Allergy Queen of the World

Ernst, Rodolphe - The Perfume Maker

I havent posted in quite a while.

I have been busy with work, moving to a new place and trying to get my life together.

At the moment, it is spring time, therefore it is the time for major allergies for me. I am like the woman in the bubble who cannot be around anyone.

I am really allergic to a number of trees, bushes and grasses. Severely allergic that if I came into close contact with them, I would surely lapse into anaphylactic shock. Just being around the pollen is enough to create such allergic reactions in me.

From the red itchy eyes where no white is visible, to the itchy and blotchy face, to the blocked and itchy nose, to the headache and pain, to the inability to breathe, to the dry cough so bad that I almost start to convulse because I cannot cope with coughing so much.

I dont have asthma. I have severe allergies.

Now if that wasnt enough, but of course it's not. I have multiple-chemical allergies too.

Just being around any type of chemicals (cleaning or others with strong smells), perfumes, deodorants, body sprays, makeup, shampoo, conditioner, body or hand lotion - anything that has any type of chemicals / perfumes in them - I react in exactly the same way as if I am exposed to an allergen, but worse. My lungs cant cope with these strong smells and again I start coughing so badly to the point of convulsing and it hurts so much to breathe.

I cannot even be around anyone with a strongly smelling anything. Even if I cant smell it, if they have used anything I react.

Most of the time I dont like being around people because they dont seem to understand that I react this way. And they get offended thinking I am telling them that they smell bad or something. No! My immune system is hyperactive and is not functioning properly.

And to top it all off, no medication seems to work for me very well or at all. Even if the medicine does provide a little bit of relief, it also brings with it a number of side effects that require further medication, again which brings yet more side effects and the circle of never-ending inability to get better continues.

The only thing that helps even a little is some herbal medicine I have, together with vitamins and minerals for the immune system.

This year, my hay fever and other allergies seem to be the worst in a very long time and I have almost two months of it to go. And very little understanding or compassion from anyone, because they cant seem to understand that I am so badly affected and think I am making it up! Great! Like I would make up coughing so much that I convulse to the point it hurts my lungs and I cant breathe. Like I would make up my nose and face getting itchy.

I have been tested and the tests have confirmed my allergens exist - some worse than others.

I am so sick of being sick like this.

I have to find alternative accommodation immediately

Yesterday has shown me how flagrantly my brother LayZ boy defies anything anyone says to him and chooses to do things to make me ill. It has really shown me just how selfish and self-centre he is and how little regard he has for anyone else but himself. It also really cemented the idea that he is a mentally sick person, because only someone who was sick in the head would take pleasure out of hurting other people, especially family members. And it's shown me just how deluded his mother is and how far she is willing to go to protect him and sacrifice me, on all levels.

He has been told so many times that I have multiple chemical sensitivities and needs to use the soaps/shampoo/condition the rest of the family uses. These are expensive, organic and natural products which do not make me react, as they do not contain the synthetic perfumes and other chemicals that the regular products contain. But LayZ boy uses more perfumed products on purpose because he wants to make me ill, the ass wipe that he is. He is not a normal person.

So yesterday I realise that I cannot stay here any more. I have to leave as soon as possible. I cant be with these people any more. The sooner I sever all ties and stop speaking to them, the sooner they will realise how much the abusive shit they have been doing has hurt me.

I have told them that I wont be calling them after I leave here, no matter what. I don't want to have anything to do with them for a very long time, if ever. As far as I am concerned, I do not have any close relatives here and I don't want to associate with them.

Today I am calling up to see properties available for rent.

Even though I cant afford it, I cant afford to wait here and be in hell in the interim, while that accommodation agency finds a place, when there is a housing shortage and even though I am near the top of their list, I don't hold that much hope that I will get anything any time soon and certainly not for many months. I cannot live in this house, in this situation with these people for that long. I wont survive it. I need to move out within the next two weeks or sooner.

LayZ boy continues to use his highly perfumed products to make me ill

Yesterday LayZ boy had a shower - the first one in about a month. He's such a slob and doesn't shower very much at all, maybe once a month, if that.

This is the reason why he uses such highly perfumed products - to get rid of the stench of his dirty smell!

