My family is mentally unwell - part 1: the mother

Now that I have been working and am away from my family most of the day and with the counselling I have been getting and the reading I have been doing, I can see them with more objective eyes.

It's even more apparent that my mother and brother are mentally unwell.

While I am not a psychiatrist or even psychologist, I am quite smart and have been around them for a long time, so know my family and their behaviours really well, so I am in a good position to pinpoint their symptoms and try to work out what is wrong with them. Of course they would never concede to any diagnosis, but at least I will know.

The mother has OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) to a mild extent. She tends to check and re-check everything, even coming back home when she thinks she has left the door open. My mother also has bipolar disorder. She is so moody and can snap at you about anything.

The mother yells a lot, is very angry and upset one moment and the next, she's all happy and relaxed. Something can upset her one day and the next it doesn't. If she wants something from me, she's very manipulative. If I don't give her what she wants, she yells at me and tells me she wont give me xyz next time I ask.

The other day the cat came in with another cats' claw in his upper paw and I asked the mother to get it out while I held the cat (actually it was her suggestion). She couldn't get it out and the cat became very agitated and upset. Finally I calmed the cat and the mother told me to hold it down so she could try again (she was trying to pull out the other cat's talon with tweezers, but all she seemed to be pulling, was the cat's skin and upsetting him). I told her no, that we should just leave the cat for now, as her technique wasn't working and was only upsetting the cat. The mother didn't like that, told me that I just wanted everything my way and that I was so stubborn.

I took the cat to the family room, where he hid under the couch, because he was obviously upset and didn't want any put rough handling.

I had some cold chicken in the fridge, so I cut off a tiny bit and took it to him, putting my hand (with the chicken on it) under the couch to let him smell it and eat it. To try to cajole him out. He did eat it without swiping me. I went back to the kitchen to get some more meat, to try to use it to cajole the cat out from under the couch. The mother started yelling at me, telling me to stop putting meat under the couch (I wasn't doing that, the meat was on my hand and from there it went into the cat's mouth) and that what I was doing wouldn't work, that the cat wouldn't come out from the couch, that I was stupid and stubborn for doing it. So unnecessary and so wrong. The next thing I see, is the cat right next to me, waiting for the chicken I was going to feed him. He is a smart cat. The mother on the other hand, is such a bitch. She wants to force the cat to do what she wants and calls me stubborn for telling her to stop that and to let the cat come out of his own accord (or cajole him with food).

I just shake my head when I think about her and her comments. She always puts me down and says derogatory things about me, for no reason other than to make me feel bad. She just cannot stop putting me down. According to her, everything I do is totally wrong, I cant do anything right. Yet, that is not true. She just tries to make me feel that way with the mean and nasty things she says to me, so needlessly.

The mother tends to hide her nasty behaviours or be on her best behaviour when she is around other people she doesn't know well, or when she is around people she thinks she needs to impress. But, when she behaves as obnoxiously to people as she does to me (these are people she thinks she doesn't need to impress and doesn't care about), they do not like her one bit and tell me how sorry they feel for me that I have a mother like that. Yeah, don't I know it!

The volatility of my step-father rears its ugly head again

Just when I was having a reasonably quiet few days, without any outbursts of anger from the mental family, of course I should have known that it wouldn't last with these people.

I was just in my bedroom and I stepped out to go to the family room to get some water and my step-father was there, on my lounge suite, sitting on there with his perfumed jumper. I said to him, "you know you're supposed to take that jumper off and not sit on the lounge with it, you know how allergic I am."

My step-father takes that as an opportunity to start yelling at me, telling me he doesn't have to take anything off, it's his house, he can do what he wants to do. Then he proceeded to get up and started menacing me, like he wanted to hit me, all the while yelling at me, calling me a "bludger" "lazy", "always sick" and to "piss off".  Just the usual behaviour I get from him.

Then my step-father turns the TV off at the power point and takes the remote controls with him, telling me: "You're not going to watch the TV. So there." And then he wanted to try to put out the fire (in the fireplace), because I was standing there. He also said he was going to turn off the electricity so I couldn't watch anything or have access to the computer.

He is so irrational, that he doesn't realise when he's in his volatile rage that this will all affect him, because when I point it out, he tells me it wont. Yeah, sure it wont. If he turns off all the electricity and how is he going to see?

Then LayZ boy comes in to give his irrational commentary. He yelled at our mother: "If I was smoking marijuana in my room you'd kick me out, so you should kick her out too."  And then the denture-wearing illiterate ignoramus proceeded to tell me I am a "loser". Right. That is (a) such an irrational argument and (b) has absolutely no relevance whatsoever. What a completely ignorant fool he is.

