The apartments I saw today were horrible

The first place I inspected, was so smelly (of some cheap, nasty cleaning products), it was completely over-run by boxes, furniture and the person who was living there didn't answer the door, she was pretending she wasn't home, but when her baby started crying, everyone heard it cry and she came out briefly. She opened the bedroom door while holding the crying baby swathed in a blanket in her arms, nodded her head at me and closed the door again.

The kitchen was so over-run with everything these people owned and was so messy too. The apartment was tiny, so no wonder it was so cheap. It was old, the fittings were old and there was nothing there that had any merit for me. I had to hold the cuff of my jacket (lucky it was fluffy) over my mouth, because between the strong smell of the apartment and the real estate agent's perfume, I was getting knocked out by the overpowering smell. Needless to say, I didn't stay there longer than maybe 20-30 seconds, at the most. Anther guy who came in at the same time as me, was equally unimpressed.

The next place, I had misgivings even before I went there and I was early. I debated on whether I should just forget about it as it looked really dodgy, old and ugly from the outside and there were really horrible flats just next to these ones.  I decided to stay, but I shouldn't have.

When the time came to view it, there was a girl waiting too, a student who asked me if I was waiting for the same apartment. She told me that somewhere near the vicinity of the apartment there was a horrible smell.

The real estate agent lead us up these dingy, concrete stairs to the first floor and the student and I just looked at each, like we knew it was going to be ugly and old inside.We were right. It was small, dingy, carpet was so old, as were the built-in cupboards. It was also smelly, with some strong, cheap perfumed cleaning chemical smell. The only nice thing about it was the kitchen, which was new-ish.

Again, I didn't stay longer than about 20-30 seconds and when I left, so did the student girl too. We both commented how old and smelly it was, so I am not the only one who cant tolerate such strongly perfumed noxious smells. While it makes me ill, it bothers others also and they certainly don't want to be around it.

That's two out of two apartments that were crap. I have more to see on Saturday.

The volatile emotions and behaviour of my family

Yesterday morning, my mother went ballistic at me, just after I woke up. What a nice way to be woken up? Someone yelling at you!

She was upset that I woke up late. She couldn't fathom the fact that I was sick the day before from her son using such strongly perfumed bathroom products (and in a girly-type smell) which produced an asthma-like cough in me, as well as a number of allergic symptoms, which she was witness to.

Today, she tells me that there is nothing wrong with me, that it's "all in your head". That is just infuriating. She really talks in such a ridiculous way sometimes.

Then she began to tell me that the things she and my step-father bought for me when I moved into my own place several years ago (even though I told her she didn't need to) was now a "loan" and they decided that they wanted them back. And that I had "nothing", which she knows is untrue. But again, just aimed to infuriate and upset me, because apparently she was upset and wanted to take it out on me, as she thinks she can.

I didn't stay there long, I left within about 15 minutes of this constant yelling at me, telling me I had to leave because they wanted to vacuum and as I cant be around vacuum cleaners due to my severe allergies (multiple chemical sensitivities and dust mite allergy, among allergies to other substances). Both my mother and step-father hate it that I have allergies because it means I can no longer be their slave and clean everything for them any more!

I stayed away for about six hours and when I came back, my mother's mood was normal. She told me that I could have the soup she made if I wanted to. I told her I had bought some prawns and was going to cook them for dinner.

Then, when I was in the kitchen/family room, my mother asked me if I could close the clasp on her chain. I asked her why didn't she ask her husband or her son and not the person (me) who she was bagging out terribly this morning. So she just laughed about that and cajoled me into doing it. Then she wanted to give me a kiss thanks. I told her to leave me alone, I didn't need a kiss on the cheek from her.

This constant variation in behaviour drives me crazy. I just don't know what to expect from them. They fly off the handle at the most innocuous things, yet then when they want something, they are so nice to me. Such users! They are just too volatile in their behaviour and I can never predict how they are going to behave from one minute to the next, so I stay away from them mostly, to try to prevent getting abused or attacked.

They simply have no ability to control their emotions or behave like normal people.

And today, again shows me that they are the problem, not me. My behaviour remains fairly constant, but it's theirs that is completely volatile and without any sense whatsoever!  What a family!