me, as she thinks she can.

I didn't stay there long, I left within about 15 minutes of this constant yelling at me, telling me I had to leave because they wanted to vacuum and as I cant be around vacuum cleaners due to my severe allergies (multiple chemical sensitivities and dust mite allergy, among allergies to other substances). Both my mother and step-father hate it that I have allergies because it means I can no longer be their slave and clean everything for them any more!

I stayed away for about six hours and when I came back, my mother's mood was normal. She told me that I could have the soup she made if I wanted to. I told her I had bought some prawns and was going to cook them for dinner.

Then, when I was in the kitchen/family room, my mother asked me if I could close the clasp on her chain. I asked her why didn't she ask her husband or her son and not the person (me) who she was bagging out terribly this morning. So she just laughed about that and cajoled me into doing it. Then she wanted to give me a kiss thanks. I told her to leave me alone, I didn't need a kiss on the cheek from her.

This constant variation in behaviour drives me crazy. I just don't know what to expect from them. They fly off the handle at the most innocuous things, yet then when they want something, they are so nice to me. Such users! They are just too volatile in their behaviour and I can never predict how they are going to behave from one minute to the next, so I stay away from them mostly, to try to prevent getting abused or attacked.

They simply have no ability to control their emotions or behave like normal people.

And today, again shows me that they are the problem, not me. My behaviour remains fairly constant, but it's theirs that is completely volatile and without any sense whatsoever!  What a family!

Feeling a bit better after a nice, long sleep

Last night, I slept for about 10 hours, so obviously I needed the sleep to allow my body enough time to repair the damage that the allergic reaction I had yesterday caused.

I didn't cough so much today. The cough is still there and my lungs are still healing from that violent coughing attack I had yesterday because of LayZ boy's decided lack of consideration and showering himself in highly perfumed (and with girly-smelling perfume too) bathroom products, with the express purpose to make me ill.

Well he achieved his nefarious purpose, so I guess he was happy. And of course nothing happened, no consequences, just him and his mother lying by telling me it was his shaving cream and that he had to use it, as if he had not other options. Just more lies from the lying duo.

I called up about those rental properties and the one I thought would be good, as it was the cheapest, was gone, but I have the information about the viewing times for the other properties which are all in the next few days, starting with some tomorrow, that I shall view.

This family I have, not the kind of family that anyone would ever want to have. They are just so deluded to think I want to have any kind of relationship with them when I find my own place. I don't. I have wiped all their phone numbers from my phone and don't intend to contact them. I know my mother will try to contact me because she needs to feel that she isn't the bitch that she is and if I take her call, that will make her feel better about herself and her shitty behaviour and support of the idiot LayZ boy, but I wont give her that pleasure!

I cant wait to get out of this hell hole of a situation. I need to be away from this hypocrisy, abuse and violence so I can start to heal and live my better life!

I have to find alternative accommodation immediately

Yesterday has shown me how flagrantly my brother LayZ boy defies anything anyone says to him and chooses to do things to make me ill. It has really shown me just how selfish and self-centre he is and how little regard he has for anyone else but himself. It also really cemented the idea that he is a mentally sick person, because only someone who was sick in the head would take pleasure out of hurting other people, especially family members. And it's shown me just how deluded his mother is and how far she is willing to go to protect him and sacrifice me, on all levels.

He has been told so many times that I have multiple chemical sensitivities and needs to use the soaps/shampoo/condition the rest of the family uses. These are expensive, organic and natural products which do not make me react, as they do not contain the synthetic perfumes and other chemicals that the regular products contain. But LayZ boy uses more perfumed products on purpose because he wants to make me ill, the ass wipe that he is. He is not a normal person.

So yesterday I realise that I cannot stay here any more. I have to leave as soon as possible. I cant be with these people any more. The sooner I sever all ties and stop speaking to them, the sooner they will realise how much the abusive shit they have been doing has hurt me.

I have told them that I wont be calling them after I leave here, no matter what. I don't want to have anything to do with them for a very long time, if ever. As far as I am concerned, I do not have any close relatives here and I don't want to associate with them.

Today I am calling up to see properties available for rent.

Even though I cant afford it, I cant afford to wait here and be in hell in the interim, while that accommodation agency finds a place, when there is a housing shortage and even though I am near the top of their list, I don't hold that much hope that I will get anything any time soon and certainly not for many months. I cannot live in this house, in this situation with these people for that long. I wont survive it. I need to move out within the next two weeks or sooner.

I am so sick and so congested

Last night when I was exposed to LayZ boy's highly perfumed products (with girly, flowery perfume), I couldn't stop coughing non-stop for about 20 minutes, which is the reason why my diaphragm was convulsing in paroxysms and hurting me. Even the back of my tongue got sore, because I was coughing so violently.

My throat is so congested and my voice sounds so deep again, almost like I cant talk properly because the congestion has affection me bad - both from my lungs and also my sinus passages.  The cough is like the one that a person with asthma gets - very dry, very audible and very painful.  I felt so sick and terribly upset that he would do something like that on purpose and then tell me to "fuck off". What a brother huh? What a piece of shit, more like it.

The idiot LayZ boy knows not to use his stuff, because it makes me ill. So what happens, nothing. I just get really sick, he gets a free pass to continue to do what he wants and he is abusive to me in the process by telling me to "fuck off, this is my house too, I live here so I can do what I want". Yes, of course you can, you nasty vindictive piece of shit, when you know that it's going to make me ill.

He has been told that his perfumed products make me very sick, but he doesn't give a damn and in fact wears them more to hurt me more, because he knows it will make me ill as it is his prime object is to "get me" for whatever goes on in his deluded mind. That is one sick, psychopathic person he is.

Imagine having a family like this. Imagine them purposely doing whatever they can to hurt you - with their actions and their words. Imagine how you would feel to have this shit. Lucky I am a strong person who more fortitude than they think.

I am the one who is going to survive out of this and I will find my way out and I will be free of their terror.

LayZ boy bought even more perfumed products

LayZ boy wearing his sunglasses inside the house, the  lunatic that he is

This evening, because LayZ boy was feeling resentful of the fact that I was paying him absolutely no attention and just completing ignoring him for the main part, he decided to have a shower again, only 2 days after his last one - that is so unusual for him, as he normally does not shower very much, usually only once a month. And he purchased really strongly smelly, very highly perfumed with strong synthetic girlie perfumed soaps, shampoo and conditioner.

The smell was so strong, it pervaded through the house and even my volatile step-father told him that it was too strong.

