I am on high alert, so stressed every single day

With a family like mine, I certainly don't need any enemies - my family is enemy enough for me - they treat me worse than they would treat their worst nemesis.

Because they are so abusive and volatile every day, it just stresses me out endlessly.

Having the idiot brother who puts on his perfumed products and walks into the kitchen if he thinks I will be there, knowing that it will make me ill (yes I am that sensitive, unfortunately) or coming straight into the kitchen if when he's coming back inside from having a cigarette, sees me in the kitchen, just to imbue the air with his stinky cigarette smoke, which also makes me allergic, using his perfumed products in the bathroom right next to my bedroom and leaving the bathroom door open and my step-father's volatility and emotional as well as physical abuse, my brother LayZ boy's mental and physical abuse and my mother's bitchiness as well as her enabling their vile behaviour, well all of that, every day, just affects me so badly.

I have to worry about putting my clothes out on the clothes line, because LayZ boy loves to stand next to my clothes and blow smoke into them, so that they are imbued with the cigarette smoke and it affects me, by making me allergic when I put them near my face - this happened with my bed sheets. I was so allergic for a while because of his cigarette smoke imbuing the sheets and it was making me sneeze, get itchy, have a runny nose and find it difficult to breathe. Unfortunately for me, I am severely allergic at present, basically due to this intense stress I am under, so my allergies are critically bad.

I have multiple chemical sensitivities, which means I am allergic to basically just about everything. LayZ boy knows it and he on purpose does things to make me ill. What a disgusting, vile piece of shit he is.

Needless to say, I feel stressed and upset all the time. That isn't good for my immune system and that is why I have had this flu now still for almost four weeks and my voice still sounds congested and sinuses and lungs are sore.

Sinusitis is getting a little better again today

I have still got the sinusitis, but it is getting slowly better. My voice is still congested and sounds deep and husky, still. But, it is getting better, albeit very slowly.

I am taking the olive leaf extract three times a day and I think that is what is helping me. My blood tests showed that my white blood cells had increased a bit, so that is most likely due to the olive leaf extract, which while it tastes really awful, is actually really excellent for the immune system as it boosts the activity of the white blood cells to make them function better, as well as boosting the actual numbers of white blood cells

I am also taking the iron and will start on the vitamin D and calcium liquid supplement shortly too. While my calcium levels are not low, luckily, given that I am lactose intolerant and don't have much dairy, it probably would be good for me anyway, to have a bit more calcium in my body, to help my bones and body stay healthy. The last blood test showed I was a little deficient in vitamin D, so I do need to supplement that. I haven't been going outside much, the weather has been crap and I feel worse when I got outside, because the cold air adversely affects my sinuses.

When will my life get better?

Sinusitis is starting to get a little better today

I still haven't shaken off this flu. And I know, with the idiots I am living with, it's no wonder.

My voice is still congested, my sinuses are still blocked up and hurt, but at least my teeth have stopped hurting today. They were all hurting me quite badly the last 3-5 days, I think because of the sinus infection. Whenever there is a bad sinus infection, it can make the teeth hurt too, as their roots are near the sinus walls, so any inflammation in the sinus passages, can put pressure on the teeth roots and make everything just so painful. Plus, given the abscess I had on my top right molar, it just aggravated the pain and made it all hurt even more.

Today, I think because of all the olive leaf extract, echinacea and saline nasal spray I have been taking and using, the pain in my sinuses and teeth has settled down and not hurting any more. Thank goodness! Even the area around where the root of the molar with the abscess is not painful like before too - I can press on it without it hurting me real bad like before. There is some tenderness there, but not bad pain, as such.

I still feel really tired and lethargic and that is because I am still sick, but it is getting better, slowly. I made the appointment with the dentist to get the next part of the root canal completed. Great. Hopefully it should be as painless as the first appointment I had!

Idiotic, ignorant, stupid family that I have

These people who call themselves my family are beyond idiotic, beyond ignorant and beyond stupid.

They seem to think that because they cant smell something, therefore I cannot either and therefore, it's all my head, that I am not allergic to anything and I am lying. It is completely infuriating to deal with idiots like them.

I keep trying to reason with them, by telling them that they don't have severe allergies, they don't get sinusitis, they don't sneeze at dust, they don't have hay fever, like me, so how are they in a position to tell me what I can or cant be allergic to? They continue to deny that there is an issue.

They all know I have multiple chemical sensitivities, that I am highly allergic and cannot be around anyone with lots of perfumed products anywhere on their body because my immune system over-reacts and I get major allergic symptoms, which make me feel like shit. And I cant take conventional medicines because I get really bad side effects from them, so I am totally stuck feeling like crap because the idiots wont listen and respect my illness and show some compassion and kindness to me. I know, it's too much to ask for, from ignorant idiots like them.

