Conflict resolution in process

I got a call from the people who do conflict resolution, to try to manage the issues that there exist in this house with the people who live here.

The person I spoke to said that given the circumstances, it didn't seem that viable that it would work that well, given that neither my mother, nor my brother LayZ boy have much self-awareness, which is something necessary for them to be able to understand that they are not treating me very well - it requires them to be able to see the repercussions of their behaviour and they don't seem to have (or want) those skills.

But, I decided to go ahead anyway, so they will send a letter to LayZ boy to ask him to see them for a screening prior to doing any conflict resolution meetings. They try to determine, with an initial meeting, if conflict resolution is (a) viable or (b) not viable. If it is viable, they go ahead with it, together with two other conflict resolution people in the room with us. If it isn't viable, they suggest other services that may help.

LayZ boy and my mother need counselling badly! They both have issues with their mental health that needs to be addressed.

I am so stuck I dont know what to do

I am totally stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's a total vicious circle.

I am not working at the moment, so it means my financial status is low. This makes it difficult to find appropriate accommodation.

I have severe allergies (multiple chemical sensitivities) and it means I cant be too close to anyone who is wearing strong perfumes or strongly perfumed personal care or cleaning products, because I react adversely to them (allergies, inability to breathe properly, sinusitis).

This means it is also difficult for me to find share accommodation, which while it is much cheaper than renting on my own, I cant get.

So, I am stuck in this crazy house with the lunatics, who are totally dismissive, abusive and obnoxious to me, feeling more and more helpless.

While I am here, in this house, while the abuse continues, it is difficult for me to do anything because they are constantly upsetting me and disturbing my emotional equilibrium most days.

It's difficult to function in this type of environment because it's so unbelievable negative and unhealthy. Nobody can function properly with that type of constant and negative pressure and stress in their life.

The problem with finding a suitable apartment

The Melbournian apartments

I have one huge problem with finding a suitable apartment - I am not working at the moment!  That is a huge detractor when landlords check out my application against those people who do work.

And while I know it's going to create a huge financial burden on me to rent an expensive apartment (well, anything over $150 a fortnight is going to be expensive), the alternative is worse for me - living in a house where I am constantly berated, abused, mocked and denigrated and am subjected to the occasional violent act (pushes and shoves), as well as the threat of violence against me and my possessions. Sometimes you have to just weight up the pros and cons and bit the bullet.

I can probably get some casual work somewhere, enough to pay the rent and have a bit more to pay for groceries and other essentials, while I try to find a more suitable job for myself.

I think my brother has some mental health issues

I definitely think my mother and brother have mental illnesses.

My brother LayZ boy has admitted that he has OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), although he will deny it vehemently if you question him about it another time. He's very weird in that way. He'll tell you the truth about something in a very small window of opportunity for the truth that he opens up every so often, but if you ask him about it later, he'll slam you and tell you that you are sick in the head for suggesting such a thing! As if he never said such a thing to you in the first place. I am not sure what that is about, but it sure is not normal behaviour.

LayZ boy is also very manic. He often gets all excited and starts doing all these manic things, like running up and down the hallway, banging on the walls, talking to himself (very loudly), talking to the cat (also very loudly) and very obnoxiously. During this manic phase, he starts talking fast, loudly and incoherently. In addition, there are so many times when he does all sorts of things around here, starts measuring for his "home stereo" locale and talks very loudly and rather incoherently to me about things that make no sense whatsoever, answering questions I have never even asked him and then telling me what a fool I am because I don't know of his plans. Yeah, sure, LayZ boy, you are not sick in the head!

Then LayZ boy has his down times, where he functions very slowly and acts like a sloth. He just sits in his bedroom and watches DVDs all day without eating properly or doing anything else but smoke his cigarettes and behaves like he is very depressed.

I am beginning to think LayZ boy has bipolar disorder, which is very consistent with the up and down and very inconsistent and extremely exaggerated ways he behaves.

