LayZ boy is an irresponsible selfish thing

LayZ boy is a user.

LayZ boy uses everyone he comes into contact with.

If LayZ boy cannot use you, he doesn't have any time for you.

LayZ boy's parents never instilled in him any values of selflessness or responsibility, instead, they allowed him to get away with anything and everything he did. LayZ boy knew that no matter what he did, I would be blamed for it, because as elder child, he was my responsibility to maintain not theirs. So, if he was "naughty", it was never his fault, it was my fault, even when I was but a child. This of course gave LayZ boy the expectation that he would never have to be responsible for any of his behaviours.

LayZ boy's parents believed that as a male child, he did not have to be responsible for any housework ("a boy's hand should never touch a mop or a broom" - how ignorant) and that because he was just over a year younger than me, they also believed that LayZ boy should never have to be responsible for his actions, no matter what he did.

So now, LayZ boy does not know how to wash dishes (he tried once and his mother marvelled at it, like he had performed a miraculous deed, telling me how wondrous it was that he attempted it, once), LayZ boy does not know how to turn on an oven and he does not know how to use a washing machine either. If LayZ boy was not living with his parents, he would not survive very long.

LayZ boy's children come to visit their grandmother

After I came home today, my mother told me that my brother LayZ boy's children were coming over today after the older one finished work. She said that they were coming to see her and everyone. Sure. It's most likely their mother told them they should visit their grandmother, because the older one's 21st birthday is coming up soon and she wants to make sure their grandparents buy her something nice. LayZ boy's ex-wife is just as bad as him.

I told my mother that it wouldn't be a good idea for her to have to girls in the family room because they wear really strong perfumes, deodorants and body spray and the family room would reek of it all night. Sometimes the smell is there for days. My mother, of course contradicts me, tells me that she can have them in the sun room, because it's cold. I told her that she had a heater and as its a sun room, its a lot warmer than the inside of the house. She of course told me to shut up, that she wasn't going to do what I suggested.

The thing is, their strong perfume makes me ill - I get so allergic just being subjected to it for even a moment - and none of them care about this. To my mother, its more important to do the complete opposite of anything I ask for (nothing ever unreasonable), wilfully disregarding my health!

When the girls came, she had them in the family room, sitting on the  breakfast stools, but only for a short while.  Even she realised how strong their perfume was and how much it was bothering even her and that she wouldn't be able to handle it when they left and the aroma pervaded the room for hours afterwards.

So only after the girls had been there for about 5 minutes, she ushered them into the sun room.

It is just irritating that my mother just does not listen to anything I say even though I am invariably right in my suggestion or reasonable in what I have asked for. My mother always argues with me, tells me I am wrong, tells me she wont do anything to help me, that she considers her guests needs before mine (they have no needs, it's me that has the severe allergies) and is just wilfully antagonistic towards me.  But invariably, she realises she is wrong (but she wont ever admit it to me) and does exactly what I recommended in the first place.

It is so utterly galling that my mother argues with me so vehemently, tells me I am so wrong, then she does exactly what I suggested because it affects her. She doesn't care about me, she doesn't care that it affects me, she only cares that it affects her. My mother realised that she would have to open all the doors and windows and that still wouldn't get rid of the smell, that when she does that in the sun room, it takes hours for the smell to dissipate and because it is cold tonight, she couldn't bear to keep all the doors and windows open as that would make the house cold, but she could leave the windows open in the sun room and that wouldn't be a problem. So basically, because it was going to affect her, she movies the girls to the sun room and not because of any concern about my health. My mother, like the rest of my immediately family, is so completely selfish!

My family have no compassion or sympathy for me

Yesterday was great for most of the day. I went out early in the morning as I wanted to get some shopping done and when I came home, no-one was home. It was so nice to be without any type of irritation or frustration from any of them.

Unfortunately that wasn't going to last all day, because they (my parents and brother, LayZ boy) would come home soon enough. But since I felt good, I cleaned up the kitchen and family room, set up the fireplace ready to be lit when it started getting colder later in the afternoon, early evening and I brought some wood to the balcony for later use.