It's my mother who is a total and utter bitch. My idiot brother LayZ boy does things to be vindictive and retaliatory, by spraying himself with every perfumed product he has and parading up and down the hallway, leaving his room open so the aroma can pervade the whole area (towards my bedroom) and she simple refuses point blank to recognise that he's doing things on purpose because he knows I will get sick and then she tells me she cannot smell anything, so therefore there is no smell. She's lying. And because of this, it gives that vindictive fucking asshole of a brother LayZ boy permission to keep doing it, because his mother wont do anything to stop him. And of course I just get sicker. God help me! And I am not even religious, but I need someone to help me!

I showed two of the videos of the night they were being abusive a week ago to this woman I know who owns a small store and she was absolutely shocked. She couldn't stop shaking her head and her mouth was totally agape, as she was shocked, beyond words. I have told her how horrible they are to me, but a video image of the actual situation is far more effective at showing the disgusting reality and is more shocking because of its intense abuse and violence. I said to her, "See what kind of family I have?" and she responded with, "It's not a family." No kidding! No-one should have to put up with he violent and abusive crap I have had to put up with, ever. It's totally and utterly disgusting!

The more people that see how disgusting my family, the more people that can see their vile behaviour, the better I will feel, because then they will know what kind of shit I have been subjected to all these years from the violent, volatile and abusive idiots!

LayZ boy continues to use his perfumed products to make me sick

The idiot brother LayZ boy continues to use his perfumed products and when I tell him and my parents that it is making me ill, they tell me that they cannot smell anything. No fucking kidding! I am severely allergic and highly sensitive that what people cant really smell affects me really adversely so irrespective of whether or not they can smell anything (they are not the sick ones with multiple chemical sensitivities), it still affects me.

So instead of compassion (did I really expect normal behaviour from abnormal people), they act all dismissive and start yelling at me, telling me to "get lost", "piss off", "fuck off" and that I just should go to my room and lock myself inside and stop being a burden to them. Yeah how nice of them to be so nice.

The lunatic LayZ boy has recently been told that he needs to stop using his products because they make me sick, so what does the fucking asshole do? He puts everything he owns that has a strong perfumed smell on him and parades around the house, so that if I am around, it can affect me. And of course immediately after being exposed, I start coughing in a convulsions, but according to them, I am just "pretending". What asshole, ignorant, imbeciles they are! As if someone would purposely start coughing in such a way that they are convulsing with and almost throwing up from the coughing if it wasn't because of a direct result from being exposed to the perfumed products.

No wonder I cant get better. No wonder this flu and sinus infection has been going on for three weeks now. No wonder my voice is still congested after three weeks. No bloody wonder with idiots like that who have no compassion, no sense and no understanding that happen to be around me and purposely do things to hurt me.

With a family like this, I sure don't need enemies at all.

Just cant shake this flu and sinus infection at all

I am still sick - 3 weeks after getting this flu, my voice is still congested, my nose is still blocked and infected, I am still coughing and I still feel lethargic and sleepy. It's annoying.

I have been taking olive leaf extract, which has known anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties and while it is helping, it doesn't seem to be enough because I still sound and feel sick.

I feel so sleepy every day. No matter how much I sleep, it feels like I haven't slept enough and I want to keep on sleeping some more.

In addition to this, the abscessed tooth which had the first root canal session is hurting a bit, probably due to the sinusitis infection being more prominent on the same side as the abscessed tooth. It probably means the abscess infection hasn't properly cleared up, but the problem with my sinus infection is that when I lie down flat so they can work on my teeth, because everything is very congested in the back of my throat/nose, it makes it very hard to breath and that will affect the dental work. The receptionist understood when I told her (she could hear my voice too, which was very congested) earlier this week, on Monday, that I was unable to have the dental appointment the next day. She said she would call me in about two weeks to see if I am feeling better and to try to re-schedule the appointment.

Right now, my head is so totally blocked up and hurting me, pain in the right side of my head where my frontal and maxillary sinuses are located.  And this idiotic, abusive family I have don't help much either.

I so wish I could win a huge amount of money on a Lottery and just get the heck away from them. I wish!

Insane family who is so totally in denial about me

This family is sick in the head, all three of them - mother, step-father and brother - they simply cant handle anything that has to do with me.

They keep telling me that since I am sick with these allergies/sinus problems, I am a total burden on them, that they cant do what they want because I am here. That they cant have people over all the time like they want, because I get sick (bullshit, they still have people over with their perfumes and I get sick) and that "everyone knows I am allergic" (as if that is something to be ashamed about, like what the hell?) and that they cant paint the doors because I am here and that I need to get out of their house because they cant handle me here.

I am overwhelmed with their compassion and care. So overwhelmed that they have such compassion for my illness. Geez! What total obnoxiousness. They act like it's my fault I am sick, that its my fault I have allergies and that I can control them. So absolutely ignorant it's just unbelievable.

