You simply cannot use rational logic with irrational people.
Argument with my step-father today.
He's telling me that I have to let my mother control me, because this is her house, that I had to tell her everything about where I was going, what I was doing, give her details about everything I am doing and that I was a liar. Ha! Always accusing me of lying, when it's them that lie to me all the time. It's called projection, where a person projects their own behaviour onto other people, accuse others of doing what they in fact are doing, to deflect from their own behaviour and thank goodness I am now aware of it. But it still hurts me nevertheless!
He then brought up the past and started asking me why did I used to run away from home when I was a young girl?
I told him it was because they used to hit and beat me up me all the time and I didn't want to be hit by them any more. He responded with: "Bullshit, no-one hit you" - yeah, because I was imagining all of that, of course. And with a photographic, video-like memory that I have, I just imagined everything didn't I? Sure! What an idiot he is, just wants to take no responsibility for his actions, to pretend his is all clean and never did anything wrong. Sure!
He then said: "Why did you run away when the police brought you home after they found you?" I told him it was because I was scared I was going to get hit by him and my mother. He again responded with: "Bullshit, no-one hit you".
Then I got a bit hysterical because again he was denying what he and my mother used to do to me - abuse me quite horribly. And I told him that they used to hit me for stupid things, like, for not doing the dishes the very second I was asked to do them or for doing something else (like my homework or singing or reading) and telling them I would do the dishes after I finished. Oh no, that was apparently a completely heinous thing for me to say, because the next thing I knew, they would start hitting me, not just with their hands, but with a big stick they had just for that purpose.
Now because he cant keep on refuting this, he started laughing and changed the subject.
Then he asked me why I used to "play up" when I was in my late teens and early 20's. To him, playing up means that I would come home in the wee hour of the morning and as far as he was concerned, that must have been because I was sleeping around with different guys. He cant fathom the thought that I was at the nightclubs till those early hours of the morning.
I told him that I wasn't at "private houses" as he termed it, that I was at nightclubs, dancing, talking and drinking. That I had no reason to lie now (what for?) and that when I would come home, I would be reeking of cigarette smoke because they used to allow smoking in nightclub when I was clubbing. His response to all of this? "Bullshit, you were playing around!" And I replied with, "Just because you would be sleeping around with lots of women if you were staying out late at night, doesn't mean I would be. I have no reason to lie about what I used to do years ago when I am old enough to admit it now if it was the truth." Again, he replied with: "You're a liar, you just keep on lying".
Idiot! No sense, no reason and no rational thoughts to save himself!
I used to run away from home when I was younger, very frequently, because I had had enough of them hitting me every day with the big sticks, mentally abusing me and making me cry all the time. Had enough of it! Anything was better than the hell they put me through. One time, when the police did find me, I was brought home and I think the police officers did believe me when I told them that I would get hit by my parents if I came home and that's why I ran away (I was 16 and fled to a friend's place) and the police officers drove me back to my parents place and told me to stay in the car while they talked to my parents. I was shit scared because I knew they would beat me mercilessly after the police went away. So, while the police were talking to my parents, I sneaked out of the car by opening the door and closing it very slowly and crouching down and running off down the road. The car was parked on the kerb, near the house next door and they couldn't see me until it was too late.
When I used to go out to nightclubs, I would stay out all night (even sneak out sometimes) because the fantasy of the night clubs was awesome to me, I could lose myself in the music and the lights and pretend my life wasn't the hell it was. Plus because there were guys there, I could get so much attention that I so badly needed from someone. So I would stay out all night and come home very late. My brother, who is 18 months younger than me, would do the same and it was okay for him to do so, even when he was under 18 (under the legal age) and he even brought home girls to stay in his bedroom with the door closed and that was okay. I wasn't even allowed to talk on the phone to guys. Inequality much?
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