I am so sick and so congested

Last night when I was exposed to LayZ boy's highly perfumed products (with girly, flowery perfume), I couldn't stop coughing non-stop for about 20 minutes, which is the reason why my diaphragm was convulsing in paroxysms and hurting me. Even the back of my tongue got sore, because I was coughing so violently.

My throat is so congested and my voice sounds so deep again, almost like I cant talk properly because the congestion has affection me bad - both from my lungs and also my sinus passages.  The cough is like the one that a person with asthma gets - very dry, very audible and very painful.  I felt so sick and terribly upset that he would do something like that on purpose and then tell me to "fuck off". What a brother huh? What a piece of shit, more like it.

The idiot LayZ boy knows not to use his stuff, because it makes me ill. So what happens, nothing. I just get really sick, he gets a free pass to continue to do what he wants and he is abusive to me in the process by telling me to "fuck off, this is my house too, I live here so I can do what I want". Yes, of course you can, you nasty vindictive piece of shit, when you know that it's going to make me ill.

He has been told that his perfumed products make me very sick, but he doesn't give a damn and in fact wears them more to hurt me more, because he knows it will make me ill as it is his prime object is to "get me" for whatever goes on in his deluded mind. That is one sick, psychopathic person he is.

Imagine having a family like this. Imagine them purposely doing whatever they can to hurt you - with their actions and their words. Imagine how you would feel to have this shit. Lucky I am a strong person who more fortitude than they think.

I am the one who is going to survive out of this and I will find my way out and I will be free of their terror.

Stayed right away from the nonsense family yesterday

Yesterday, I just stayed in my bedroom all day, other than toilet breaks and getting food, which I quickly brought back to my bedroom.

I have to really furtively open my door and go to the kitchen without making any noise, because if the stalker brother LayZ boy hears that I have gone to the kitchen, he immediately comes out of his room, to follow me in the kitchen.  He did that on one occasion this evening, but I managed to get out of there quickly before his highly perfumed self could affect me.

Earlier in the day, I stood outside in the backyard, near the doorway of the pergola, reading some advertisements that came in the mail and basking a bit in the nice sunshine - it was a sunny day today. It was so lovely to have the sun on my face and arms. It really made me feel good. I need to do that more often when LayZ boy is not around.

I was only there for about 5 minutes, because the idiot LayZ boy must have heard me turning the pages of the paper advertisements because at one point he opened his window to hear better and when he looked out, he must have thought he could see me, so he went to our parent's bedroom to have a better look (their bedroom looks out onto the pergola) and as soon as he saw me, out he came to have a cigarette right next to where I was standing. He didn't go to the toilet, which he does sometimes in their ensuite, he opened their bedroom door to have a look on the pergola to see if I was there.

Of course I moved back inside to my bedroom as soon as I heard him opening the screen door of the pergola, so it didn't affect me, but his stalker mentality is sickening and something I wish I didn't have to contend with at all.

I am just on such high alert every day, having to be alert for him coming anywhere near where I am, having to be furtive so that he cant hear me when I leave my bedroom, so that he doesn't follow me with his highly perfumed self or highly perfumed and strongly cigarette smoke self.  It's an awful way to live your life, it's awful to have mentally ill family members who are vindictive and psychopathic and other members covering for them, pretending that they are indeed normal when they are so obviously not.

LayZ boy the malicious idiotic defrauder

When LayZ boy was still living with his wife, he tried to fraudulently get a credit card under her name, but he got caught out when they called her. The idiot gave them his home phone number (maybe it was a requirement) and when she picked up the phone, they asked her about the application, she, of course, had no clue, cancelled it and totally chewed him out for trying to defraud her. He has already applied for bankruptcy on two occasions - he served the waiting period of the first one, then got more credit and applied for bankruptcy again - he had racked up thousands of dollars in debt that he never paid back.

LayZ boy is going to the same thing to our parents. He's looking for a way to steal something from them. He's trying to get their tax file number and other details so that he can defraud them. And when he charges up a huge amount on a credit card, the responsibility will then go on them to pay it off and they're both on a low income, so they wont be able to and they may need to file or bankruptcy and may lose their house. I wouldn't put it past him to do this. He's a desperate person with no money, doesn't work, has a really bad credit rating and is morally bankrupt. He is always looking for a way to scam or steal something.

I am going to have to call one of their friends who I am friendly with, tell him about this incident and get him to talk some sense into our mother, because I am just knocking my head against a brick wall with her, she absolutely wont listen to me. Maybe he will be able to get through to her, make her see that she needs to do something about him before he steals something valuable from them.