When my my parents came home, I asked him if he noticed that I set up the fireplace and brought some wood. His response? "What did you do? Nothing." I don't know why I set myself up for his negativity like that. As if he would ever say anything nice to me to show he appreciates me and my efforts.

A short while after they came home, mum and step-father went to the pub for dinner and LayZ boy came home stomping through the house and into his bedroom, like he normally does.

When mum and step-father came home I quickly closed the family room doors while I asked them to "please take off your jackets before you come in here". My step-father responded with, "Why? Do we stink or something?" and my mother with, "What for, why should we have to take our jackets off to suit you." I replied with, "You know I am allergic to the perfumes at the pub on your clothes." I have talked to them about my allergies, how their clothes get imbued with the perfumes of the people around them at the pub and they agreed to get undressed into their normal clothes when they come home immediately, not in like two minutes, as they normally would. So I am not asking them for something so outlandish, just for them to do something a little earlier than they normally would. They agree and then they resent doing it, as if they are being asked to do something so difficult, when they are just being contrary because they don't believe I can be that allergic because they are so ignorant.

Soon after, my step-father came into the family room and told me off for leaving the doors closed (he was still angry). I just ignored him. About a minute later, LayZ boy came in and started yelling at me, telling me that I should not expect them to change their clothes, that this was their house and I wasn't allowed to make any rules and that I was a "loser". I told him to shut up and stop his nonsense. That of course inflamed our step-father who started yelling at LayZ boy for not ever cleaning up after himself, that he just took clean dishes and left his dirty dishes on the sink for someone else to wash and after LayZ boy left (he doesn't hang around to listen because he doesn't think he should do anything, so he just walks away, ignoring whatever anyone says to him) my step-father then started on me.

I was getting affected by their perfumes and so I was holding the cuff of my cardigan to my nose, so that I could breathe in there and not the perfume in the air which was making me itchy. Step-father went mental about that, telling me how dare I put my jumper to my nose so that I couldn't breathe the air in, that I was not allowed to watch television there, that I had to leave as soon as they came home because it's my fault if I got sick, he wasn't going to do anything to help me and then he turned off the television at the switch and was acting all threatening to me, my mother holding him back from hitting me.  I had to leave soon after and went to my room crying.

Soon after that, my nose started getting even more itchy and my sinuses at the front of my head hurts so much, plus I had pain in my ears and my throat started getting sore. I have an immediate reaction to perfumes like this all the time and the stress I get from their menacing, abusive, threatening words and action, just exacerbates it more. They make me feel like I ask for way too much when I ask them to try to be supportive and helpful to me.

My family is so abusive, ridiculous and totally ignorant!

It doesn't matter how many times I tell them how super allergic I am, it doesn't matter how many time they see my reaction to perfumes and other allergens, it doesn't matter how much I explain it to them - it means nothing, they continue to behave abominably to me in their totally dismissive, threatening, belligerent and obnoxious way with no regard to my health at all. They are just selfish people!

LayZ boy is really mental

There was a very interesting, but weird interaction between my brother, LayZ boy and my step-father this evening where my step-father was chastising my brother for not washing his glass after using it, expecting others to clean up after him and my brother just insisting that it is his right to make dishes dirty and not clean up after himself.

LayZ boy is just mental.

He just insists on what he wants and tells people; "you know that's what I do", like it is his divine right to be irresponsible and everyone must accept what he does and broach no argument about it irrespective of how it affects everyone else. It's his right to behave how he wants to, at the (usual) detriment of everyone else, as he considers no-one else's feelings but his own selfish ones!