So imagine that, he didn't like the smell, whereas I get adversely affected by it, even by just brief exposure, because I have multiple chemical sensitivities, so you can imagine what it did to me.

I was only in the hallway to go to the kitchen very briefly and because the odour was that strong, it made me cough so badly, that I was not only convulsing, but also dry retching, because my diaphragm was in paroxysms and hurting so much. My lungs started to get really tight, it hurt to breath and my nose, eyes and face got so itchy and everything was painful. I started getting such a runny, yet blocked nose, where so much mucous started to build up and while I blew out heaps of it in a tissues, there was still more.

I made myself a hot cup of spicy lentil soup (the spices were good for reducing the severe inflammation I was suffering) and just before that had some magnesium supplement, which helped to reduce the spasms in my diaphragm and lungs.

Then, I told my mother that her idiot son LayZ boy should not be using perfumed products like that because she could hear and see what it was doing to me, just being exposed to it very briefly. She told me that it was his aftershave (because that's what he told her and she knows it isn't, but she continues to lie to me) and when LayZ boy walked into the kitchen, he told me to "fuck off, I live here and can use whatever I want to use". What a fucking asshole piece of shit.

He couldn't handle the fact that for days now he's been using more perfumed products and while I have been telling him and his idiotic bitch of a mother about it, I have stayed mainly in my bedroom, so I haven't been affected by it so much. So, because I was singing yesterday and today and because LayZ boy is a vindictive, nasty, useless piece of shit, he decided he would try stronger perfumed stuff to really "get me".

I have to get out of here right as soon as I can. Their totally and blatant disrespect and abuse on all levels is too much to bear. I cant keep getting sick all the time because of those assholes. It's ridiculous that I have to be treated in such an obnoxious manner by people who are not good enough to wipe the dirt from my shoes!

My mother the crazy woman who cries when she gets lost

I think my mother has major abandonment issues and that is why she needs to control me so desperately.

Her own mother was kicked out of her home by her husband (my mother's father) because she was sick too much and was a liability to the family because she couldn't work on the farm. They lived in a rural area. Of course because my mother was only a small child, not even five, she would have felt that her mother abandoned her, so she has these major abandonment issues now.

It came to light one day when we were in a big shopping market centre and she was lost. She's really bad with directions as it is, but it was a market, not out in some strange city where she didn't know anyone and plus she had a mobile phone with her so she couldn't get lost.

She decided she wanted to go off and explore on her own, as did her friend and I did the same. We agreed we would meet at a designated time in a designated place and I reinforced to my mother to orient herself properly so that she could remember it. And of course she said she would, but like a child, she just says yes and then her attention wanders off elsewhere.

At the designated time both her friend and I were at the designated place, but not mother. We waited and then I got a phone call on my mobile phone. She started crying like a baby, telling me she was lost and didn't know how to find us and that she would "never" find us. She kept crying and telling me how lost she was. This was a huge almost square market mall, only one level and then a car park, with a lot of vendors/stalls and it was still busy, so she wasn't going to be lost forever.

I had to calm her down, ask her what could she see in front of her and then direct her to where we were, even though this was the first time I had ever been to that market mall too. My sense of direction is a lot better than hers even in the worst of times.

When she finally got to use, she started laughing inanely like a child, as if it was such a funny lark that she got so lost, go overwhelmed with emotion that she was crying and that it was nothing unusual.

This is my family! A bunch of nutcases who try to make me responsible for them and their actions, when they need to take responsibility for themselves, not put all of this unwarranted responsibility on me.

Stayed right away from the nonsense family yesterday

Yesterday, I just stayed in my bedroom all day, other than toilet breaks and getting food, which I quickly brought back to my bedroom.

I have to really furtively open my door and go to the kitchen without making any noise, because if the stalker brother LayZ boy hears that I have gone to the kitchen, he immediately comes out of his room, to follow me in the kitchen.  He did that on one occasion this evening, but I managed to get out of there quickly before his highly perfumed self could affect me.

Earlier in the day, I stood outside in the backyard, near the doorway of the pergola, reading some advertisements that came in the mail and basking a bit in the nice sunshine - it was a sunny day today. It was so lovely to have the sun on my face and arms. It really made me feel good. I need to do that more often when LayZ boy is not around.

I was only there for about 5 minutes, because the idiot LayZ boy must have heard me turning the pages of the paper advertisements because at one point he opened his window to hear better and when he looked out, he must have thought he could see me, so he went to our parent's bedroom to have a better look (their bedroom looks out onto the pergola) and as soon as he saw me, out he came to have a cigarette right next to where I was standing. He didn't go to the toilet, which he does sometimes in their ensuite, he opened their bedroom door to have a look on the pergola to see if I was there.

Of course I moved back inside to my bedroom as soon as I heard him opening the screen door of the pergola, so it didn't affect me, but his stalker mentality is sickening and something I wish I didn't have to contend with at all.

I am just on such high alert every day, having to be alert for him coming anywhere near where I am, having to be furtive so that he cant hear me when I leave my bedroom, so that he doesn't follow me with his highly perfumed self or highly perfumed and strongly cigarette smoke self.  It's an awful way to live your life, it's awful to have mentally ill family members who are vindictive and psychopathic and other members covering for them, pretending that they are indeed normal when they are so obviously not.

Feeling sick to my stomach

Now after this altercation with mother, I just feel so deflated and sick to my stomach, literally.

I feel so ill, my stomach hurts so much. Crampy, nauseous pain. And I just feel like crying.

It's just demoralising to have to be subjected to this crap almost on a daily basis.

First both my mother and step-father yell at me, bang on my door and are rude, nasty and obnoxious earlier this evening and just before my mother again steals the key from my bedroom, yells at me and tries to control me.

These people are absolutely vile and disgusting, so no wonder I feel ill.

My stomach feels queasy, like I am going to throw up and my lungs hurt, so I am coughing again.

And I feel absolutely deflated, like the energy has been knocked out of me and I just feel like crying.

They are such awful, awful people! My family? Ha! I don't need a family like that. They are no family.

How the hell am I going to handle the idiots

How can I handle being around these people who treat me so poorly?  How can I reconcile myself to the fact that I have such a horrible, shitty family who take pleasure in seeing me in pain?

They are absolutely vile, disgusting people.

I want nothing to do with them.

But dammit it's just hard to find a way out.

I am not working because I am sick.

I have severe allergies and cannot be in an enclosed room with people wearing strong perfumes or perfumed skin/hair/body care products because they may me ill - I get an allergic reaction so bad and am sick for days. So being in a meeting room, even an interview with someone that is wearing strong perfumes is completely out for me. I have multiple chemical sensitivities, unfortunately.