After which, my mother tells me that "it's your fault your step-father got upset".

It's just irrational, illogical and unreasonable, as well as volatile and abusive the behaviour that that these people display, just about all the time.

This is my family. Great bunch they are huh? Not at all, unfortunately!

Sick sick family

I just went to the shops to return some oranges that had started to go mouldy, even though I only bought them two days ago and when I came back my mother was up and ready to pounce on me, yet again. When I was going out, I went to the kitchen to get the bag of oranges and she was just lying there on the couch, in the dark, like a lunatic. Not sleeping, just lying there, pissed off.

I had just gone to the bathroom to brush my teeth and left the key in the lock on my door, so my sick mother pounced on the key and took it, because she looks for any opportunity that she can humiliate me and try to control me.

I told her to give me back the key, that it didn't belong to her and it was my room and that I could call the police to let them know she stole it. She just wanted to argue with me, telling me that I could no longer use the car because I have to pay for the all the petrol to use it. Umm I already pay for petrol and many times I paid for petrol and my step-father didn't put a cent in and yet he drove it more than I did, but this week, he put petrol in and asked me for money and I told him not to put the petrol in that day, to wait till the next day when petrol was cheaper, but he wouldn't so I told him I wouldn't pay for it.

She just kept arguing with me, just talking nonsense. I told them that when I left here, I would not be contacting her. She kept telling me I would. I reminded her when I didn't live here before, I hardly ever contacted her, that she phoned me all the time. She kept telling me I was lying. Yeah, right, I was telling the truth, but according to her, it was a lie, because it didn't justify the crap she was telling me. Then she started spouting about how she came to visit me when I was sick and again, I told her that she called me all the time so if I was sick and in hospital, I told her and she couldn't keep herself away because she is a paranoid freak. That's about the only time she shows affection and concern, when she thinks she will lose me, otherwise it's the abusive behaviour and yelling at me non-stop.  And of course during this time, LayZ boy was giving his opinion from his room, as if any of this concerned him, when it doesn't. He's such a gigantic moronic fool.

So just to make my mother realise she cannot control me, she cant come into my room without my permission I put on a YouTube video of Lady Gaga's Telephone video, the extended version really loud. So loud, that it drowned her screaming voice. And of course, because the idiot LayZ boy has nothing to do with it, he piped in with his opinion, but the music cut out his voice too, so I didn't have to hear his idiocy either. She tried to get inside, but I kept the door locked by holding the handle in the locked position and as I was at an advantage, she couldn't get it.

Soon she tired of her arguing and trying to steal the key and left. She left the key on the door and so I turned off the music to. But not before I had to hear the idiot LayZ boy telling me, "turn off the music you fucking idiot".

The people in my so-called family are appalling, disgusting, poor excuses for human beings.

My family are so pissed off at me today

All morning my step-father could be heard yelling and slamming doors. My step-father and mother were arguing quite a lot. Couldn't hear my brother, but I am sure he was adding his viciousness to the argument whenever he could because that's his style.

When I came out of my bedroom, my mother was just pissed off at me.

I was in the kitchen and turned around slightly to see how had just come into the kitchen, because I needed to know how much I needed to brace myself for the abuse that would follow.

My mother said, in a very angry, bitter way, "why are you looking around? It's only me," as if she was offended that I turned around to see who came into the kitchen.

Then she started. In a very nasty, mean, derogatory way to talk at me:

"I don't know why you had to tell the police what goes on in this house."
Right, so because I told the truth and I had proof of the truth, she couldn't get her lies to be believed and she did not like that one bit.
"Look at you, all you do is sleep."
Again, I am still sick, still not 100% well, nose is totally blocked, cant smell, am still coughing a lot, feel very lethargic today, but of course she never gets concerned about me, because it's all about her!
This house is disgusting, so dusty and unclean. I'm (not we) breathing in this dust and dirt. It's just filthy and dirty.
So how is that my fault? Oh that's right, I was sick in bed for 10 days and they couldn't vacuum, therefore its my fault they couldn't vacuum because I was sick! Yes, so logical - not!
It's your fault your step-father's blood pressure rose last night - he could die and it'll be your fault
That came not just from my mother, but also from my brother. Right, so because he is volatile, has no impulse control, has a violent temper and wants to hit me, it's my fault? Of course it is. It's not his own responsibility to control his temper, it's my fault. And yeah, put the guilt trip on me and make it all about me yet again!  (I forgot to add this last point when I posted this before)

And on and on like that she kept talking.