LayZ boy also goes to the bathroom, sunglasses on, cigarette in mouth, does his business, doesn't wash his hands and then immediately goes outside to smoke his cigarette with his dirty hands. He is a disgusting pig. Actually that's an insult to pigs, who are clean animals other than rolling around in sludge, they are clean, unlike LayZ boy who is filthy.

So when LayZ boy had the shower, he used his highly perfumed products - shampoo, conditioner, soap, face care products - and pranced all around the house, left the bathroom door open to infuse the whole house with it. And this is knowing full well how allergic I am and how sick I get when I get into contact with this stuff.

I told my mother that it was just abhorrent that he did this. She said nothing, of course, because she defends him. Instead she starts screaming at me, asking me how I can go to the shops when I am that allergic. I told her, that I do with great difficulty and I try to find the person to serve me that doesn't have any make-up on, as they are unlikely to be wearing anything to affect me. She became irrational and told me "everyone wears perfume". Yeah sure, you idiot, everyone does and you have proof of this because you go around smelling everyone. What a foolish, idiotic, irrational thing to say.

I got upset and told her that her son was a narcissist. She replied, "you are", when she doesn't even know what it means. She stood really close to me, like she was trying to being threatening to me. I then told her the story of Narcissus and that LayZ boy confirmed to me that that is who he identified with as soon as he read the story. Then LayZ boy telling me to "stop listening to him" when he is in his room, obviously because he looks in the mirror and tells himself how much he loves himself. As if I stand near his room to listen to his mental ramblings.

They both started yelling at me after that and I just told them that karma would ensure to get them both. They cant treat someone like shit and get away with it like that. No way.

Insane family who is so totally in denial about me

This family is sick in the head, all three of them - mother, step-father and brother - they simply cant handle anything that has to do with me.

They keep telling me that since I am sick with these allergies/sinus problems, I am a total burden on them, that they cant do what they want because I am here. That they cant have people over all the time like they want, because I get sick (bullshit, they still have people over with their perfumes and I get sick) and that "everyone knows I am allergic" (as if that is something to be ashamed about, like what the hell?) and that they cant paint the doors because I am here and that I need to get out of their house because they cant handle me here.

I am overwhelmed with their compassion and care. So overwhelmed that they have such compassion for my illness. Geez! What total obnoxiousness. They act like it's my fault I am sick, that its my fault I have allergies and that I can control them. So absolutely ignorant it's just unbelievable.

Every time I try to reason with them, it ends in an argument because my mother ignores me. She just keeps on doing what she's doing, pretending that I am not there, as if ignoring me will make me go away. She doesn't want to accept that her son does things on purpose to hurt me.

Last night he put on all these perfumed products and he did so this morning again, but hey, it doesn't affect any of them, so who cares that I am that allergic and I get sick. I am irrelevant to them.

Finally after crying to her, telling her to stop ignoring me, to take away his products and replace them with other stuff, she finally went to see LayZ boy and of course he denied using anything and of course she believes him. Of course, because obviously my symptoms are all in my head, of course. Of course, I haven't been officially diagnosed with severe allergy symptoms, of course my immune system is not on high alert every day, of course I am not sick, of course.

LayZ boy comes out and tells them that he didn't do anything. Yet he's lying again. Then he tells me to "fuck off" and that he can "do whatever he wants to do" that "I cant make him change anything" and again he tells me to "fuck off". This is all in my parents presence, but of course they say nothing to him, because as far as they are concerned he is allowed to be as obnoxious as he wants to be to me without any consequences for his vile actions. LayZ boy is so cut that his mother told him not to wear his products, so to antagonise me for her telling him this, he purposely puts every product he owns on his face and body - because he knows it will make me ill. How fucked up is that? And then he lies about it. But of course, that is okay. Who cares if I get sick. Definitely not any of them. Who cares that LayZ boy is a vindictive asshole who does thing on purpose to hurt me physically - who cares about that?

Bloody hell, these idiots make me so sick! Figuratively and literally!