Every time I try to reason with them, it ends in an argument because my mother ignores me. She just keeps on doing what she's doing, pretending that I am not there, as if ignoring me will make me go away. She doesn't want to accept that her son does things on purpose to hurt me.

Last night he put on all these perfumed products and he did so this morning again, but hey, it doesn't affect any of them, so who cares that I am that allergic and I get sick. I am irrelevant to them.

Finally after crying to her, telling her to stop ignoring me, to take away his products and replace them with other stuff, she finally went to see LayZ boy and of course he denied using anything and of course she believes him. Of course, because obviously my symptoms are all in my head, of course. Of course, I haven't been officially diagnosed with severe allergy symptoms, of course my immune system is not on high alert every day, of course I am not sick, of course.

LayZ boy comes out and tells them that he didn't do anything. Yet he's lying again. Then he tells me to "fuck off" and that he can "do whatever he wants to do" that "I cant make him change anything" and again he tells me to "fuck off". This is all in my parents presence, but of course they say nothing to him, because as far as they are concerned he is allowed to be as obnoxious as he wants to be to me without any consequences for his vile actions. LayZ boy is so cut that his mother told him not to wear his products, so to antagonise me for her telling him this, he purposely puts every product he owns on his face and body - because he knows it will make me ill. How fucked up is that? And then he lies about it. But of course, that is okay. Who cares if I get sick. Definitely not any of them. Who cares that LayZ boy is a vindictive asshole who does thing on purpose to hurt me physically - who cares about that?

Bloody hell, these idiots make me so sick! Figuratively and literally!

Then the idiot step-father started his rant about how everything is my fault. That because I am sick with severe allergies he cant have people here, cant paint doors, cant do this, cant do that - as if my allergies restrict his life in some major way. He forgets to recognise that I wasn't here for months on end, that he could have painted whatever he wanted then, but he doesn't like the truth, he likes to blame and criticise me for everything because he cant be rational. He even moved towards me like he wanted to hit me. What a vile poor excuse for a human being.  They all are. Vile,selfish, poor excuses for human beings!  No need for enemies with a family like this. They are complete and utter assholes!

Really bad, virulent flu infection is finally getting better

I have been feeling so sick since Saturday - that is just about a week of feeling so miserable and ill.

I got a really bad, virulent flu infection that had me laid down low in bed for the best part of this week!

The lovely flu virus (whatever strain it was) caused me to have: fever and chills, runny nose, inflamed sinuses (sinusitis), blocked sinuses, headache, sore throat, lethargy, cough, aching bones and muscles.

The coughing was so bad, my diaphragm started convulsing from the severity of the coughing. It almost felt like I couldn't breathe properly, because once I started coughing, I couldn't stop.

The coughing started on Wednesday night and I went to hospital, but after an hour and half of sitting in the waiting room, feeling worse by the minute, I decided to go home because while I was there, only three people had been called in and when I asked at reception, there were still three people ahead of me, so that meant it would take at least another hour and half of sitting there at least (so three hours in all) before I was even seen by the doctor. I couldn't wait that long any more. I decided to go home and take my chances - I would see a doctor the next day instead.

I saw a doctor on Thursday who told me that I had the flu, but now I had a cold. How does the flu virus suddenly morph into a cold virus? I thought that you had the flu and it got better after a week or so of bed rest, fluids, herbal tea and steam inhalation. Doctors! Some of them have no clue, whatsoever!

I felt very weak and lethargic driving to the doctors on Thursday, I didn't have much energy and felt like falling asleep while I was driving. I just wanted to close my eyes, but I didn't. After seeing the doctor, who told me my lungs were clear as was my throat (yet I was so sick), I went to the chemist to get some herbs and vitamins to treat my symptoms. I bought some olive leaf extract syrup (it has known and potent anti-viral properties), some cold and flu vitamins, as well as some honey and lemon lozenges to ease my sore throat.

In addition to this, I had been blowing the junk out of my nose every day, with my sinuses so totally inflamed and hurting, that even my upper teeth started hurting too!

My nasal passages are still inflamed and my voice still reflects the congestion in my upper and lower respiratory systems - it is so husky and deep, one week into having this flu, but at least after taking the supplements from Thursday, my symptoms have improved dramatically!  I went from not being able to sleep much, having lots of head and sinus pain, coughing as if I was about to cough up my lungs, to feeling a lot better.  I am not 100% recovered, but I am much better than I was yesterday morning, so if I continue taking these supplements, I should improve over the next few days.

I have a really bad flu infection

I have been feeling so sick the last few days. I have a really bad flu infection.

It started on Saturday and became worse on Sunday and today (Monday), I still feel totally sick.