And because I am not working, I am not getting a proper income, which means it's difficult to find anything affordable to rent. But not only that, I wouldn't even be approved for anything because I am not working and the money I get wouldn't even cover the weekly rent, so I wouldn't even be able to afford food, electricity, phone, Internet or public transport because I would be in debt each week.

I cant share with anyone, because I am so allergic that I couldn't handle being around anyone who uses any type of products - body/hair/face as well as cleaning/laundry products - because they would make me ill. 

It's just such a difficult situation I find myself in and meanwhile the idiotic, nonsense family become more idiotic and nonsensical.

I am still waiting for that agency to get back to me about affordable housing - you pay only 25% of the money you get, so that is basically not very much at all. But the issue is that the housing market is so tight and there are not enough houses for the people who are looking. So I wait, in absolute hell. It just sucks big time.

I need to win some major prize in a lottery. That would sort out a lot of my problems. I could afford any type of property, especially those holiday rentals or serviced apartments that don't care if you work or not. I'd have to tell them to use my own products to clean the place, not their toxic stuff and it would be all good. I could stay there for a few months until an appropriate place came up for me and I could move immediately. Then I would have no more abuse.

Sick sick family

I just went to the shops to return some oranges that had started to go mouldy, even though I only bought them two days ago and when I came back my mother was up and ready to pounce on me, yet again. When I was going out, I went to the kitchen to get the bag of oranges and she was just lying there on the couch, in the dark, like a lunatic. Not sleeping, just lying there, pissed off.

I had just gone to the bathroom to brush my teeth and left the key in the lock on my door, so my sick mother pounced on the key and took it, because she looks for any opportunity that she can humiliate me and try to control me.

I told her to give me back the key, that it didn't belong to her and it was my room and that I could call the police to let them know she stole it. She just wanted to argue with me, telling me that I could no longer use the car because I have to pay for the all the petrol to use it. Umm I already pay for petrol and many times I paid for petrol and my step-father didn't put a cent in and yet he drove it more than I did, but this week, he put petrol in and asked me for money and I told him not to put the petrol in that day, to wait till the next day when petrol was cheaper, but he wouldn't so I told him I wouldn't pay for it.

She just kept arguing with me, just talking nonsense. I told them that when I left here, I would not be contacting her. She kept telling me I would. I reminded her when I didn't live here before, I hardly ever contacted her, that she phoned me all the time. She kept telling me I was lying. Yeah, right, I was telling the truth, but according to her, it was a lie, because it didn't justify the crap she was telling me. Then she started spouting about how she came to visit me when I was sick and again, I told her that she called me all the time so if I was sick and in hospital, I told her and she couldn't keep herself away because she is a paranoid freak. That's about the only time she shows affection and concern, when she thinks she will lose me, otherwise it's the abusive behaviour and yelling at me non-stop.  And of course during this time, LayZ boy was giving his opinion from his room, as if any of this concerned him, when it doesn't. He's such a gigantic moronic fool.

So just to make my mother realise she cannot control me, she cant come into my room without my permission I put on a YouTube video of Lady Gaga's Telephone video, the extended version really loud. So loud, that it drowned her screaming voice. And of course, because the idiot LayZ boy has nothing to do with it, he piped in with his opinion, but the music cut out his voice too, so I didn't have to hear his idiocy either. She tried to get inside, but I kept the door locked by holding the handle in the locked position and as I was at an advantage, she couldn't get it.

Soon she tired of her arguing and trying to steal the key and left. She left the key on the door and so I turned off the music to. But not before I had to hear the idiot LayZ boy telling me, "turn off the music you fucking idiot".

The people in my so-called family are appalling, disgusting, poor excuses for human beings.

The hell house with the insane people continues

These people who call themselves my immediate family are not normal, not sane and certainly not nice.

Just a few minutes ago, my step-father started banging on my door loudly and telling me, viciously that I was going to "burn down the house" and called me a "lazy idiot" because I had food warming up in the oven, at low heat, for 30 minutes. What a moron!

I was just about to finish reading a page and then in about a minute, I was going to turn the oven off and get my food out. But no, he has to harass me about it and be mean and derogatory, for no reason other than because he likes to be cruel and abusive to me.

When I got into the kitchen/family room, all three of them were there - mother and step-father laying and sitting on the couch and brother LayZ boy was making himself coffee. I tried to not breathe with my nose, because LayZ boy had put on more of his perfumed products and got out of there really quickly as soon as I took my food out of the oven.

I went back to my bedroom and my mother went ballistic at me, because I left the hallway door open. Obviously I had both hands full with the food tray and had just set it on my bed when she started screaming at me - I didn't even get a chance to go back and close the door. She was vicious and cruel, yelling at me and then banging on my door loudly yelling at me in a nasty way that I "better close the hallway door next time, or else" and then she went  back into the kitchen/family room. What a bitch.

Soon after LayZ boy walked to his bedroom and started yelling out, "Grandpa, grandpa, where are you?" as he walked past my bedroom, like a lunatic.  He's been saying things all day as he walks past my room and of course I have stayed in here and totally ignored him and he cant handle that. What a complete and utter moronic idiot he is.

These people are like wolves baying for me. They are simply not normal and I will not allow them to screw me over any more. I will not. I have kept my distance from them and don't engage with any of them on any level for the last two days, but still they insist on saying nasty and derogatory things to me. There is something seriously wrong with all of them.

These people are not related to me. As soon as I get out of here, I intend to sever all ties with them. I am not going to ever contact them again. They  are dead to me.

LayZ boy continues to use his highly perfumed products to make me ill

Yesterday LayZ boy had a shower - the first one in about a month. He's such a slob and doesn't shower very much at all, maybe once a month, if that.

This is the reason why he uses such highly perfumed products - to get rid of the stench of his dirty smell!

LayZ boy also goes to the bathroom, sunglasses on, cigarette in mouth, does his business, doesn't wash his hands and then immediately goes outside to smoke his cigarette with his dirty hands. He is a disgusting pig. Actually that's an insult to pigs, who are clean animals other than rolling around in sludge, they are clean, unlike LayZ boy who is filthy.

So when LayZ boy had the shower, he used his highly perfumed products - shampoo, conditioner, soap, face care products - and pranced all around the house, left the bathroom door open to infuse the whole house with it. And this is knowing full well how allergic I am and how sick I get when I get into contact with this stuff.

