The volatility of my step-father rears its ugly head again

Just when I was having a reasonably quiet few days, without any outbursts of anger from the mental family, of course I should have known that it wouldn't last with these people.

I was just in my bedroom and I stepped out to go to the family room to get some water and my step-father was there, on my lounge suite, sitting on there with his perfumed jumper. I said to him, "you know you're supposed to take that jumper off and not sit on the lounge with it, you know how allergic I am."

My step-father takes that as an opportunity to start yelling at me, telling me he doesn't have to take anything off, it's his house, he can do what he wants to do. Then he proceeded to get up and started menacing me, like he wanted to hit me, all the while yelling at me, calling me a "bludger" "lazy", "always sick" and to "piss off".  Just the usual behaviour I get from him.

Then my step-father turns the TV off at the power point and takes the remote controls with him, telling me: "You're not going to watch the TV. So there." And then he wanted to try to put out the fire (in the fireplace), because I was standing there. He also said he was going to turn off the electricity so I couldn't watch anything or have access to the computer.

He is so irrational, that he doesn't realise when he's in his volatile rage that this will all affect him, because when I point it out, he tells me it wont. Yeah, sure it wont. If he turns off all the electricity and how is he going to see?

Then LayZ boy comes in to give his irrational commentary. He yelled at our mother: "If I was smoking marijuana in my room you'd kick me out, so you should kick her out too."  And then the denture-wearing illiterate ignoramus proceeded to tell me I am a "loser". Right. That is (a) such an irrational argument and (b) has absolutely no relevance whatsoever. What a completely ignorant fool he is.

After which, my mother tells me that "it's your fault your step-father got upset".

It's just irrational, illogical and unreasonable, as well as volatile and abusive the behaviour that that these people display, just about all the time.

This is my family. Great bunch they are huh? Not at all, unfortunately!

LayZ boy continues to use his highly perfumed products to make me ill

Yesterday LayZ boy had a shower - the first one in about a month. He's such a slob and doesn't shower very much at all, maybe once a month, if that.

This is the reason why he uses such highly perfumed products - to get rid of the stench of his dirty smell!

LayZ boy also goes to the bathroom, sunglasses on, cigarette in mouth, does his business, doesn't wash his hands and then immediately goes outside to smoke his cigarette with his dirty hands. He is a disgusting pig. Actually that's an insult to pigs, who are clean animals other than rolling around in sludge, they are clean, unlike LayZ boy who is filthy.

So when LayZ boy had the shower, he used his highly perfumed products - shampoo, conditioner, soap, face care products - and pranced all around the house, left the bathroom door open to infuse the whole house with it. And this is knowing full well how allergic I am and how sick I get when I get into contact with this stuff.

I told my mother that it was just abhorrent that he did this. She said nothing, of course, because she defends him. Instead she starts screaming at me, asking me how I can go to the shops when I am that allergic. I told her, that I do with great difficulty and I try to find the person to serve me that doesn't have any make-up on, as they are unlikely to be wearing anything to affect me. She became irrational and told me "everyone wears perfume". Yeah sure, you idiot, everyone does and you have proof of this because you go around smelling everyone. What a foolish, idiotic, irrational thing to say.

I got upset and told her that her son was a narcissist. She replied, "you are", when she doesn't even know what it means. She stood really close to me, like she was trying to being threatening to me. I then told her the story of Narcissus and that LayZ boy confirmed to me that that is who he identified with as soon as he read the story. Then LayZ boy telling me to "stop listening to him" when he is in his room, obviously because he looks in the mirror and tells himself how much he loves himself. As if I stand near his room to listen to his mental ramblings.

They both started yelling at me after that and I just told them that karma would ensure to get them both. They cant treat someone like shit and get away with it like that. No way.

Unreasonable, irrational and illogical people

You simply cannot reason with unreasonable people.

You simply cannot use rational logic with irrational people.

Argument with my step-father today.

He's telling me that I have to let my mother control me, because this is her house, that I had to tell her everything about where I was going, what I was doing, give her details about everything I am doing and that I was a liar. Ha!  Always accusing me of lying, when it's them that lie to me all the time.  It's called projection, where a person projects their own behaviour onto other people, accuse others of doing what they in fact are doing, to deflect from their own behaviour and thank goodness I am now aware of it.  But it still hurts me nevertheless!

He then brought up the past and started asking me why did I used to run away from home when I was a young girl?

I told him it was because they used to hit and beat me up me all the time and I didn't want to be hit by them any more. He responded with: "Bullshit, no-one hit you" - yeah, because I was imagining all of that, of course.  And with a photographic, video-like memory that I have, I just imagined everything didn't I?  Sure!  What an idiot he is, just wants to take no responsibility for his actions, to pretend his is all clean and never did anything wrong.  Sure!

He then said: "Why did you run away when the police brought you home after they found you?" I told him it was because I was scared I was going to get hit by him and my mother. He again responded with: "Bullshit, no-one hit you".

Then I got a bit hysterical because again he was denying what he and my mother used to do to me - abuse me quite horribly. And I told him that they used to hit me for stupid things, like, for not doing the dishes the very second I was asked to do them or for doing something else (like my homework or singing or reading) and telling them I would do the dishes after I finished. Oh no, that was apparently a completely heinous thing for me to say, because the next thing I knew, they would start hitting me, not just with their hands, but with a big stick they had just for that purpose.

Now because he cant keep on refuting this, he started laughing and changed the subject.

Then he asked me why I used to "play up" when I was in my late teens and early 20's. To him, playing up means that I would come home in the wee hour of the morning and as far as he was concerned, that must have been because I was sleeping around with different guys. He cant fathom the thought that I was at the nightclubs till those early hours of the morning.

I told him that I wasn't at "private houses" as he termed it, that I was at nightclubs, dancing, talking and drinking.  That I had no reason to lie now (what for?) and that when I would come home, I would be reeking of cigarette smoke because they used to allow smoking in nightclub when I was clubbing. His response to all of this?  "Bullshit, you were playing around!" And I replied with, "Just because you would be sleeping around with lots of women if you were staying out late at night, doesn't mean I would be. I have no reason to lie about what I used to do years ago when I am old enough to admit it now if it was the truth." Again, he replied with: "You're a liar, you just keep on lying".

Idiot!  No sense, no reason and no rational thoughts to save himself!

I used to run away from home when I was younger, very frequently, because I had had enough of them hitting me every day with the big sticks, mentally abusing me and making me cry all the time.  Had enough of it!  Anything was better than the hell they put me through.  One time, when the police did find me, I was brought home and I think the police officers did believe me when I told them that I would get hit by my parents if I came home and that's why I ran away (I was 16 and fled to a friend's place) and the police officers drove me back to my parents place and told me to stay in the car while they talked to my parents.  I was shit scared because I knew they would beat me mercilessly after the police went away.  So, while the police were talking to my parents, I sneaked out of the car by opening the door and closing it very slowly and crouching down and running off down the road.  The car was parked on the kerb, near the house next door and they couldn't see me until it was too late.

When I used to go out to nightclubs, I would stay out all night (even sneak out sometimes) because the fantasy of the night clubs was awesome to me, I could lose myself in the music and the lights and pretend my life wasn't the hell it was.  Plus because there were guys there, I could get so much attention that I so badly needed from someone.  So I would stay out all night and come home very late.  My brother, who is 18 months younger than me, would do the same and it was okay for him to do so, even when he was under 18 (under the legal age) and he even brought home girls to stay in his bedroom with the door closed and that was okay.  I wasn't even allowed to talk on the phone to guys.  Inequality much?