The volatile emotions and behaviour of my family

Yesterday morning, my mother went ballistic at me, just after I woke up. What a nice way to be woken up? Someone yelling at you!

She was upset that I woke up late. She couldn't fathom the fact that I was sick the day before from her son using such strongly perfumed bathroom products (and in a girly-type smell) which produced an asthma-like cough in me, as well as a number of allergic symptoms, which she was witness to.

Today, she tells me that there is nothing wrong with me, that it's "all in your head". That is just infuriating. She really talks in such a ridiculous way sometimes.

Then she began to tell me that the things she and my step-father bought for me when I moved into my own place several years ago (even though I told her she didn't need to) was now a "loan" and they decided that they wanted them back. And that I had "nothing", which she knows is untrue. But again, just aimed to infuriate and upset me, because apparently she was upset and wanted to take it out on me, as she thinks she can.

I didn't stay there long, I left within about 15 minutes of this constant yelling at me, telling me I had to leave because they wanted to vacuum and as I cant be around vacuum cleaners due to my severe allergies (multiple chemical sensitivities and dust mite allergy, among allergies to other substances). Both my mother and step-father hate it that I have allergies because it means I can no longer be their slave and clean everything for them any more!

I stayed away for about six hours and when I came back, my mother's mood was normal. She told me that I could have the soup she made if I wanted to. I told her I had bought some prawns and was going to cook them for dinner.

Then, when I was in the kitchen/family room, my mother asked me if I could close the clasp on her chain. I asked her why didn't she ask her husband or her son and not the person (me) who she was bagging out terribly this morning. So she just laughed about that and cajoled me into doing it. Then she wanted to give me a kiss thanks. I told her to leave me alone, I didn't need a kiss on the cheek from her.

This constant variation in behaviour drives me crazy. I just don't know what to expect from them. They fly off the handle at the most innocuous things, yet then when they want something, they are so nice to me. Such users! They are just too volatile in their behaviour and I can never predict how they are going to behave from one minute to the next, so I stay away from them mostly, to try to prevent getting abused or attacked.

They simply have no ability to control their emotions or behave like normal people.

And today, again shows me that they are the problem, not me. My behaviour remains fairly constant, but it's theirs that is completely volatile and without any sense whatsoever!  What a family!

Feeling a bit better after a nice, long sleep

Last night, I slept for about 10 hours, so obviously I needed the sleep to allow my body enough time to repair the damage that the allergic reaction I had yesterday caused.

I didn't cough so much today. The cough is still there and my lungs are still healing from that violent coughing attack I had yesterday because of LayZ boy's decided lack of consideration and showering himself in highly perfumed (and with girly-smelling perfume too) bathroom products, with the express purpose to make me ill.

Well he achieved his nefarious purpose, so I guess he was happy. And of course nothing happened, no consequences, just him and his mother lying by telling me it was his shaving cream and that he had to use it, as if he had not other options. Just more lies from the lying duo.

I called up about those rental properties and the one I thought would be good, as it was the cheapest, was gone, but I have the information about the viewing times for the other properties which are all in the next few days, starting with some tomorrow, that I shall view.

This family I have, not the kind of family that anyone would ever want to have. They are just so deluded to think I want to have any kind of relationship with them when I find my own place. I don't. I have wiped all their phone numbers from my phone and don't intend to contact them. I know my mother will try to contact me because she needs to feel that she isn't the bitch that she is and if I take her call, that will make her feel better about herself and her shitty behaviour and support of the idiot LayZ boy, but I wont give her that pleasure!

I cant wait to get out of this hell hole of a situation. I need to be away from this hypocrisy, abuse and violence so I can start to heal and live my better life!

Still feel really sick today

I woke up earlier this morning to take my antibiotics and then went back to sleep as I just didn't feel very well at all - my sinuses are hurting me, my head hurts, my lungs hurt, my throat hurts, my ears hurt and it all feels really congested in my upper respiratory area. I still felt dizzy and nauseous and weak.

I have the "asthmatic cough" again, which means the bronchitis has been triggered yet again by last night.

I was also feeling hot and cold last night - just a bit of a fever too.

I have an appointment with my regular doctor today, so I will explain all of this to him to try to get an appointment with an allergy specialist.

When I went into the family room in the morning to take my antibiotic (I have to take one every 8 hours for the tooth abscess), my mother and step-father were there, she was kneading some dough and he was sitting on a chair watching television. I took the antibiotic with some water and on my way out of the family room, my step-father goes to slap my backside as I am walking past time in a playful, angry way. He's so inappropriate. I got out quickly and he didn't touch me. But he acted like he was about to - with my mother in the room too. Sick sick sick people!