I told my mother that it was just abhorrent that he did this. She said nothing, of course, because she defends him. Instead she starts screaming at me, asking me how I can go to the shops when I am that allergic. I told her, that I do with great difficulty and I try to find the person to serve me that doesn't have any make-up on, as they are unlikely to be wearing anything to affect me. She became irrational and told me "everyone wears perfume". Yeah sure, you idiot, everyone does and you have proof of this because you go around smelling everyone. What a foolish, idiotic, irrational thing to say.

I got upset and told her that her son was a narcissist. She replied, "you are", when she doesn't even know what it means. She stood really close to me, like she was trying to being threatening to me. I then told her the story of Narcissus and that LayZ boy confirmed to me that that is who he identified with as soon as he read the story. Then LayZ boy telling me to "stop listening to him" when he is in his room, obviously because he looks in the mirror and tells himself how much he loves himself. As if I stand near his room to listen to his mental ramblings.

They both started yelling at me after that and I just told them that karma would ensure to get them both. They cant treat someone like shit and get away with it like that. No way.

LayZ boy the complete mental stalker

My brother, LayZ boy is completely mental and a stalker.

He cant handle it when I don't want to associate with him and he has been like this since we were kids. He doesn't have much going in his life other than watching DVD's every single day and smoking until his lungs give out.

If he is outside smoking and sees that I am in the kitchen/family room, he immediately comes in and stays in there, pretending he needs to do something when he doesn't. I totally ignore him and he soon leaves. But he comes back again and again if he sees that I am there. He reeks of cigarette smoke, because he's just smoked a few cigarettes and wants to try to imbue the area with it to make me ill, on purpose.

If I am outside hanging clothes on the clothesline and he's in his bedroom, which has a direct view of the clothesline, he immediately comes out to smoke near me. He'll move away, but not before lighting his cigarette and having a few puffs near me. I have learnt now not to hang clothes when he's at home, only when he's not around, because then he's not around to do this.

If he hears any noise from the kitchen/family room, he comes there because he thinks I am there. To imbue the area with his highly perfumed and/or cigarette smoke infused self, to hurt and upset me because he knows that I am highly allergic to everything as I have multiple chemical sensitivity.

If LayZ boy hears me open my room and leave it, he'll come out of his room and follow me to the kitchen/family room and start talking out loud, saying, "loser, loser, loser", to me, but not actually look at me. He'll stay there and open cupboards and say, "do I want anything out of the cupboard?" and open and close them, as well as the fridge (he'll say, "is there anything I want in the fridge?"), like a complete sick in the head freak. Then if he gets a plate, he'll twirl it on the bench, so that it makes clanging noises - he'll do that several times until he gets bored.

No matter how much I ignore him, he continues with his sick stalker behaviour to antagonise, hurt and upset me. And the fact that he can make me ill/allergic with his perfumed products, is just an added bonus for the psychopath that he is.

LayZ boy takes great pleasure in giving people pain, in hurting them. He's totally cruel and vindictive.

As I have already stated so many times - with a family like this, I don't need enemies.

Yesterday, I heard his step-father tell him that they saw his younger daughter with her boyfriend at one of the shopping centres they went to. LayZ boy said something about the fact that he hadn't seen her since she came her a number of weeks ago. LayZ boy's children wont have much to do with him and he doesn't want to face the reason why - because he's an abusive idiot and no-one other than his equally deluded and mental mother would put up with that.

These fools dont deserve to own any pets

They are simply abhorrent, their actions pertaining to their cat is abhorrent and cruel.

The cat has injured his paw and cant extend his nails out. The vet thinks it's either a break in the paw or a strain on the tendon that serves the nail in the paw, but that they had to bandage it and keep it stable for a few weeks to get it to heal. In addition to this, they are supposed to keep the cat inside at all times until it gets better.

The cat's bandage fell off a day after it was bandaged. They wont take it back to the vet to get it re-bandaged because they cant seem to tell the vet that they should be liable for paying for it again, after it fell off after just one day, so they left it like that.  I cant fight with them to take the cat to the vet, because they just act even more vitriolic and abusive to me when I have done so in the past, even though the cat had an abscess and had to get it drained and take antibiotics.

Even if they are so petty that they wont take the cat to the vet (it's just a $50 fee they would be charged - which just shows how petty they are) they are supposed to keep it inside, but they don't. It's now two days that they have let the cat outside and he climbs up over the fence and hurts his paw more, so that it's going to take longer to heal, if it does. They just have absolutely no sense whatsoever. Just totally ignorant and idiotic.

This is just cruelty and if I say anything, they tell me to "piss off and mind my own business", to "get lost and go back to bed" or they tell me, "it's our cat, not yours, so it's none of your business". What idiocy is that.

They really don't deserve to own any pets when they don't know how to treat them properly. If I could report them for animal cruelty, I would, but this isn't enough to show animal cruelty because it's not bad enough. But if it were, I would and then they could go to jail. Blood stupid idiotic and cruel ignoramuses.

Finally got in contact with the accommodation person

Yesterday, after first trying the woman in the agency who finds cheaper accommodation for people in dire need and getting her voicemail, I tried again in the afternoon and got through to her - she finally answered the phone. I was beginning to think she took the whole week off work until she answered!

She told me that she took an extra long weekend and had not yet caught up with everything since she only came back today (Monday was a public holiday and she also took Tuesday as another holiday).

She told me that she had not looked into my file and had not been able to look into my case yet, to see what can be done for me. She did remember me (I think), as I did remind her that I was the one she saw on Friday afternoon who showed her the video of my family. She did say she remembered that. I don't know how anyone could forget, it was so graphic and horrible.

She took my details again (client number and phone number) and promised me she would look into it tomorrow but not before 1pm, as she had meetings all morning and wouldn't be able to do anything until after that.

Gee these public sector employees are so slow in doing anything! And this woman is the team leader of the branch there, so if anyone can help, I hope that she can. But she does seem rather slow in her actions, not mentally slow, just slow to action. And I need quick action, quickly, to help me.

I need to get out of this violent situation here and this type of accommodation they can offer me is the only real choice I have right now, given that I am sick, I am stressed and I am down (emotionally and mentally). I really need to get out of this situation with my so-called family, urgently, so that I can find a safe harbour and heal my life. I need a place and space that is my own, that cant be taken away and which can be a base until I start getting better, get a job again and feel better about myself on all levels.

Please let this woman help me get accommodation quickly that is suitable.

I am on high alert, so stressed every single day

With a family like mine, I certainly don't need any enemies - my family is enemy enough for me - they treat me worse than they would treat their worst nemesis.

Because they are so abusive and volatile every day, it just stresses me out endlessly.

Having the idiot brother who puts on his perfumed products and walks into the kitchen if he thinks I will be there, knowing that it will make me ill (yes I am that sensitive, unfortunately) or coming straight into the kitchen if when he's coming back inside from having a cigarette, sees me in the kitchen, just to imbue the air with his stinky cigarette smoke, which also makes me allergic, using his perfumed products in the bathroom right next to my bedroom and leaving the bathroom door open and my step-father's volatility and emotional as well as physical abuse, my brother LayZ boy's mental and physical abuse and my mother's bitchiness as well as her enabling their vile behaviour, well all of that, every day, just affects me so badly.

I have to worry about putting my clothes out on the clothes line, because LayZ boy loves to stand next to my clothes and blow smoke into them, so that they are imbued with the cigarette smoke and it affects me, by making me allergic when I put them near my face - this happened with my bed sheets. I was so allergic for a while because of his cigarette smoke imbuing the sheets and it was making me sneeze, get itchy, have a runny nose and find it difficult to breathe. Unfortunately for me, I am severely allergic at present, basically due to this intense stress I am under, so my allergies are critically bad.

I have multiple chemical sensitivities, which means I am allergic to basically just about everything. LayZ boy knows it and he on purpose does things to make me ill. What a disgusting, vile piece of shit he is.

Needless to say, I feel stressed and upset all the time. That isn't good for my immune system and that is why I have had this flu now still for almost four weeks and my voice still sounds congested and sinuses and lungs are sore.

My mother's insane thoughts

My mother loves to say, "God will punish" XYZ for whatever imagined wrong they have done to her.

So, today, I decided to use her own line against her. I told her that the cat peeing on her bed was not only divine retribution but that "God was punishing" all three of them for being so awfully abusive to me.

She got really pissed of by that, because, I guess, the truth does hurt. She knows she has been a total bitch to me, she knows her husband has been a total prick to me and she knows her son has been a total asshole to me, so the cat peeing in their room wasn't anything I did, or encouraged, he just managed to do it on his own. That cut her bad.

That set her off telling me what a terrible daughter I am (yes, she is that deluded to tell me I am a bad person, because I tell her the truth about how abusive she, her husband and son LayZ boy are and she doesn't like it, so she attacks me and enables her son LayZ boy and husband to physically assault me, then lies to the police about it) and that every single thing is my "fault". She blames everything (and what is everything anyway?) on me. She continued to tell me how terrible I am and that I deserved to be hit by her husband and my brother LayZ boy.

I told her to just stop it and leave me alone, that I didn't want to hear any more of her nonsense.

She then started threatening to cut off my Internet connection. Basically because she felt so defensive and upset that I used her own words back to her and she did not like it one bit, she wanted to "punish" me, so she wanted to do what she could to take whatever she could that is important, away from me. She does this because I told her that she, her husband and son LayZ boy are getting paid back, in a small way by the cat peeing in their bedrooms. That is enough for her to go ballistic and to start yelling at me and threatening me. That of course, makes me defensive, so I told her that everyone they know is going to see their vile behaviour in the video I took of their violence and abuse. That set her off even more to say ridiculously mean things to me.

And when I walk away to go to the laundry and do something productive (like laundering my dirty clothes), because I don't want to get caught up in her nonsense, she starts telling me, "Yeah that's right, walk away when you know you're wrong."  I started yelling back, telling her that I wasn't wrong, I had proof of their vile behaviour and it was always them who were lying. She started threatening again, so I just started repeating over and over again, really loudly, to drown her voice, "I have the video and everyone will see how vile you three are."  Finally she walked away and left me in peace to do the laundry.

These people are insanity personified!

Sinusitis is getting a little better again today

I have still got the sinusitis, but it is getting slowly better. My voice is still congested and sounds deep and husky, still. But, it is getting better, albeit very slowly.

I am taking the olive leaf extract three times a day and I think that is what is helping me. My blood tests showed that my white blood cells had increased a bit, so that is most likely due to the olive leaf extract, which while it tastes really awful, is actually really excellent for the immune system as it boosts the activity of the white blood cells to make them function better, as well as boosting the actual numbers of white blood cells

I am also taking the iron and will start on the vitamin D and calcium liquid supplement shortly too. While my calcium levels are not low, luckily, given that I am lactose intolerant and don't have much dairy, it probably would be good for me anyway, to have a bit more calcium in my body, to help my bones and body stay healthy. The last blood test showed I was a little deficient in vitamin D, so I do need to supplement that. I haven't been going outside much, the weather has been crap and I feel worse when I got outside, because the cold air adversely affects my sinuses.

When will my life get better?

New place to live isnt happening fast enough

I have tried to call that woman from the agency to help me find cheap accommodation, but every time I try to call her, she is not picking up her phone - it goes to voicemail!

Frustrating!

She told me to call her yesterday afternoon and I did, but she wasn't there. I tried earlier today, again, she wasn't there and I got the voicemail again.

I just want to get out of here, out of this hell house and the sooner I can leave, the better it will be for me.

It's so bad for my health - mental, physical, emotional, spiritual - to continue living here!

Once I get out of here, I can start healing properly from the pain of the abuse I have been subjected to.

The problem with accommodation here is that everything is unbelievably expensive to rent on your own. And if it's cheap, it's still a lot more than I can afford, given that I am not working at the moment and am depending on Government assistance for the money I get.  Anything I can rent would eat up almost the whole amount of the money I get - then I would have no money for food, electricity, phone bills, all of that would create over $150 worth of debt each week. It's too much.

I cant share with anyone, because I am so damn allergic to everything. How easy would it be to find someone who doesn't use perfume/aftershave/deodorant/shampoo/face care/cosmetics/cleaning products/laundry products that are not going to make me ill? Not easy at all and I probably wouldn't be able to find it. So while it would be cheaper to share, I cant. I have severe allergies, which is due to the multiple chemical sensitivities I have.

So basically I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's so difficult.

The cat did a pee in their bedrooms - on their beds and the floor

I have been saying for a while now that karma will get those people in my family who have been abusive, volatile and violent to me. Well, karma is paying them back.

This morning, the idiots didn't take care of the cat properly, closed the hallway door while they were all in the kitchen and left the cat to roam around crying, needing to go to the toilet, but without access to his kitty litter. So what is a poor cat to do? He goes to the toilet where he can. He did a big pee on my parents bed and it also must have gone on the floor too, plus he did another pee in my brother, LayZ boy's room too.

