I am on high alert, so stressed every single day

With a family like mine, I certainly don't need any enemies - my family is enemy enough for me - they treat me worse than they would treat their worst nemesis.

Because they are so abusive and volatile every day, it just stresses me out endlessly.

Having the idiot brother who puts on his perfumed products and walks into the kitchen if he thinks I will be there, knowing that it will make me ill (yes I am that sensitive, unfortunately) or coming straight into the kitchen if when he's coming back inside from having a cigarette, sees me in the kitchen, just to imbue the air with his stinky cigarette smoke, which also makes me allergic, using his perfumed products in the bathroom right next to my bedroom and leaving the bathroom door open and my step-father's volatility and emotional as well as physical abuse, my brother LayZ boy's mental and physical abuse and my mother's bitchiness as well as her enabling their vile behaviour, well all of that, every day, just affects me so badly.

I have to worry about putting my clothes out on the clothes line, because LayZ boy loves to stand next to my clothes and blow smoke into them, so that they are imbued with the cigarette smoke and it affects me, by making me allergic when I put them near my face - this happened with my bed sheets. I was so allergic for a while because of his cigarette smoke imbuing the sheets and it was making me sneeze, get itchy, have a runny nose and find it difficult to breathe. Unfortunately for me, I am severely allergic at present, basically due to this intense stress I am under, so my allergies are critically bad.

I have multiple chemical sensitivities, which means I am allergic to basically just about everything. LayZ boy knows it and he on purpose does things to make me ill. What a disgusting, vile piece of shit he is.

Needless to say, I feel stressed and upset all the time. That isn't good for my immune system and that is why I have had this flu now still for almost four weeks and my voice still sounds congested and sinuses and lungs are sore.

Viral infection rears its head again

Yesterday I had to catch public transport back home and as it was rather a windy day, it was not such a good day for me to be walking around, because high winds cause a lot of pollen, dust and other things to be in the air and it's not good for me when I inhale it through my nose or mouth.
My body cant handle dust, pollen and other small particles, as they get caught up in my sinuses and lungs and make my sinuses hurt (I get pain in my frontal sinuses), my ears start to hurt too because for some reason those little particles must get in my ears too and clog them up as well and my lungs hurt too, inhaling those particles irritate my lungs and cause me to cough more and all of this causes an allergic reaction.  In addition to this, the air pressure changes when there are high winds and that also affects my sinuses by making them more sore and more prevalent to infection.

When these little particles clog up my airways, the airways get irritated, inflamed and this allows any lurking viruses to invade, because my immune system is not functioning properly and so the pathogens (viruses) can easily enter, unhindered, where they can multiply and cause infection. Obviously because I haven't been feeling at all well lately, there are always viruses around, ready to invade and infect me more, so doesn't take much to get me sick.

By the time I got home, I was feeling very lethargic and ready to lie down and sleep.  My lungs were quite sore and I was coughing a lot - the bronchitis cough. My sinuses were also sore and I was getting sharp pain from my ears, especially my right ear.

Today, I feel really sick again, even though I slept for about 10 hours last night - obviously I needed it, after not sleeping enough yesterday.

I think I feel a little better

I think all the garlic and shallots (scallions) I have eaten today have definitely made a big improvement to my health. 

I had a spicy soup earlier in which I added two fresh garlic that I cut up finely after I served it.  I also added some of the white bits of the shallots, cut up finely.  I tell you what, it certainly made me feel really hot.  The heat from the spices, garlic, shallots and the warmth of the soup certainly made me feel like my fever got quite worse and I really did feel very lethargic and over-heated, quite feverish.

A few hours later, I had some vegetarian curry on quinoa, which I added some cut up shallot leaves (the green parts) and three cloves of finely cut up garlic on top to give it more heat and to help my immune system deal more effectively with this viral infection I seem to have.  I did feel quite hot and a bit lethargic after the curry, but nowhere near as hot as I felt earlier with the soup, so obviously something is working!

Several hours later (now) and I am not feeling lethargic (like last night or earlier today) and while I am a little bit warm, I am not feeling that hot.  So all of those cloves of garlic, the spices and shallots (maybe about 3-4 of them) in a short space of time, really must have taken effect in boosting my immune system to help it fight the virus, as it is no longer making me hot (feverish).  

Just now I went to my Facebook page, where I saw a lot of those cute "gifts" people send you, which definitely made me feel even better to know I had been sent such lovely energy from people.  And while I know those Facebook gifts are applications made by people to make money, it's really the thought that counts from the person who sent it to me and they were being really sweet.  It just made me feel less alone and less lonely.  It was really nice to see.

If I try to go to be earlier tonight, it may be useful for me as it will help my body heal itself.

I have the cat sleeping on my bed and he is just gorgeous.  He'll let me know when he needs to get up (which will be some very early hour of the morning I am sure).  He is such a sweet, loving cat.  At least he is the one positive, sweet, loving thing in this negative house!

Feeling sick - still

I still feel sick today.  I woke up feeling like crap, everything in my head hurting me, a bit of a fever, feeling very exhausted and my lungs also hurting, but I had some food (blueberry smoothie) and I feel a bit better and I also took my iron and multivitamin formula too.

Thankfully, now my head doesn't hurt like it did when I woke up.  I still have the fever, I still feel tired and my lungs hurt a bit, so at least one part is getting better, hopefully the rest will become better soon too. Here's hoping!

This is the whole problem with me.  I am always getting sick.  My immune system is so pummelled by the three idiots who I live with, the family who is supposed to love and support me, but who, instead give me abuse, violence and threats!  So no wonder I am so susceptible to getting viral infections all the time.  

I don't get so sick in other places, where I am nowhere near them.  I know that I am worse in the city I live in, but I think it really is them.  The constant negativity, the constant put downs, the constant demoralisation, the threat of violence and abuse, never feeling like I am safe, always on the defence, always needing to feel vigilant about my safety. All of this has to be bad for my immune system, which is being beaten down by this horrible behaviour.  It's not right or fair that I have to bear the brunt of their anger with the world - I am not at fault and I am not the problem.  It is them!

I need to get to sleep earlier tonight and have a more restful sleep to help give me the energy I need to feel better.  Actually I need to have a bit of a lie down now, as I am feeling very exhausted from being on the computer for a while!