At the doctor's appointment, I told him all about my super strong allergies to everything, that I have been getting so sick lately with upper respiratory viral infections almost non-stop since the beginning of the year and that I just feel so tired all the time. He told me he could hear the congestion in my voice, so that was validating. He also referred me to an allergy specialist. I told him about my idiot family and their inability to understand that someone can get allergies as bad as me and that all this sickness I have been subjected to has all the worse since I cam back from the coast in late-November 2009 and had to live in the same house as all of the abusive family I have around me every day.

When I finished there, I had a bit of shopping I had to do and then I went home.

I prepared some food for dinner. My step-father was in the kitchen and then LayZ boy came into the kitchen as soon as he knew I was home. He has this weird obsessive need to be around me and antagonise me when he knows I am here. He then said to me, "loser, are you going to ask me to take off my jacket?" as his way of greeting. I just ignored him and held my nose while I was in the kitchen. I took my food into the lounge room, away from them, to be able to eat in peace and quiet.

After dinner I went to my bedroom, as the television in the lounge room isn't very clear, plus I wanted to turn my heater on and get warm. I turned on the computer for a short while and then I had to have a lie down - I was exhausted from doing the shopping, making dinner and eating it, that I had to sleep.

I fell asleep for about 1.5 hours and when I awoke, I felt completely exhausted but I forced myself to get up because if I kept sleeping, I would wake up in the early hours of the morning and wouldn't get back to sleep for ages and wreck my internal body clock even more.

It's now 10pm and my head still hurts, my sinuses hurt, I still feel dizzy and nauseous and lethargic and weak. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow!

The allergies rise again - should be living in a bubble

I am so allergic to everything, that it makes like difficult. Other people simply don't understand. And my family, they cant seem to understand the concept of severe allergies, like what I have.

Today my parents were out at their friends house and when they came home, I asked my mother to get changed out of their clothes because the perfume was starting to bother me - my head and my sinuses was starting to hurt.  Even thought she was standing about 2-3 metres away from me, the aroma was pervading the room already and starting to affect me.

The interesting thing is that my mother wasn't wearing any perfume herself, the aroma came from being in the same proximity, touching and kissing her friend and his wife, in just normal social interaction - shaking hands, hugging, kissing on the cheek hello and goodbye, probably touching their arm - and because their friends wear a great deal of deodorants and perfumes it pervades the air and everything they touch. So just being around them, some of it will rub off on other people. This wouldn't affect other people - just me!

After arguing with me about why certain things affect me more than others (I told her I cant control or predict what will affect me) they finally went to their room to get changed.  When my mother came back, I walked past her to get something and the aroma was so strong near where she was standing, that immediately my nose started itching and I started to cough with an asthmatic-type, dry cough. I told my mother that she should see the cause and effect of how allergic I am and instead of being sympathetic, my idiot step-father told me to "piss off out of here" and to "piss off to you room" and "you're good for nothing, you're always sick".  My mother, meanwhile, just stands there and lets him say whatever he wants to me, even as I was leaving left the room, he was still talking his crap. It's only when I have totally gone that he stopped.

Nice huh?

They are completely unsympathetic towards my illnesses. It's rather disconcertingly awful to be treated in this terrible way.  They simply (a) don't believe that I am that allergic and (b) cant understand how someone can be that allergic. Shows just how ignorant they are. And it of course makes me feel bad to be treated in this shitty, abusive way. Why would I even expect anything better from them?

What a family. No need for enemies when you have a family like this!

Just from that very brief exposure to the perfume my lungs still hurt, as do my sinuses, even though I am now in my bedroom, with the heater on and nowhere near them. I am so completely sensitive and allergic to almost everything - like the girl in the bubble!  This family of mine just doesn't seem to understand this at all!

It just upsets me that they would be so obnoxious to me, when I do everything right. I collected all their clothes from the clothes line and put them in the lounge to get dry (the sun is not very strong now so it takes ages for clothes to dry and if you collect them from the clothes line after 4.00pm, they feel a bit damp. I also closed up the chicken house, I washed all the dirty dishes and I even started the fire and so the house was nice and warm when they came home. But nothing I ever do is good enough for them. I could give them a million dollars (if I had it) and they would still complain and bitch about me to me and behind my back. They are just ridiculous people without any sense at all and they just take great pleasure in hurting and abusing me!