Sucked in to them!

Cats pee stinks so bad, especially from the male cats. For some reason male cats pee is so unbelievably smelly.

I was in my bedroom when all of this happened, but I didn't know about it as I was asleep at the time.

They found the cat and started yelling, which is when I woke up. Then my brother LayZ boy tells my mother: "See, I told you, you should have let the cat stay outside. This never would have happened if the cat was outside." Then my step-father gets into it and starts yelling at the "stupid cat" and telling her that the cat has to go outside and he's kicking it out now. I couldn't get out there fast enough because he let it out. Then LayZ boy continues talking to himself as he walks past the hallway, saying: "I knew I was right. The cat must go outside, it should never have stayed inside. See, I am always right." He kept saying this to himself over and over, like a litany of sorts. What a fucking lunatic! Insanity!

Now the cat still has a sore paw, he is still injured, he still cant walk on it and the vet has recommended it stay inside till that paw heals because it cant get worse if it goes outside. The vet thinks he may have broken his paw or sprained it, so he cant walk on it until it heals and that's not for another few weeks. They have been told to keep the cat inside to prevent it from using that paw and damaging the paw further. But do they listen?

But do these idiots have any sense? Of course not. There are other cats outside, their cat is not de-sexed, so he fights other cats, they have all these hidey-holes and space under the sunroom which is open and easily accessible with all of their junk under there, that the cat can get into trouble.

Then when I asked my mother why the cat was outside, she replied: "He escaped." That was an outright lie, yet again from the liar! I told her that I heard exactly what happened and that they were such idiots to let out an injured cat outside when he could hurt himself even more. She told me: "Mind your own business, it's our cat and we can do whatever we want." And of course my step-father told me to, "go back to bed, why don't you. The cat is staying outside. I don't care what you think, so piss off." What ludicrous idiocy!

I just cannot comprehend the insanity of people like them. They take no responsibility for anything and just lash out at everyone and everything that they think has less power than them (that is mainly me). They are so deluded and do not deserve to have any pets because they cannot take care of them properly.

Anyway, this is part one of the divine retribution they are going to get. There is no way that karma ain't coming for those three imbeciles for doing what they are doing to me.

Sinusitis is starting to get a little better today

I still haven't shaken off this flu. And I know, with the idiots I am living with, it's no wonder.

My voice is still congested, my sinuses are still blocked up and hurt, but at least my teeth have stopped hurting today. They were all hurting me quite badly the last 3-5 days, I think because of the sinus infection. Whenever there is a bad sinus infection, it can make the teeth hurt too, as their roots are near the sinus walls, so any inflammation in the sinus passages, can put pressure on the teeth roots and make everything just so painful. Plus, given the abscess I had on my top right molar, it just aggravated the pain and made it all hurt even more.

Today, I think because of all the olive leaf extract, echinacea and saline nasal spray I have been taking and using, the pain in my sinuses and teeth has settled down and not hurting any more. Thank goodness! Even the area around where the root of the molar with the abscess is not painful like before too - I can press on it without it hurting me real bad like before. There is some tenderness there, but not bad pain, as such.

I still feel really tired and lethargic and that is because I am still sick, but it is getting better, slowly. I made the appointment with the dentist to get the next part of the root canal completed. Great. Hopefully it should be as painless as the first appointment I had!

Idiotic, ignorant, stupid family that I have

These people who call themselves my family are beyond idiotic, beyond ignorant and beyond stupid.

They seem to think that because they cant smell something, therefore I cannot either and therefore, it's all my head, that I am not allergic to anything and I am lying. It is completely infuriating to deal with idiots like them.

I keep trying to reason with them, by telling them that they don't have severe allergies, they don't get sinusitis, they don't sneeze at dust, they don't have hay fever, like me, so how are they in a position to tell me what I can or cant be allergic to? They continue to deny that there is an issue.

They all know I have multiple chemical sensitivities, that I am highly allergic and cannot be around anyone with lots of perfumed products anywhere on their body because my immune system over-reacts and I get major allergic symptoms, which make me feel like shit. And I cant take conventional medicines because I get really bad side effects from them, so I am totally stuck feeling like crap because the idiots wont listen and respect my illness and show some compassion and kindness to me. I know, it's too much to ask for, from ignorant idiots like them.

It's my mother who is a total and utter bitch. My idiot brother LayZ boy does things to be vindictive and retaliatory, by spraying himself with every perfumed product he has and parading up and down the hallway, leaving his room open so the aroma can pervade the whole area (towards my bedroom) and she simple refuses point blank to recognise that he's doing things on purpose because he knows I will get sick and then she tells me she cannot smell anything, so therefore there is no smell. She's lying. And because of this, it gives that vindictive fucking asshole of a brother LayZ boy permission to keep doing it, because his mother wont do anything to stop him. And of course I just get sicker. God help me! And I am not even religious, but I need someone to help me!

I showed two of the videos of the night they were being abusive a week ago to this woman I know who owns a small store and she was absolutely shocked. She couldn't stop shaking her head and her mouth was totally agape, as she was shocked, beyond words. I have told her how horrible they are to me, but a video image of the actual situation is far more effective at showing the disgusting reality and is more shocking because of its intense abuse and violence. I said to her, "See what kind of family I have?" and she responded with, "It's not a family." No kidding! No-one should have to put up with he violent and abusive crap I have had to put up with, ever. It's totally and utterly disgusting!

The more people that see how disgusting my family, the more people that can see their vile behaviour, the better I will feel, because then they will know what kind of shit I have been subjected to all these years from the violent, volatile and abusive idiots!

Mocking me and dismissing me

All this family does is to mock me, abuse me and dismiss me.

They have not changed since I was a child and having LayZ boy living here, it brings the old dynamics to the fore ever more. He is mentally unwell. Anyone that hears how he really behaves and what he really says to me say the same thing: "LayZ boy is sick in the head, he is violent and abusive and not a normal person." LayZ boy is a coward who would never behave the way he does to me in front of his parents, in front of anyone else. It's only because his parents allow him to get away with his shitty behaviour that he continues to do it - they give him a free pass because they don't do anything to stop him. He calls me names, he tells me to "fuck off" and says derogatory things about me in front of his parents and they say nothing to him. And if I start yelling at him to stop, I get yelled at and told off and they start to come near me to try to hit me, or throw my things around the place. It's absolutely ridiculous! And on and on I suffer.

