The volatile emotions and behaviour of my family

Yesterday morning, my mother went ballistic at me, just after I woke up. What a nice way to be woken up? Someone yelling at you!

She was upset that I woke up late. She couldn't fathom the fact that I was sick the day before from her son using such strongly perfumed bathroom products (and in a girly-type smell) which produced an asthma-like cough in me, as well as a number of allergic symptoms, which she was witness to.

Today, she tells me that there is nothing wrong with me, that it's "all in your head". That is just infuriating. She really talks in such a ridiculous way sometimes.

Then she began to tell me that the things she and my step-father bought for me when I moved into my own place several years ago (even though I told her she didn't need to) was now a "loan" and they decided that they wanted them back. And that I had "nothing", which she knows is untrue. But again, just aimed to infuriate and upset me, because apparently she was upset and wanted to take it out on me, as she thinks she can.

I didn't stay there long, I left within about 15 minutes of this constant yelling at me, telling me I had to leave because they wanted to vacuum and as I cant be around vacuum cleaners due to my severe allergies (multiple chemical sensitivities and dust mite allergy, among allergies to other substances). Both my mother and step-father hate it that I have allergies because it means I can no longer be their slave and clean everything for them any more!

I stayed away for about six hours and when I came back, my mother's mood was normal. She told me that I could have the soup she made if I wanted to. I told her I had bought some prawns and was going to cook them for dinner.

Then, when I was in the kitchen/family room, my mother asked me if I could close the clasp on her chain. I asked her why didn't she ask her husband or her son and not the person (me) who she was bagging out terribly this morning. So she just laughed about that and cajoled me into doing it. Then she wanted to give me a kiss thanks. I told her to leave me alone, I didn't need a kiss on the cheek from her.

This constant variation in behaviour drives me crazy. I just don't know what to expect from them. They fly off the handle at the most innocuous things, yet then when they want something, they are so nice to me. Such users! They are just too volatile in their behaviour and I can never predict how they are going to behave from one minute to the next, so I stay away from them mostly, to try to prevent getting abused or attacked.

They simply have no ability to control their emotions or behave like normal people.

And today, again shows me that they are the problem, not me. My behaviour remains fairly constant, but it's theirs that is completely volatile and without any sense whatsoever!  What a family!

Feeling a bit better after a nice, long sleep

Last night, I slept for about 10 hours, so obviously I needed the sleep to allow my body enough time to repair the damage that the allergic reaction I had yesterday caused.

I didn't cough so much today. The cough is still there and my lungs are still healing from that violent coughing attack I had yesterday because of LayZ boy's decided lack of consideration and showering himself in highly perfumed (and with girly-smelling perfume too) bathroom products, with the express purpose to make me ill.

Well he achieved his nefarious purpose, so I guess he was happy. And of course nothing happened, no consequences, just him and his mother lying by telling me it was his shaving cream and that he had to use it, as if he had not other options. Just more lies from the lying duo.

I called up about those rental properties and the one I thought would be good, as it was the cheapest, was gone, but I have the information about the viewing times for the other properties which are all in the next few days, starting with some tomorrow, that I shall view.

This family I have, not the kind of family that anyone would ever want to have. They are just so deluded to think I want to have any kind of relationship with them when I find my own place. I don't. I have wiped all their phone numbers from my phone and don't intend to contact them. I know my mother will try to contact me because she needs to feel that she isn't the bitch that she is and if I take her call, that will make her feel better about herself and her shitty behaviour and support of the idiot LayZ boy, but I wont give her that pleasure!

I cant wait to get out of this hell hole of a situation. I need to be away from this hypocrisy, abuse and violence so I can start to heal and live my better life!

I am so sick and so congested

Last night when I was exposed to LayZ boy's highly perfumed products (with girly, flowery perfume), I couldn't stop coughing non-stop for about 20 minutes, which is the reason why my diaphragm was convulsing in paroxysms and hurting me. Even the back of my tongue got sore, because I was coughing so violently.

My throat is so congested and my voice sounds so deep again, almost like I cant talk properly because the congestion has affection me bad - both from my lungs and also my sinus passages.  The cough is like the one that a person with asthma gets - very dry, very audible and very painful.  I felt so sick and terribly upset that he would do something like that on purpose and then tell me to "fuck off". What a brother huh? What a piece of shit, more like it.

The idiot LayZ boy knows not to use his stuff, because it makes me ill. So what happens, nothing. I just get really sick, he gets a free pass to continue to do what he wants and he is abusive to me in the process by telling me to "fuck off, this is my house too, I live here so I can do what I want". Yes, of course you can, you nasty vindictive piece of shit, when you know that it's going to make me ill.

He has been told that his perfumed products make me very sick, but he doesn't give a damn and in fact wears them more to hurt me more, because he knows it will make me ill as it is his prime object is to "get me" for whatever goes on in his deluded mind. That is one sick, psychopathic person he is.

Imagine having a family like this. Imagine them purposely doing whatever they can to hurt you - with their actions and their words. Imagine how you would feel to have this shit. Lucky I am a strong person who more fortitude than they think.

