My family are so pissed off at me today

All morning my step-father could be heard yelling and slamming doors. My step-father and mother were arguing quite a lot. Couldn't hear my brother, but I am sure he was adding his viciousness to the argument whenever he could because that's his style.

When I came out of my bedroom, my mother was just pissed off at me.

I was in the kitchen and turned around slightly to see how had just come into the kitchen, because I needed to know how much I needed to brace myself for the abuse that would follow.

My mother said, in a very angry, bitter way, "why are you looking around? It's only me," as if she was offended that I turned around to see who came into the kitchen.

Then she started. In a very nasty, mean, derogatory way to talk at me:

"I don't know why you had to tell the police what goes on in this house."
Right, so because I told the truth and I had proof of the truth, she couldn't get her lies to be believed and she did not like that one bit.
"Look at you, all you do is sleep."
Again, I am still sick, still not 100% well, nose is totally blocked, cant smell, am still coughing a lot, feel very lethargic today, but of course she never gets concerned about me, because it's all about her!
This house is disgusting, so dusty and unclean. I'm (not we) breathing in this dust and dirt. It's just filthy and dirty.
So how is that my fault? Oh that's right, I was sick in bed for 10 days and they couldn't vacuum, therefore its my fault they couldn't vacuum because I was sick! Yes, so logical - not!
It's your fault your step-father's blood pressure rose last night - he could die and it'll be your fault
That came not just from my mother, but also from my brother. Right, so because he is volatile, has no impulse control, has a violent temper and wants to hit me, it's my fault? Of course it is. It's not his own responsibility to control his temper, it's my fault. And yeah, put the guilt trip on me and make it all about me yet again!  (I forgot to add this last point when I posted this before)

And on and on like that she kept talking.

I was toasting some fruit and nut bread and in order not to listen to her, I started coughing louder and walked out of the kitchen to take the water into my room, trying not to listen to her.

I came back and turned off the toaster and grabbed my toast and went to my room. But not before she yelled at me that I had to leave the house tomorrow at 10am so they could vacuum it. Because you see, they have a schedule to meet, they have to do it in the morning, otherwise they will explode in frustration! Such idiots.

I just ignored her the whole time. What is there to say? You cant reason with unreasonable people who just use you as their scapegoat to abuse.

My mother called the police to try to get me arrested

During the fight tonight, my mother called the police because she thought that she would tell them lies (yet again) and they would believe her, so that she could get me locked up or taken to the mental ward! What a freaking mother!

She didn't think that the video I took with all of them threatening me, yelling at me, trying to throw things at me and trying to forcibly take my phone from me would count for anything. She thought that she could lie like she normally did to the police and they would just believe her.

When she was on the phone to the police, she told them that I started yelling and screaming at them, going ballistic and crazy and she didn't know why. I then took the other handset and told the guy that it wasn't the case, that I took a photo of my brother, he went ballistic at me, then I videotaped his reaction and they all went ballistic at me - in other words, the truth! My mother kept interrupting me to say, "she's lying" and the guy obviously believed me because I told him I had videotape that I would show the officers of them all three abusing me.

Three police officers came here and one female officer came with me to the sun room to talk. I told her what happened and then another male officer came and I showed them the video tapes and they heard it all. This time the police believed me. I also told them that every time the police came here before, the three of them (mother, step-father, brother), all lied to the police and kept on saying that I was just crying and screaming at the for no reason, telling the police that I was nuts, lying through their teeth. The police officer understood, he said that it was reasonable that the police attending would believe the three of them against me, because I had no proof otherwise and there was three of them. But since this time I had proof, at least I could back up what I was saying, that it was them who were volatile, violent and abusive and that was the reason why I was crying.

The police officers told me that I needed to get away from this situation, that it wasn't healthy or safe for me, given that they saw the video of the idiot family I have. They also told me that if I needed to call them again, they would come.

They also said that normally people didn't videotape their families and I agreed, but he totally understood why I was doing it. I did tell them that after my brother attacked me last year and each subsequent visit by police officers was a situation of my family lying about what was going on, that I had to use the video to prove what was going on. He understood.

Thank God!

They will now write up at the police station, the outcome - me being abused and that it's the three of them who are the aggressive abusers - which means if they are called again, I can tell the police to look up this job and to watch the video so they can see it's them. They may even get arrested next time!

After the police left, my family were so upset that they got chastised by the police, that the video evidence was irrefutable proof that they were abusing me and that their lies didn't work this time. My brother and mother were angry and yelling in the kitchen about me, trying to devised other ways to "punish" me for letting the police know the truth, because their little plan to have me committed didn't work.

What an awful, horrendous family I have! What assholes they are!

Sneezing non-stop - allergy allert!

Last night I was sneezing non-stop.  I think I sneezed over a hundred times in the space of about an hour.  My nose and sinus passages are just so irritated and inflamed that I couldn't stop sneezing.

I felt so sick and so allergic, it was absolutely awful.  I had to blow my nose so many times.  It was really hard to get to sleep.  I was sneezing so loudly and so much, that I know I woke everyone up.  I know they all heard it.  It was so loud, it would be hard not to have heard me sneezing.

All the stress of this family is just getting to me so much.  I don't normally get allergies like this in summer, but I am now because of them.  I told them all the perfumes and other chemicals are making me very sick and this is the result, which is what I wanted to avoid. But of course, they all dismiss my concerns, telling me that it's all in my head, that there is nothing wrong with me.