Then my step-father continues to mock me at every chance he can get. Everything I say or do is an opportunity for him to mock me and laugh at me. I can ignore him, but he continues to do it, like a rabid animal. And if I tell him to stop it, to stop saying it, he starts getting abusive and wants to hit me. He gets all indignant, like how dare I tell him to stop talking, who the hell am I to tell him to stop talking, that he can do whatever the hell he wants. Sick, sick, sick.

And my mother, well she just leaves the house, totally ignores the situation and pretends it's not happening. But not before telling me off, telling me that its "all in my head" and that I am "mentally unwell" - totally dismissing my health because as far as she is concerned, there is nothing wrong with me. Right, so projecting her son's insanity and her delusions and her husband's volatility onto me because I am standing up for my rights! Oh that's right, I forgot, I don't have any rights in this house (according to them) and they are allowed to control me (again, according to them). Yeah, right, how terrible of me to forget the rules of the mental house and to want to have a peaceful, normal existence! That's just too much for these mentally unwell people to handle.

I am thinking about posting the videos of the other night, when they were abusing me, so that other people can see how awfully abusive they are.

LayZ boy continues to use his perfumed products to make me sick

The idiot brother LayZ boy continues to use his perfumed products and when I tell him and my parents that it is making me ill, they tell me that they cannot smell anything. No fucking kidding! I am severely allergic and highly sensitive that what people cant really smell affects me really adversely so irrespective of whether or not they can smell anything (they are not the sick ones with multiple chemical sensitivities), it still affects me.

So instead of compassion (did I really expect normal behaviour from abnormal people), they act all dismissive and start yelling at me, telling me to "get lost", "piss off", "fuck off" and that I just should go to my room and lock myself inside and stop being a burden to them. Yeah how nice of them to be so nice.

The lunatic LayZ boy has recently been told that he needs to stop using his products because they make me sick, so what does the fucking asshole do? He puts everything he owns that has a strong perfumed smell on him and parades around the house, so that if I am around, it can affect me. And of course immediately after being exposed, I start coughing in a convulsions, but according to them, I am just "pretending". What asshole, ignorant, imbeciles they are! As if someone would purposely start coughing in such a way that they are convulsing with and almost throwing up from the coughing if it wasn't because of a direct result from being exposed to the perfumed products.

No wonder I cant get better. No wonder this flu and sinus infection has been going on for three weeks now. No wonder my voice is still congested after three weeks. No bloody wonder with idiots like that who have no compassion, no sense and no understanding that happen to be around me and purposely do things to hurt me.

With a family like this, I sure don't need enemies at all.

Just cant shake this flu and sinus infection at all

I am still sick - 3 weeks after getting this flu, my voice is still congested, my nose is still blocked and infected, I am still coughing and I still feel lethargic and sleepy. It's annoying.

I have been taking olive leaf extract, which has known anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties and while it is helping, it doesn't seem to be enough because I still sound and feel sick.

I feel so sleepy every day. No matter how much I sleep, it feels like I haven't slept enough and I want to keep on sleeping some more.

In addition to this, the abscessed tooth which had the first root canal session is hurting a bit, probably due to the sinusitis infection being more prominent on the same side as the abscessed tooth. It probably means the abscess infection hasn't properly cleared up, but the problem with my sinus infection is that when I lie down flat so they can work on my teeth, because everything is very congested in the back of my throat/nose, it makes it very hard to breath and that will affect the dental work. The receptionist understood when I told her (she could hear my voice too, which was very congested) earlier this week, on Monday, that I was unable to have the dental appointment the next day. She said she would call me in about two weeks to see if I am feeling better and to try to re-schedule the appointment.

Right now, my head is so totally blocked up and hurting me, pain in the right side of my head where my frontal and maxillary sinuses are located.  And this idiotic, abusive family I have don't help much either.

I so wish I could win a huge amount of money on a Lottery and just get the heck away from them. I wish!

Trying to find accommodation somewhere else

I have been trying to find accommodation elsewhere.

I have now got a letter from my doctor stating that I have multiple chemical sensitivities and that the situation in my home is affecting my health.

There is an agency here who can provide housing for people in dire need (like me) as it is really unaffordable to try to live on your own, as rents are so expensive and I cant live with other people because of my severe allergies.

After I saw the doctor yesterday (Friday) afternoon, I went to see the people at the agency, but the woman who I saw before wasn't available, as she is on holidays, so I asked the person at reception if he could get someone else for me because I wanted to see them in private. I wanted to not only tell them about the allergies (that I couldn't live in my present situation because my brother uses products which affect me and that I couldn't go to a refuge because people would be using products that would make me equally allergic), but I also wanted to show the person the video of the violence and abuse that happened here on Tuesday night, when my family were attacking me.

The guy at reception was young and very cute. He remembered me from the last time I was there and again, he was equally helpful - very sweet! He got his team leader out and she took me into a private room where I explained it all to her. I then let her see the video of the violence and she just kept shaking her head - it's horrendous to watch and I cant believe I have been subjected to that crap all my life. She told me that there was not much she could do at this moment (it was late on Friday afternoon and Monday is a holiday) and asked me to call her on Tuesday afternoon and she would see what she could do to try to get me into housing sooner.  I had already been there and I was on the top of the list to get some form of housing (as I had a letter from someone else to tell them about the abuse and violence), but I was not on their priority list, which is for people in really dire need. I think now with the letter from my doctor about my allergies and this video proof, it means I may get something sooner. God I hope so!

Mother is resolutely in denial that her son is a vindictive person

The idiot LayZ boy walks up and down the hallway and starts whistling in this insane way, just to make sure I know he's walking past. He does it to try to annoy me, but I don't react to him, yet he still does it. In-fucking-sane!

His mother told him to stop whistling while he's in the house, that there's no need for it, yet he continued to do it. She told him again to stop. He responded with: "That's how I whistle". She didn't ask him why he was whistling, she told him she wanted him to stop it, but he wont listen because he knows there are no consequences to his actions.

And the whistling is a just a minor thing he does. When they're not home, he starts banging on the hallway walls, just on the other side of my bedroom, so I can hear him, just to try to annoy me. He starts running up and down the hallway, banging on the wall on the other side of my bedroom, like a total lunatic.  He does this to try to antagonise and upset me. And no matter how little I react (I don't even come out of my room - I either turn up the volume on the TV louder or do nothing), the nutcase continues to do it. He gets bored after a while, but it's like his vindictiveness and viciousness gives him energy to be a total lunatic!