Then the idiot step-father started his rant about how everything is my fault. That because I am sick with severe allergies he cant have people here, cant paint doors, cant do this, cant do that - as if my allergies restrict his life in some major way. He forgets to recognise that I wasn't here for months on end, that he could have painted whatever he wanted then, but he doesn't like the truth, he likes to blame and criticise me for everything because he cant be rational. He even moved towards me like he wanted to hit me. What a vile poor excuse for a human being.  They all are. Vile,selfish, poor excuses for human beings!  No need for enemies with a family like this. They are complete and utter assholes!

Violence, abuse and total denial abound

There really is something fundamentally wrong with the mental facilities of all the people in my immediate family - mother, step-father, brother - they do not ever behave like normal people.

I keep telling them I have multiple chemical sensitivities, which means I am allergic to just about everything and cannot tolerate synthetic perfumes/chemicals/cigarettes as my body reacts by making me have severe allergy symptoms, sinusitis, sore head, itchy nose, sore lungs and difficulty breathing.  I have been diagnosed with this condition, so it's not just me saying this without having an official medical diagnosis. But, their son continues to use his strongly perfumed body care and hair care products and tells me to "fuck off" and that he can use whatever he wants and I can just "fuck off" if I don't like it. What an obnoxious infantile idiot he is!

I beseech my parents about giving him alternative products, but they simply wont do anything much about it, when they know what I can/cant use.

Yesterday, again I told my mother she has to give LayZ boy some alternative things to use and not let him use his products and she said something to him (in a very off-handed way), as he was passing through the kitchen and again, he said, "I'll do and use whatever I want do do, she can just fuck off, the loser, fucking idiot". And then he left. What an imbecilic idiot he is huh?  So he knows this stuff makes me sick, but he gives not one iota for my health and then my parents wonder why I avoid him? Geez people, get your heads out of your asses and see reality for a moment!

And because LayZ boy was pissed off with his mother telling him anything about me, he decided to use his products (perfumes, after shave, face creams, whatever) again last night and come into the lounge room (where I was) and start waving around, to try to disperse it through the air to try to make me sick. What a vindictive prick!  I had to leave the lounge room immediately because it was making me ill, even though my nose is still blocked, it still affects me - that's how strong the odour was from his products and that is how sensitive I am.  What an asshole of a person LayZ boy is to purposely do this to make me ill. 

That is my family. And with this non-family I have, I certainly don't need enemies, because they are more than enough to hurt me.

My family have no compassion or sympathy for me

Yesterday was great for most of the day. I went out early in the morning as I wanted to get some shopping done and when I came home, no-one was home. It was so nice to be without any type of irritation or frustration from any of them.

Unfortunately that wasn't going to last all day, because they (my parents and brother, LayZ boy) would come home soon enough. But since I felt good, I cleaned up the kitchen and family room, set up the fireplace ready to be lit when it started getting colder later in the afternoon, early evening and I brought some wood to the balcony for later use.

When my my parents came home, I asked him if he noticed that I set up the fireplace and brought some wood. His response? "What did you do? Nothing." I don't know why I set myself up for his negativity like that. As if he would ever say anything nice to me to show he appreciates me and my efforts.

A short while after they came home, mum and step-father went to the pub for dinner and LayZ boy came home stomping through the house and into his bedroom, like he normally does.

When mum and step-father came home I quickly closed the family room doors while I asked them to "please take off your jackets before you come in here". My step-father responded with, "Why? Do we stink or something?" and my mother with, "What for, why should we have to take our jackets off to suit you." I replied with, "You know I am allergic to the perfumes at the pub on your clothes." I have talked to them about my allergies, how their clothes get imbued with the perfumes of the people around them at the pub and they agreed to get undressed into their normal clothes when they come home immediately, not in like two minutes, as they normally would. So I am not asking them for something so outlandish, just for them to do something a little earlier than they normally would. They agree and then they resent doing it, as if they are being asked to do something so difficult, when they are just being contrary because they don't believe I can be that allergic because they are so ignorant.

Soon after, my step-father came into the family room and told me off for leaving the doors closed (he was still angry). I just ignored him. About a minute later, LayZ boy came in and started yelling at me, telling me that I should not expect them to change their clothes, that this was their house and I wasn't allowed to make any rules and that I was a "loser". I told him to shut up and stop his nonsense. That of course inflamed our step-father who started yelling at LayZ boy for not ever cleaning up after himself, that he just took clean dishes and left his dirty dishes on the sink for someone else to wash and after LayZ boy left (he doesn't hang around to listen because he doesn't think he should do anything, so he just walks away, ignoring whatever anyone says to him) my step-father then started on me.

