Some more of my mothers delusions

On two occasions recently my mother has suggested I take my brother for a drive somewhere and have a nice chat with him. She said it would be nice if we, brother and sister could spend some quality time together like that.

Each time she said it, I just looked at her in complete amazement that her delusions would make her say something as insane as that.It's unfathomable to me that she is so deep in her delusions that she cant seem to understand that ours is not a "happy family" and that it never has been and that something like that will not work.

The idiot brother of mine, when he sees me, either tells me "fuck off" or "you fucking loser" or he sticks up his finger to me and gives me "the bird", with his middle finger. And if I try to talk to him, he tells me to "get lost". That is the person I am supposed to talk to to try to ask him to come with my anywhere?  She is kidding!

Even when I have tried to be nice him in the recent past, by asking him if he wanted food or telling him I closed up the chicken pen, he just grunts at me from his closed bedroom door, but only after I knock many times because at first he does not even deign to respond. Oh yes, he is such a normal person and the "suggestion" my mother made is so feasible and sensible. Totally not!

I told my mother that first of all he wears strong perfume and I cant tolerate it in the house where doors are open, nevertheless in an enclosed space like the car, which will just make it hard for me to breathe and secondly, he is an obnoxious asshole who takes great pleasure in antagonising, hurting and insulting me every chance he can get. I then told her I didn't know what planet she was living on, but it wasn't planet reality. Each time I then walked out of the room where she decided to accost me with this "suggestion".

I just kept shaking my head at this major delusion of hers. She will not see the reality and that is the issue here. She is responsible for keeping him behaving the way he behaves because she does not set up any boundaries (never has) for him, she does not apply any consequences to his actions and she allows him to get away with basically anything he does. Then she lays the blame all on me for everything, she continues to defend him and that just makes him behave even worse because he knows he can get away with anything as she will protect him. I am in such an unenviable position here.

How dare she lay all the responsibility on me. How dare she try to make it all about me. How dare she try to make it look like if I just took him aside, that is all it would take to make him behave normally and of course that puts all the blame and onus on me!  She is some piece of work that mother of mine! And I refuse to buy into her mad delusions any more.

Step-father and mother angry and raging

The other morning my step-father and mother were having a very loud argument. This usually happens about once a week and it is because they are both stubborn and wont give in. My mother eventually gets her way because she rules this house, with an iron fist - what she says and how she says it goes here and he has to do what she wants otherwise she'll rage on him even more. Whenever he does anything contrary to what she wants, she goes off her head at him and that makes him upset and he gets angry and starts raging around the house, yelling and getting angry at me.

My mother has this insatiable need to control everyone and everything in her vicinity and if they don't obey, then she has something to say about it. Most people don't get to see this side of her, they only see the pleasant, amiable persona she decides to show them, but if she feels thwarted, they get to see this antagonistic, bullish self and they do not like it at all. There are quite a few people who give me the "you poor thing, she is your mother and eye-roll" when they realise who my mother is, because they have been subject to this side of her personality and they really don't like her, but because they don't know me, they don't say too much more than that.

Anyway, during their argument, my step-father started banging doors really loudly, started yelling really loudly and started swearing really loudly. Of course because he was upset, he didn't think about the fact that there are sick people who are still sleeping (me) and he closed the toilet door which is just off my bedroom really loudly and he had the fan on too. He doesn't really care about anyone else, as he is rather very selfish.

To top it off, my mother wont tell him to stop doing what he's doing, out of consideration for me sleeping and being sick needing the sleep, she'll upset and antagonise him more, telling him he's a no-good-for-nothing, lazy, layabout and she doesn't know why she married him and more words like that. He on the other hand starts telling her how lazy and good-for-nothing her children are and then she goes one to tell him that he knew she had children when he met her (we were young when they met, about 9 and 11 years old) and that if he didn't want to be here to just leave because she certainly doesn't need him in her life.

Needless to say, these arguments are not very nice and many times I have tried to stop them arguing by being impartial (not taking anyone's side), trying to get them to see each other's side and trying to get them to see reason. Usually it has worked as I know how to use the right words to diffuse the situation, but these days, I really cant be bothered - it is not my problem to solve, I am not responsible for their marriage resolutions.

When they have these arguments and either of them sees me - my step-father, because he is angry, will just say to me: "You lazy bludger, good-for-nothing, go back to bed and sleep" and my mother will just look at me with an angry face and if I say anything to her, she will just tell me off. It's better not to even approach either of them when they are in this type of mood.

Inevitably I am always blamed for their arguments - they both tell me that I am the cause of their argument. So again, neither of them take responsibility for their relationship and want to blame me, because I am there. Even when I am not living here, they still blame me!  Geez, when will these people learn how to behave like decent, normal human beings?