I was toasting some fruit and nut bread and in order not to listen to her, I started coughing louder and walked out of the kitchen to take the water into my room, trying not to listen to her.

I came back and turned off the toaster and grabbed my toast and went to my room. But not before she yelled at me that I had to leave the house tomorrow at 10am so they could vacuum it. Because you see, they have a schedule to meet, they have to do it in the morning, otherwise they will explode in frustration! Such idiots.

I just ignored her the whole time. What is there to say? You cant reason with unreasonable people who just use you as their scapegoat to abuse.

I am in shock as I realise just how sick my mother is

I really cant believe my mother is this sick, to call the police and purposely lie to them about her own daughter, in order to sacrifice her!

Every time the police have come here, my mother tells them that I scream and yell for no reason and they don't know why and it's really hard for them to have to put up with a mentally unwell daughter. Then she tells me she didn't say anything to the police at all. Oh man, I cant believe my own mother would lie so outright like that to everyone, especially me.

It's just sickening.

I finally realised just how sick my mother is today when she again lied to the police when she called them, telling them that I was yelling and screaming and upsetting everyone. Again a lie. And when I told the police officer on the phone what really happened (ie the truth), my mother kept saying, "She's lying, she's lying".  My parents have two phones, so I took the other phone and spoke into it to give them the truth.

I just cant believe how far her lies and delusions go, but obviously very far indeed!

And if I didn't have the videotape evidence of my brother yelling abuse at me, my step-father trying to throw forks and books at me and my mother forcibly trying to grab my phone, with all three of them yelling at me, telling me I am sick and an idiot - then the three of them would have again lied to the police and told them I was yelling and screaming at them and they felt defenceless against me! That's just unbelievable how much all of them lie. Then they would have convinced the police that I was sick in the head (like they did the other times) and as the three of them stand united with the same story, it makes it believable, so the police think I am the issue. And that is totally not reality. Thank goodness this time I videotaped it all so that there was could be no confusion about what really happened. And that is why the police believed me and told me I needed to get the hell away from these people, as it wasn't safe for me here.

I simply cannot fathom how a mother can betray her daughter like this. It's just unbelievable that she would do anything to protect herself, her son and her partner and lie and betray me over and over again. It's simply disgusting!

More violence and abuse tonight

What a horrid evening I have had this evening!

Earlier tonight, the three of them (mother, step-father and brother) were having dinner and I was about to go to my bedroom to watch television when I heard the television was still on in LayZ boy's room. I went back into the kitchen to tell my mother and step-father that his television was on and that they seemed to have two rules - one for them and one for me. They yell and scream at me if I leave the TV on for just a moment while I go out of the room (of course I am coming back), but when it comes to them, they can leave a TV on for hours in another room and that's okay. They just told me to get lost.

So I went to my bedroom to get my mobile phone which has a good camera, to take a picture of the idiot brother LayZ boy and he just started yelling at me, calling me a "mental loser", so I started videotaping it all. My step-father then started going ballistic, as did my mother. My step-father tried to throw things at me, but my mother and brother LayZ boy stopped him (he had a knife at one point and was threatening to throw it at me and I was videotaping everything). My mother came towards me to try to take my phone away from me, as did my step-father. My brother kept threatening me, telling me that if he stood up and had to stop me videotaping, then there would be trouble. I kept videotaping everything they said and did - and they did a lot of vulgar, horrible stuff, threatening me non-stop. My mother grabbed my arm trying to get my phone away - I think I have bruises from the violent way she took hold of me, while she was yelling and screaming at me.

The three of them were like wild animals. Finally I caught them in their sick mental behaviour and they did not like it one bit. They kept saying I was sick in the head - yeah me, I don't think so! It's the three of them who are the mentally unwell ones. They just keep on with the violence and abuse and think I "asked for it".

These people are not normal. They act ballistic and mental because I took a photo of my brother and then videotaped his reaction. That was all it took for them to start abusing me!

The photo that I posted here is the one that caused all the problems with them. You cant even see my brother LayZ boy's face, so it's not like he is recognisable. They're just abusive, volatile, violent people who just want to treat me like shit and think it's okay to do so. They're just horrible!

My step-father is violent, volatile and sick in the head

There is really something wrong with my step-father's mental facilities. Seriously wrong.