I am the one who is going to survive out of this and I will find my way out and I will be free of their terror.

LayZ boy bought even more perfumed products

LayZ boy wearing his sunglasses inside the house, the  lunatic that he is

This evening, because LayZ boy was feeling resentful of the fact that I was paying him absolutely no attention and just completing ignoring him for the main part, he decided to have a shower again, only 2 days after his last one - that is so unusual for him, as he normally does not shower very much, usually only once a month. And he purchased really strongly smelly, very highly perfumed with strong synthetic girlie perfumed soaps, shampoo and conditioner.

The smell was so strong, it pervaded through the house and even my volatile step-father told him that it was too strong.

So imagine that, he didn't like the smell, whereas I get adversely affected by it, even by just brief exposure, because I have multiple chemical sensitivities, so you can imagine what it did to me.

I was only in the hallway to go to the kitchen very briefly and because the odour was that strong, it made me cough so badly, that I was not only convulsing, but also dry retching, because my diaphragm was in paroxysms and hurting so much. My lungs started to get really tight, it hurt to breath and my nose, eyes and face got so itchy and everything was painful. I started getting such a runny, yet blocked nose, where so much mucous started to build up and while I blew out heaps of it in a tissues, there was still more.

I made myself a hot cup of spicy lentil soup (the spices were good for reducing the severe inflammation I was suffering) and just before that had some magnesium supplement, which helped to reduce the spasms in my diaphragm and lungs.

Then, I told my mother that her idiot son LayZ boy should not be using perfumed products like that because she could hear and see what it was doing to me, just being exposed to it very briefly. She told me that it was his aftershave (because that's what he told her and she knows it isn't, but she continues to lie to me) and when LayZ boy walked into the kitchen, he told me to "fuck off, I live here and can use whatever I want to use". What a fucking asshole piece of shit.

He couldn't handle the fact that for days now he's been using more perfumed products and while I have been telling him and his idiotic bitch of a mother about it, I have stayed mainly in my bedroom, so I haven't been affected by it so much. So, because I was singing yesterday and today and because LayZ boy is a vindictive, nasty, useless piece of shit, he decided he would try stronger perfumed stuff to really "get me".

I have to get out of here right as soon as I can. Their totally and blatant disrespect and abuse on all levels is too much to bear. I cant keep getting sick all the time because of those assholes. It's ridiculous that I have to be treated in such an obnoxious manner by people who are not good enough to wipe the dirt from my shoes!

Still feel really sick today

I woke up earlier this morning to take my antibiotics and then went back to sleep as I just didn't feel very well at all - my sinuses are hurting me, my head hurts, my lungs hurt, my throat hurts, my ears hurt and it all feels really congested in my upper respiratory area. I still felt dizzy and nauseous and weak.

I have the "asthmatic cough" again, which means the bronchitis has been triggered yet again by last night.

I was also feeling hot and cold last night - just a bit of a fever too.

I have an appointment with my regular doctor today, so I will explain all of this to him to try to get an appointment with an allergy specialist.

When I went into the family room in the morning to take my antibiotic (I have to take one every 8 hours for the tooth abscess), my mother and step-father were there, she was kneading some dough and he was sitting on a chair watching television. I took the antibiotic with some water and on my way out of the family room, my step-father goes to slap my backside as I am walking past time in a playful, angry way. He's so inappropriate. I got out quickly and he didn't touch me. But he acted like he was about to - with my mother in the room too. Sick sick sick people!

At the doctor's appointment, I told him all about my super strong allergies to everything, that I have been getting so sick lately with upper respiratory viral infections almost non-stop since the beginning of the year and that I just feel so tired all the time. He told me he could hear the congestion in my voice, so that was validating. He also referred me to an allergy specialist. I told him about my idiot family and their inability to understand that someone can get allergies as bad as me and that all this sickness I have been subjected to has all the worse since I cam back from the coast in late-November 2009 and had to live in the same house as all of the abusive family I have around me every day.

When I finished there, I had a bit of shopping I had to do and then I went home.

I prepared some food for dinner. My step-father was in the kitchen and then LayZ boy came into the kitchen as soon as he knew I was home. He has this weird obsessive need to be around me and antagonise me when he knows I am here. He then said to me, "loser, are you going to ask me to take off my jacket?" as his way of greeting. I just ignored him and held my nose while I was in the kitchen. I took my food into the lounge room, away from them, to be able to eat in peace and quiet.

After dinner I went to my bedroom, as the television in the lounge room isn't very clear, plus I wanted to turn my heater on and get warm. I turned on the computer for a short while and then I had to have a lie down - I was exhausted from doing the shopping, making dinner and eating it, that I had to sleep.

I fell asleep for about 1.5 hours and when I awoke, I felt completely exhausted but I forced myself to get up because if I kept sleeping, I would wake up in the early hours of the morning and wouldn't get back to sleep for ages and wreck my internal body clock even more.

It's now 10pm and my head still hurts, my sinuses hurt, I still feel dizzy and nauseous and lethargic and weak. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow!