There are a few apartments to view

Corvallis apartment development, Oregon USA

I have a few apartments to view tomorrow.

There is such a housing shortage around here and that creates a huge crisis in rents, making them so expensive.

I need to find something I can comfortably live in for at least six months, maybe 12 month. Something that is not too much of a hovel and not too horrible and old. I am too affected by my surroundings and need something that is at least decent.

But, what today has reminded me, is that I need to get the hell out of here. It is simply too damaging to my health - mental and physical - to be around people who continue to hurt me every day like these people who officially hold the title of my family do. While they may be my family in name, they are not in action or deed.

LayZ boy gets a free pass to behave how he wants

My mother constantly makes excuses for her son LayZ boy.

No matter what LayZ boy does, she wont chastise him at all. Ever.

LayZ boy walked through the family room to the balcony to have his cigarette and then walked straight back through, leaving a horrible smell of cigarette smoke in his wake. I was there, as was our mother and step-father.

The mother proceeds to have a quiet word with LayZ boy about him, to tell him yet again, in a totally civil manner, that he cannot go through the family room to have his cigarettes smoking session on the balcony. Of course, she will be nice to him about it, because that is how she talks to him, all the time.

Yet, on the other hand, if I leave a door open, she start raging up the hallway, yelling at me and slams the door shut and rages down the hallway, continuing with her yelling.

She behaves like I have done the most heinous thing in the world, that leaving a door open is just unbelievably bad. Yet, when her son leaves a smell of cigarettes in the family room (which, while it does not make her ill, she does not like the smell) that is nothing. She wont ever rage at him for anything. Ever.

And earlier, when he left all the doors open, she said nothing. She just closed the door. And that was only because I was in the same room as her and LayZ boy had just gone through that door, so obviously it was him who left the door open.

Hypocrisy? Yes, totally.

It's always like that with her. She gives LayZ boy a free pass to say and do what he pleases and doesn't realise that that will only make him behave worse.

And the galling thing is that she wont ever admit the hypocrisy of her actions. She constantly makes excuses for her son and rages on at me.

Lovely family that I have huh?

The volatility of my step-father rears its ugly head again

Just when I was having a reasonably quiet few days, without any outbursts of anger from the mental family, of course I should have known that it wouldn't last with these people.

I was just in my bedroom and I stepped out to go to the family room to get some water and my step-father was there, on my lounge suite, sitting on there with his perfumed jumper. I said to him, "you know you're supposed to take that jumper off and not sit on the lounge with it, you know how allergic I am."

My step-father takes that as an opportunity to start yelling at me, telling me he doesn't have to take anything off, it's his house, he can do what he wants to do. Then he proceeded to get up and started menacing me, like he wanted to hit me, all the while yelling at me, calling me a "bludger" "lazy", "always sick" and to "piss off".  Just the usual behaviour I get from him.

Then my step-father turns the TV off at the power point and takes the remote controls with him, telling me: "You're not going to watch the TV. So there." And then he wanted to try to put out the fire (in the fireplace), because I was standing there. He also said he was going to turn off the electricity so I couldn't watch anything or have access to the computer.

He is so irrational, that he doesn't realise when he's in his volatile rage that this will all affect him, because when I point it out, he tells me it wont. Yeah, sure it wont. If he turns off all the electricity and how is he going to see?

Then LayZ boy comes in to give his irrational commentary. He yelled at our mother: "If I was smoking marijuana in my room you'd kick me out, so you should kick her out too."  And then the denture-wearing illiterate ignoramus proceeded to tell me I am a "loser". Right. That is (a) such an irrational argument and (b) has absolutely no relevance whatsoever. What a completely ignorant fool he is.

After which, my mother tells me that "it's your fault your step-father got upset".

It's just irrational, illogical and unreasonable, as well as volatile and abusive the behaviour that that these people display, just about all the time.

This is my family. Great bunch they are huh? Not at all, unfortunately!