Just after dinner, I quickly left the family room to go to the toilet and when I came back, he was taking my plate away, telling me how much of a "lazy bludger" I was for leaving my plate there. I told him I just went to the bathroom and was going to rinse my plate when I came back (less than a minute later), he still continued to call me a "lazy bludger". As if my presence back in the room less than a minute later was an insult to him, because it proved him wrong, but he didn't want to admit it! The idiot!

A short while after that, he started to wash the dishes. He then started complaining really loudly what a "lazy, son-of-a-bitch, dirty bludger" I was because he seemed to think I emptied the pan with the herbs I had used for steam inhalation into the sink. Of course I didn't do that, my mother did, but of course he wouldn't believe me when I told him I did not. And in any case, it's not something to get that upset about. He was acting like someone spilled their shit in the sink and he had to clean it up. It was just some wet herbs, for God's sake!

I went to the lounge room where my mother was and told her to tell him to stop accusing me of doing something I didn't do and to stop yelling at me, for no reason! She said she did it, but the idiot, obnoxious, volatile step-father wouldn't take her word and started yelling at me even more loudly, telling me that he was going to "watch me" from now, in case I threw herbs in the sink in future.

Of course it upset me, because he just continues to say really horrible things to me, saying that I am "good for nothing" and "lazy" and "shit" and just yelling at me. He then even started yelling at my mother too, telling her to "fuck off". He was upset that he was proved wrong and got even more mad that he was wrong for yelling at me, so he continued to yell at me more!

And he continued to yell, to no-one, because he was by himself in the kitchen, for over 1/2 an hour, complaining bitterly about everything. When my mother went in there to see what he was complaining about, one of the things was a bowl of cut up cabbage leaves (the end bits that I don't eat) that was going to the chickens in the morning, he was upset that it was on the sink because it was bothering him! And even when I coughed a few times from the other room, he started complaining about my coughing, as if I was putting it on or something when I am not yet recovered. What a foolish idiot he is!

He is getting more and more volatile and sick in the head.

All he ever does is yell, complain and yell some more. There is absolutely no reason for it. He is a sick man!

Step-father and mother angry and raging

The other morning my step-father and mother were having a very loud argument. This usually happens about once a week and it is because they are both stubborn and wont give in. My mother eventually gets her way because she rules this house, with an iron fist - what she says and how she says it goes here and he has to do what she wants otherwise she'll rage on him even more. Whenever he does anything contrary to what she wants, she goes off her head at him and that makes him upset and he gets angry and starts raging around the house, yelling and getting angry at me.

My mother has this insatiable need to control everyone and everything in her vicinity and if they don't obey, then she has something to say about it. Most people don't get to see this side of her, they only see the pleasant, amiable persona she decides to show them, but if she feels thwarted, they get to see this antagonistic, bullish self and they do not like it at all. There are quite a few people who give me the "you poor thing, she is your mother and eye-roll" when they realise who my mother is, because they have been subject to this side of her personality and they really don't like her, but because they don't know me, they don't say too much more than that.

Anyway, during their argument, my step-father started banging doors really loudly, started yelling really loudly and started swearing really loudly. Of course because he was upset, he didn't think about the fact that there are sick people who are still sleeping (me) and he closed the toilet door which is just off my bedroom really loudly and he had the fan on too. He doesn't really care about anyone else, as he is rather very selfish.

To top it off, my mother wont tell him to stop doing what he's doing, out of consideration for me sleeping and being sick needing the sleep, she'll upset and antagonise him more, telling him he's a no-good-for-nothing, lazy, layabout and she doesn't know why she married him and more words like that. He on the other hand starts telling her how lazy and good-for-nothing her children are and then she goes one to tell him that he knew she had children when he met her (we were young when they met, about 9 and 11 years old) and that if he didn't want to be here to just leave because she certainly doesn't need him in her life.

Needless to say, these arguments are not very nice and many times I have tried to stop them arguing by being impartial (not taking anyone's side), trying to get them to see each other's side and trying to get them to see reason. Usually it has worked as I know how to use the right words to diffuse the situation, but these days, I really cant be bothered - it is not my problem to solve, I am not responsible for their marriage resolutions.

When they have these arguments and either of them sees me - my step-father, because he is angry, will just say to me: "You lazy bludger, good-for-nothing, go back to bed and sleep" and my mother will just look at me with an angry face and if I say anything to her, she will just tell me off. It's better not to even approach either of them when they are in this type of mood.

Inevitably I am always blamed for their arguments - they both tell me that I am the cause of their argument. So again, neither of them take responsibility for their relationship and want to blame me, because I am there. Even when I am not living here, they still blame me!  Geez, when will these people learn how to behave like decent, normal human beings?