Hi mother on the other hand, wont believe he does things on purpose to antagonise and upset me, so this gives him a free pass to continue it. And when she does say anything minor to him, he acts up even more (like a freaking 5 year old child) and she gives up, so he knows how to get around her so she stops saying anything to him. And because his mother wants to deny that he does anything on purpose and wants to deny he has major mental problems, she lets him get away with his obnoxious behaviour.

Idiots all of them!

Insane family who is so totally in denial about me

This family is sick in the head, all three of them - mother, step-father and brother - they simply cant handle anything that has to do with me.

They keep telling me that since I am sick with these allergies/sinus problems, I am a total burden on them, that they cant do what they want because I am here. That they cant have people over all the time like they want, because I get sick (bullshit, they still have people over with their perfumes and I get sick) and that "everyone knows I am allergic" (as if that is something to be ashamed about, like what the hell?) and that they cant paint the doors because I am here and that I need to get out of their house because they cant handle me here.

I am overwhelmed with their compassion and care. So overwhelmed that they have such compassion for my illness. Geez! What total obnoxiousness. They act like it's my fault I am sick, that its my fault I have allergies and that I can control them. So absolutely ignorant it's just unbelievable.

Every time I try to reason with them, it ends in an argument because my mother ignores me. She just keeps on doing what she's doing, pretending that I am not there, as if ignoring me will make me go away. She doesn't want to accept that her son does things on purpose to hurt me.

Last night he put on all these perfumed products and he did so this morning again, but hey, it doesn't affect any of them, so who cares that I am that allergic and I get sick. I am irrelevant to them.

Finally after crying to her, telling her to stop ignoring me, to take away his products and replace them with other stuff, she finally went to see LayZ boy and of course he denied using anything and of course she believes him. Of course, because obviously my symptoms are all in my head, of course. Of course, I haven't been officially diagnosed with severe allergy symptoms, of course my immune system is not on high alert every day, of course I am not sick, of course.

LayZ boy comes out and tells them that he didn't do anything. Yet he's lying again. Then he tells me to "fuck off" and that he can "do whatever he wants to do" that "I cant make him change anything" and again he tells me to "fuck off". This is all in my parents presence, but of course they say nothing to him, because as far as they are concerned he is allowed to be as obnoxious as he wants to be to me without any consequences for his vile actions. LayZ boy is so cut that his mother told him not to wear his products, so to antagonise me for her telling him this, he purposely puts every product he owns on his face and body - because he knows it will make me ill. How fucked up is that? And then he lies about it. But of course, that is okay. Who cares if I get sick. Definitely not any of them. Who cares that LayZ boy is a vindictive asshole who does thing on purpose to hurt me physically - who cares about that?

Bloody hell, these idiots make me so sick! Figuratively and literally!

Then the idiot step-father started his rant about how everything is my fault. That because I am sick with severe allergies he cant have people here, cant paint doors, cant do this, cant do that - as if my allergies restrict his life in some major way. He forgets to recognise that I wasn't here for months on end, that he could have painted whatever he wanted then, but he doesn't like the truth, he likes to blame and criticise me for everything because he cant be rational. He even moved towards me like he wanted to hit me. What a vile poor excuse for a human being.  They all are. Vile,selfish, poor excuses for human beings!  No need for enemies with a family like this. They are complete and utter assholes!

Doctor called me to tell me about my blood test results

On Thursday morning, I got a call from my doctor telling me that he was calling about my blood test results (if that isn't enough to put fear in you, I don't know what is).

He told me that my iron levels were very low again, consistent with an iron deficiency (ie anaemia), that my vitamin D levels were also low and that my IgE immunoglobulin levels, while still in the normal range, were very high - they should be less than 100 and mine was 90, which signified major allergies. He also told me I needed to make an appointment with his reception to talk about what I needed to do about these results.

So on Friday morning, I called his office first thing in the morning and luckily he had a spot that afternoon (someone must have cancelled because he's never available so easily).

I saw him and told him I looked up high IgE immunoglobulin plus low iron results and that one of the possible causes (other than severe allergies, asthma, eczema, arthritis) was cancer of the blood and he told me that it definitely was not that, that it was simply due to my severe allergies and was still within a normal range. That reassured me quite a lot as I had been stressed about it from looking it up the night before. My gut feeling told me it wasn't anything as serious as that, but still, I worried.

My doctor told me I needed iron and vitamin D supplementation. He also said that the allergies I have to synthetic chemicals is very hard to treat, but that I had to see the allergy specialist who could give me further advice and treatment options.

I also showed him one of the videos of my family's abuse on Tuesday night and he agreed that it was an abusive and violent situation I was living in. I asked him if he could change the letter he wrote previously to make it clear that I have multiple chemical sensitivities, severe allergies and that the situation with my family makes it all worse. He did it for me, which was nice of him.

Violence, abuse and total denial abound

There really is something fundamentally wrong with the mental facilities of all the people in my immediate family - mother, step-father, brother - they do not ever behave like normal people.

I keep telling them I have multiple chemical sensitivities, which means I am allergic to just about everything and cannot tolerate synthetic perfumes/chemicals/cigarettes as my body reacts by making me have severe allergy symptoms, sinusitis, sore head, itchy nose, sore lungs and difficulty breathing.  I have been diagnosed with this condition, so it's not just me saying this without having an official medical diagnosis. But, their son continues to use his strongly perfumed body care and hair care products and tells me to "fuck off" and that he can use whatever he wants and I can just "fuck off" if I don't like it. What an obnoxious infantile idiot he is!

I beseech my parents about giving him alternative products, but they simply wont do anything much about it, when they know what I can/cant use.

Yesterday, again I told my mother she has to give LayZ boy some alternative things to use and not let him use his products and she said something to him (in a very off-handed way), as he was passing through the kitchen and again, he said, "I'll do and use whatever I want do do, she can just fuck off, the loser, fucking idiot". And then he left. What an imbecilic idiot he is huh?  So he knows this stuff makes me sick, but he gives not one iota for my health and then my parents wonder why I avoid him? Geez people, get your heads out of your asses and see reality for a moment!

And because LayZ boy was pissed off with his mother telling him anything about me, he decided to use his products (perfumes, after shave, face creams, whatever) again last night and come into the lounge room (where I was) and start waving around, to try to disperse it through the air to try to make me sick. What a vindictive prick!  I had to leave the lounge room immediately because it was making me ill, even though my nose is still blocked, it still affects me - that's how strong the odour was from his products and that is how sensitive I am.  What an asshole of a person LayZ boy is to purposely do this to make me ill. 

That is my family. And with this non-family I have, I certainly don't need enemies, because they are more than enough to hurt me.