I was getting affected by their perfumes and so I was holding the cuff of my cardigan to my nose, so that I could breathe in there and not the perfume in the air which was making me itchy. Step-father went mental about that, telling me how dare I put my jumper to my nose so that I couldn't breathe the air in, that I was not allowed to watch television there, that I had to leave as soon as they came home because it's my fault if I got sick, he wasn't going to do anything to help me and then he turned off the television at the switch and was acting all threatening to me, my mother holding him back from hitting me.  I had to leave soon after and went to my room crying.

Soon after that, my nose started getting even more itchy and my sinuses at the front of my head hurts so much, plus I had pain in my ears and my throat started getting sore. I have an immediate reaction to perfumes like this all the time and the stress I get from their menacing, abusive, threatening words and action, just exacerbates it more. They make me feel like I ask for way too much when I ask them to try to be supportive and helpful to me.

My family is so abusive, ridiculous and totally ignorant!

It doesn't matter how many times I tell them how super allergic I am, it doesn't matter how many time they see my reaction to perfumes and other allergens, it doesn't matter how much I explain it to them - it means nothing, they continue to behave abominably to me in their totally dismissive, threatening, belligerent and obnoxious way with no regard to my health at all. They are just selfish people!

The allergies rise again - should be living in a bubble

I am so allergic to everything, that it makes like difficult. Other people simply don't understand. And my family, they cant seem to understand the concept of severe allergies, like what I have.

Today my parents were out at their friends house and when they came home, I asked my mother to get changed out of their clothes because the perfume was starting to bother me - my head and my sinuses was starting to hurt.  Even thought she was standing about 2-3 metres away from me, the aroma was pervading the room already and starting to affect me.

The interesting thing is that my mother wasn't wearing any perfume herself, the aroma came from being in the same proximity, touching and kissing her friend and his wife, in just normal social interaction - shaking hands, hugging, kissing on the cheek hello and goodbye, probably touching their arm - and because their friends wear a great deal of deodorants and perfumes it pervades the air and everything they touch. So just being around them, some of it will rub off on other people. This wouldn't affect other people - just me!

After arguing with me about why certain things affect me more than others (I told her I cant control or predict what will affect me) they finally went to their room to get changed.  When my mother came back, I walked past her to get something and the aroma was so strong near where she was standing, that immediately my nose started itching and I started to cough with an asthmatic-type, dry cough. I told my mother that she should see the cause and effect of how allergic I am and instead of being sympathetic, my idiot step-father told me to "piss off out of here" and to "piss off to you room" and "you're good for nothing, you're always sick".  My mother, meanwhile, just stands there and lets him say whatever he wants to me, even as I was leaving left the room, he was still talking his crap. It's only when I have totally gone that he stopped.

Nice huh?

They are completely unsympathetic towards my illnesses. It's rather disconcertingly awful to be treated in this terrible way.  They simply (a) don't believe that I am that allergic and (b) cant understand how someone can be that allergic. Shows just how ignorant they are. And it of course makes me feel bad to be treated in this shitty, abusive way. Why would I even expect anything better from them?

What a family. No need for enemies when you have a family like this!

Just from that very brief exposure to the perfume my lungs still hurt, as do my sinuses, even though I am now in my bedroom, with the heater on and nowhere near them. I am so completely sensitive and allergic to almost everything - like the girl in the bubble!  This family of mine just doesn't seem to understand this at all!

It just upsets me that they would be so obnoxious to me, when I do everything right. I collected all their clothes from the clothes line and put them in the lounge to get dry (the sun is not very strong now so it takes ages for clothes to dry and if you collect them from the clothes line after 4.00pm, they feel a bit damp. I also closed up the chicken house, I washed all the dirty dishes and I even started the fire and so the house was nice and warm when they came home. But nothing I ever do is good enough for them. I could give them a million dollars (if I had it) and they would still complain and bitch about me to me and behind my back. They are just ridiculous people without any sense at all and they just take great pleasure in hurting and abusing me!