My idiot brother LayZ boy upon hearing me go outside, follows me out there, then I walk back in, so he follows me to where I am in the kitchen (he's sprayed himself with perfume so that I can feel sick and sneeze).  I realise what he's done and walk out of the kitchen immediately and go back to my prison cell (my bedroom).

Then a few hours later, LayZ boy sprayed his perfume right next to my bedroom, so that when I walked outside, I would be assaulted by the strong perfume and it would also come into my room and I would feel sick and sneeze more, which of course is exactly what happened.  What an asshole!

So I put the air conditioner on to full blast to try to get rid of the smell, but all it did was to blow more of that perfume and dust under my door and make me sneeze some more.  Great.  Soon after, my step-father came home and growled at me, asking me why the air conditioner was on so high and when I told him about LayZ boy's perfume he started telling him off.  Of course my brother lied about it and said he didn't do anything.

At this point, I was going off my head crying and screaming as I had reached my limit with this idiocy and selfishness. I was screaming at my step-father, telling him that he needs to stop my brother doing this stuff on purpose to make me ill. That I have been sick these past few days and I don't need to continue to be sicker.

I just got so upset that I just started screaming and screaming and screaming in the bathroom and I think the whole street must have heard, because next thing I know, one of our neighbours came to the door.  I was so upset that I didn't even recognise him (I also had only seen him a few times, so I didn't really know him all that well anyway).

He talked to me and I told him all of the crap that my mother and step-father and brother do and he was compassionate enough to believe me.  So now their bullshit duplicity is being uncovered and their masks are coming off so that the whole street knows who they really are - abusive liars! 

The police then came as someone had called them.  One of them interviewed me then another one and the other was with my family.  My neighbour was still with me at the time, he was telling me to breathe and to calm down and that he understood that sometimes you just needed to let things out.  I think the police thought I was hysterical (which I probably was, but you know, it was understandable given what I have been through) and wanted me to go to the hospital to see someone to discuss my problems with mental health.

I am not very good at expressing myself articulately when I am emotional. I cant seem to make myself understood, I just cant articulate my feelings at all and because my mother and brother say exactly the same things (whatever my brother says, my mother back him and my father just says "yes yes") and they sound reasonable and believable because they are all saying the same thing: "Our daughter is not mentally stable, we don't do anything to hurt her in any way, but she just screams at us for no reason".  I can imagine that is what they would say to make out how "nice" they are and how they don't do anything wrong, it's all me.

The police finally left after reassuring me they would tell my family not to disturb me and to keep away from me.  One of the police officers even shook my hand (the one who didn't wear any perfume and who at first thought I wasn't allergic, but he soon saw that I was when I started reacting to the other officer's perfume/after shave).  I told the police as they were leaving, that the neighbours already thought we were a bit mad, now they would think we were totally crazy.  They did laugh.

Now I am alone in my room typing, without any hindrance.  Thank God!

The assault in Aug 09

In mid August, my brother assaulted me and my parents lied to the police to protect him, so that he wouldn't go to jail.

We were in the kitchen/family room (my mother, brother, me and my step-father) and I told my mother that I couldn't handle the perfume my brother insists on wearing, it makes me ill (I am allergic to everything and get sick with sinus and asthma symptoms if I am near anyone with strong perfumes, but these people cant seem to comprehend this).

I told my brother Lay-Z boy that he doesn't need to come into the kitchen when I am cooking something especially just after he has been smoking as the cigarettes make me feel very sick, physically. He responded in his usual abhorrent irresponsible manner "who cares what you think or want, go fuck yourself".

He poured himself a glass of milk and at this point I am getting itchy all over my face, nose, neck and cant breathe properly totally frustrated with their attitudes (him being the narcissist, my parents apathetic), so I just pushed his glass across the bench and it fell over the bench and onto the floor.

Then, my brother grabbed my by the lapel of my top and pushed me against the pantry cupboard - smacked my head and shoulders against it - and started telling me that he was going to "fucking kill" me. He has this really mental look in his eyes and was holding me there and I couldn't get out of his hold. I told him to let me go and leave me alone, I started to push against his hand to try to get him off me, but I was in a totally vulnerable position, pinned against the pantry cupboard. He is 6 foot tall, with some muscles and how am I, a 165cm female going to fight against that?  Impossible.

Then a few seconds later, he put his hands at my throat and started to again tell me he was going to "fucking kill" me! I was so scared for my life, I thought that that was it, he was going to strangle and kill me.

Meanwhile, my mother is next to him, trying to pull him off me, unsuccessfully and my step-father is watching from the other side of the breakfast bar, like he was watching an interesting show on TV!

I called the police. They came and a few interviewed my parents and brother who lied to the police. The police officer I got was so sympathetic and believed me when I told him exactly what happened, but there was nothing they could do as my family lied to protect my brother.  What a betrayal??  The police officer told me how he thought they seemed so blase and complacent about the whole ordeal, that it seemed like it was nothing to them.  Thank goodness I got such a decent, compassionate police officer.

I just cannot believe my own mother would lie to protect her son and betray her own daughter.  What a mother! But then again, what else should I expect from people who have abused me all my life?  I was stupid to think she would be honest.

I left their house to go up north the very next day because I didn't feel safe there.