My step-father was washing a few dishes (there were not many there - just a few plates and glasses, very minor) and then LayZ boy came into the kitchen to get himself his big glass that he uses for water. And this is the conversation that occurred:

Step-father: Hey, why are you taking a new glass when you should be washing out the glass you just used?
LayZ boy: You know I only use this glass. When one is dirty, I use the other one. (there are two of the glasses he likes to use)
Step-father: But you just made the other glass dirty, so why cant you just rinse it out and use it again?
LayZ boy: You know I only use this glass, it's the only glass I use. You know that.
Step-father: Yes, but you need to wash out the glass first so you can use it again, instead of making another one dirty that we have to wash.
LayZ boy: You know I only use this glass. When one is dirty, I use the other one that is clean. (said in a very mentally deluded way, like it is his right not only not to wash any dishes, but to make as many glasses dirty as possible)
Step-father: You are such a lazy bludger, you don't do anything. So lazy, you don't clean up after yourself.
LayZ boy: What are you talking about, I am just using the glass I always use and you know that.

And after that LayZ boy left the kitchen and my step-father, because I was in the vicinity, starts going off about how LayZ boy is so lazy and doesn't do anything and neither do, because I am equally lazy . Yeah, right, I don't think so - he just likes to bitch about me when he's complaining about LayZ boy and I don't know why, but he's always been that way!

LayZ boy, on the other hand is completely irresponsible and doesn't contribute an iota to washing dishes - whenever he uses any plates or cutlery, they are simply deposited on the sink for someone else to wash! And my step-father hates washing dishes - he always complains about having to do it when there are two women in the house! His attitude about women is so bad!

Step-father and mother angry and raging

The other morning my step-father and mother were having a very loud argument. This usually happens about once a week and it is because they are both stubborn and wont give in. My mother eventually gets her way because she rules this house, with an iron fist - what she says and how she says it goes here and he has to do what she wants otherwise she'll rage on him even more. Whenever he does anything contrary to what she wants, she goes off her head at him and that makes him upset and he gets angry and starts raging around the house, yelling and getting angry at me.

My mother has this insatiable need to control everyone and everything in her vicinity and if they don't obey, then she has something to say about it. Most people don't get to see this side of her, they only see the pleasant, amiable persona she decides to show them, but if she feels thwarted, they get to see this antagonistic, bullish self and they do not like it at all. There are quite a few people who give me the "you poor thing, she is your mother and eye-roll" when they realise who my mother is, because they have been subject to this side of her personality and they really don't like her, but because they don't know me, they don't say too much more than that.

Anyway, during their argument, my step-father started banging doors really loudly, started yelling really loudly and started swearing really loudly. Of course because he was upset, he didn't think about the fact that there are sick people who are still sleeping (me) and he closed the toilet door which is just off my bedroom really loudly and he had the fan on too. He doesn't really care about anyone else, as he is rather very selfish.

To top it off, my mother wont tell him to stop doing what he's doing, out of consideration for me sleeping and being sick needing the sleep, she'll upset and antagonise him more, telling him he's a no-good-for-nothing, lazy, layabout and she doesn't know why she married him and more words like that. He on the other hand starts telling her how lazy and good-for-nothing her children are and then she goes one to tell him that he knew she had children when he met her (we were young when they met, about 9 and 11 years old) and that if he didn't want to be here to just leave because she certainly doesn't need him in her life.

Needless to say, these arguments are not very nice and many times I have tried to stop them arguing by being impartial (not taking anyone's side), trying to get them to see each other's side and trying to get them to see reason. Usually it has worked as I know how to use the right words to diffuse the situation, but these days, I really cant be bothered - it is not my problem to solve, I am not responsible for their marriage resolutions.

When they have these arguments and either of them sees me - my step-father, because he is angry, will just say to me: "You lazy bludger, good-for-nothing, go back to bed and sleep" and my mother will just look at me with an angry face and if I say anything to her, she will just tell me off. It's better not to even approach either of them when they are in this type of mood.

Inevitably I am always blamed for their arguments - they both tell me that I am the cause of their argument. So again, neither of them take responsibility for their relationship and want to blame me, because I am there. Even when I am not living here, they still blame me!  Geez, when will these people learn how to behave like decent, normal human beings?