LayZ boy also has very big problems with his anger - he has no impulse control, he gets angry very quickly and cant control it. I think that's because he has no ability to use rational and logical thinking - all of his thinking is very exaggerated and irrational, based probably on fear.

Then LayZ boy takes sleeping pills almost every night, to lull him into an artificial slumber and as these medications are very addictive and can produce depression and anger symptoms, then no wonder he behaves the way he does. Additionally, LayZ boy takes a very strong opioid medication (Oxycontin) which is akin to heroin for his "pain" and as that medication is addiction-causing and can cause depression, anger and a whole host of other negative emotions (due to the way it works on the neurotransmitters), no wonder LayZ behaves the way he does.  These medications just make worse the worst of his personality and cause his mental illness issues to get much much worse.

I used to always think my mother must have dropped him on his head really hard when he was a child and that is why he behaved the way he did. She probably did. Neither my mother nor LayZ boy will admit he has huge problems.

There is a mental problem with my mother and brother

Yesterday evening, when I stepped out of my bedroom to get a glass of water, my mother surreptitiously and furtively went in there to start looking for some drinking glasses she thinks I have secreted away in there. She is pissed off because her son does not have access to them and her prime objective in life is to ensure her son gets what he wants, at the expense of any civility with me.

She wouldn't get out of my room and started rifling through my things, to try to find these glasses. I told her I did not have them, but that does not seem to pacify her. She's obsessed about finding them and obsessively believes that I have them in my bedroom (I do not and tell her this). She stubbornly refuses to leave my room.

In order to get her to leave, because she wont, I turn up some music really loudly from my computer. She told me that would not make her leave and that she would continue to go through my possessions to find the glasses, laughs and started dancing. Insane!

If she was going to stay there and just be annoying, I would have continued with whatever I was doing online, but the fact that she was moving my things around, to look through my things, to find these mystery glasses was not sitting well with me - that was not something I was going to allow her to do.

I told her to get out of my room, that these were my possessions and she was not allowed, by law to be touching my things without my permission. I then told her I would call the police if she did not get out. She still refused.

Then the idiot LayZ boy came past to start screaming at me, telling me: "This is not your room", right, so my bedroom is now not my bedroom and my possessions are theirs huh? and "fuck off you fucking loser" as well as more nonsense like that. This was just before I turned up the music very loud, so soon after that, it drowned his voice and I no longer had to listen to his complete and utter ridiculous nonsense, which did not concern him in any case!

The only thing that worked to get my mother to move away was me taking photos of her. She finally got near my door and was tussling with me, trying to push me and stop me from closing my door. Finally I got my door closed, locked and put the heater right in front of it, so she could not come in. She continued to yell at me through the locked door and I told her to just "fuck off", which she replied with "fuck off" back to me. I knew there was no point in continuing the insanity with someone who has no rational thought so I turned up the music even louder, to totally drown out her screaming.

In the tussle between us (when she was trying to push open my door and I was trying to push it closed and get her out of there - how immature is she?), the handle hit the wall behind it and created a small hole in the wall. Of course my idiotic mother tells me "that's your fault there is a hole in your wall", not because she was pushing the door, trying to keep it open and fighting with me. Of course not, because that's too much personal responsibility for her to bear and she takes no responsibility for anything and blames everything on me! It's just awful to have to contend with this idiocy on a daily basis.

That episode of her insane obsessive behaviour with support from her equally insane son upset me a great deal, to the point of very frustrated tears.

The point to this is that it would not matter what it was, if she believes I have something of hers, even if I do not, she still pursues me and rifles through my possessions in the belief that I have hidden it somewhere, when I haven't. The same thing happened with her prescription glasses a few weeks ago - she accused me of "stealing" them from her bedroom when I did no such thing and then when she found them in a different area, she denied she accused me of anything and expressed her belief that I must have moved them anyway. Those are not the only cases of her doing this.

I don't know what's wrong with her, but something definitely is wrong with her and her son's mental facilities!