My throat got so sore, my sinuses got so inflamed and infected, to the point my teeth are hurting me, I have a bit of a cough, my head really hurts, I have a fever, I feel totally lethargic and my bones hurt. All this yucky yellow and red (blood) stuff is coming out of my nose that I have to spit out in a tissue. It's so gross!

I was sleeping most of the day on Saturday and Sunday as well as today. I didn't do anything else but lay on the couch and watch TV, drifting into sleep every so often on the weekend. Today, I spent most of the day in bed with the heater on and the cat at the foot of my bed.

I was quite hot and feverish last night and I have sweated through my pyjamas today that I had to have a shower to feel clean again.

My head just hurts so bad and my energy levels are so low.

I just came online today to check email and check some other things, really quickly and write these posts, but now I am so exhausted. I feel like I have run a marathon! I need to go back to bed!

Very sore back muscles

The last 2-3 days I have had such sore back muscles around the middle of the back on the right hand side. So sore that I cant turn to my right without wincing in pain. I don't have full movement to my right and my whole right side feels very painful and sore.

My back is so sore that it hurts to breathe and sneezing, forget it! As soon as my lungs get filled up that much, it puts pressure on my back muscles and hurt so bad that mid-sneeze, my body gives up on it. This also means I cant breathe in too deeply because that also puts pressure on my back muscles and starts to hurt too.

The image here shows the exact muscle which is sore - serratus posterior. As you can see in the photo here, it attaches to the ribs at the back, which is why, when I breathe, it hurts. When you breathe in, your ribs expand to accommodate the expanding lungs and anything attached to the ribs also gets affected, so it hurts to breathe in.

It only really hurts when I try to do certain things that cause me to put pressure on that muscle, such as breathing in deeply, sneezing and even reaching around to my right hand side to do anything. Needless to say, I have been trying not to do the aforementioned, in order to prevent the pangs of pain. If I am just sitting there, not trying to breathe too deeply, it does not hurt much.

This happened because I had used several pillows and a v-shaped pillow to lie on so that my head could be elevated higher than my chest area, to help me breathe more easily, mainly due to the bronchitis, but also because of the pharyngitis, sinusitis and post-nasal drip.

During the night, while sleeping propped up on all these pillows, I must have twisted that particular back muscle somehow to cause the pain.  It happened a few weeks ago, due to the same reason (propped up pillows) and only dissipated when I started to do some stretching exercises.

I have been doing some stretching exercises today and yesterday to try to stretch that particular muscle (and surrounding muscles), to try to reduce the pain and make it better. It should be okay within the next few days, I think, as long as I continue the stretching exercises.

Feeling sick - middle ear infection, sinusitis

Today (Wednesday 17 February 2010) I have been feeling quite sick from a middle ear infection that hasn't cleared up - I have had it on and off for several weeks now, but it has just recently flared up again, where sometimes I get pain in my ears, but especially my left ear.  And now I have developed sinusitis too.  

My nose is dripping mucous, I've had to blow it every few minutes; my head hurt, especially the left side, which seems to be the most affected (the middle ear and sinus passages); my lungs hurt to breathe too deeply; I have a bit of a low grade fever and I feel exhausted!

I got the results of a recent blood test today:

• Iron levels - my iron levels are a bit low, but better than last time they were tested (this is because I have recently started taking a liquid iron formula which has enriched my blood with more iron), but still, those levels could be better, so I need to continue the iron
•  White blood cells - my white blood cells, while they are within the normal range, are just on the border of the lowest level considered healthy. This means my immune system is not good and no wonder I get sick all the time
•  Vitamin B12 - surprisingly (or maybe not), my vitamin B12 levels are higher than the mid range that is considered healthy, still within healthy levels, but well within healthy levels. I think it's probably because I have been eating lots of shallots lately, which are rich in vitamin B12 (as well as folate and vitamin K) that I have enriched my blood with this nutrient
•  Vitamin D3 - while my vitamin D3 levels were within the normal range, the level was in the lower percentile, close to the lowest levels considered healthy. This shouldn't surprise me, considering I haven't been out much lately, because I have been feeling sick.  The last time it was checked, it was in the mid-range, so this means I just need to get outside more every day, to get myself some sunshine

I had some green vegetable curry for dinner tonight, topped with lots of shallots and then later had a big shallot and tomato salad, which seems to have stemmed the flow of mucous quite a lot and has reduced some of the pain, but still, it has not all gone.  I need to sleep properly tonight to help my body repair and heal itself from this virus that has infected my middle ear and sinuses.  The pain!

I know it's the stress of my life here with the nutcase family which is making my immune system lowered and makes me so much more susceptible to getting these viral infections all the time.  But in the same manner, the illness makes me less able to do much, which makes it difficult to go anywhere and this decreases my confidence in myself and it's just a catch 22 situation, which I am finding difficult to remove myself.  

Time for me to go to bed, to give my body the rest it needs to help it heal.