LayZ boy went outside to have a cigarette and must have been trying to think of his next move to hurt and antagonise me because he was out there a lot longer than he normally stays out there. When he came back in, he went to the toilet (which is right adjacent to my bedroom, so I hear every noise that goes on in there - yeah, not nice, when he's in there grunting and grunting on purpose like he loves to do) and he flushed it with the side that doesn't work. He knows it doesn't work as he only ever flushes with the side that does flush, so he did it on purpose because when you use the side that doesn't work, it continues to spout water into the toilet non-stop like a continuous flush and of course the noise is irritating, which is why he did it, because of my close proximity to the toilet. Idiot.

I told my step-father when he came home from the pub this evening everything that happened and how LayZ boy swore to God and swore on his mother's name about a lie, so that means you cant believe or trust anything he says, as he has no respect for God, his mother or anyone and will lie about anything, any time.

For once he was in a normal, non-volatile mood and listened to me, shaking his head the more I told him about LayZ boy's deceit and vindictiveness, but he still lumps me in with LayZ boy, saying, "I don't know why you two are like this?" and I told him, "it's not me, it's LayZ boy, he's the one who is lying and behaving obnoxiously, so don't lump me in with him, I am not the one who is sick in the head like him". I also brought the continuously flushing toilet to his attention and let him know that LayZ boy did it on purpose. Step-father just shook his head and said that LayZ boy was an idiot for doing that and asked me if I turned it off. I told him I didn't because I wanted him to hear it. He said he would speak to LayZ boy tomorrow, but undoubtedly LayZ boy will tell him he forgot, which is, of course, a big fat lie! LayZ boy is such a manipulator and his parents play to his music.

LayZ boy is so sick in the head. LayZ boy is malicious and opportunistic, using any opportunity to scam people out of something any time he possibly can. He is a vindictive, deceitful, psychopathic lying piece of shit.

More nonsense

I think my mother is completely delusional, my brother LayZ boy is a narcissistic psychopath and my step-father is totally volatile. It is difficult for me to predict any of their behaviour with any degree of accuracy as they are all emotionally volatile and anything can set them off to spout angry words to me.

My brother LayZ boy used to say, when he was in his late teens that he read the story of Narcissus and he thought that that was exactly the same as him.  He also fell in love with himself when he looked at himself in the mirror and got lost in himself. Narcissus fell in love with himself when he saw his reflection in some water. He has always been in love with himself and has never done anything for anyone else that didn't benefit him in some way. 

In the past LayZ boy would beg me to borrow money and he would tell me that he would even give me interest if I didn't believe that he would genuinely return it within the week. Yes, I got fooled by this so many times. I would lend him money, he wouldn't return it - in fact he refused point blank to return it, telling me it was my own fault for lending him the money and he didn't have to give it back, or to ask my parents for the money. He is so totally selfish and has total disdain for anyone else. He wants, he gets and then he discards. Psychopath.  He is so good at manipulating and lying and he is so good that people really believe him, as he puts his heart and soul into selling himself to you.  Psychopathic liar.

My mother on the other hand, totally molly-coddles her narcissistic son. She wont let him pick up a dishcloth to wash any dishes, because it is beneath him to do anything. So he leaves dirty dishes in the sink every day and she washes them. She wont let him wash his own clothes, because again, it is beneath him to do that, so she washes his clothes, hangs them up to dry, folds them or irons them.  A 40 year old man whose mother does everything for him and excuses all his vileness as lovely quirks of his personality.  What an upstanding human being my brother, Lay-Z boy turned out to be!

It's really hard to accept this about these people, but they are not normal.  Even my step-father, in moments of clarity states that my brother is not normal and will probably die before he is 50 because of his drug addiction, smoking every day (with the lovely smoker's cough), not eating properly and not living normally.  When I tell my mother that even her husband thinks her son is not normal, her response? "Shut your mouth". Oh how lovely huh?  What a lovely thing to say.  She is so completely in denial about her son.

Oh yes, she tells him it's okay to smoke his cigarettes in his bedroom at night.  See how smart she is. He can fall asleep with a cigarette in his mouth/bed one day and set the whole house on fire.  What a nice thing for a mother to want for her son. 

She is such an enabler. She continues to enable his sick behaviour because she is also sick.  She does not know what it means to be normal and that's because she is not and neither is her son. In denial, both of them. So far in denial that they wont ever face the truth, never.

And they blame me because I flash a lovely mirror of reality up to them and they absolutely cannot handle it. They deflect, ignore, get angry or try to blame just so that I can "shut my mouth" about reality as neither of them is willing to face it.