It takes so much energy and I am tired of it, literally and figuratively. I should know better, because this has been happening all my life, as if they are suddenly, magically going to stop!
Just a few minutes ago, my mother came to my room to tell me I had to take care of my brother, lay-Z boy because, get this, he's now started taking new medication which may cause severe side effects and if he presses his alarm buzzer, I have to take him to the hospital. She cant stay because she needs to go to the club to do some gambling on the poker machines! Right! How she can even think that she has any right to ask me is beyond insane, especially when she knows how antagonistic he is towards me. They are lunatics!
MY GOD! She is seriously insane!
And she comes to tell me this little tidbit, like it's perfectly normal that
- my brother needs someone to take care of him
- that the caretaker should be me, since I am at home
- that she does not think it's her responsibility
First of all. How is it my responsibility the medication he takes? And if she's so concerned, why isn't she there to take care of him? Oh right, her gambling takes first priority! And they expect me, the one who gets belittled and abused by my brother to suddenly want to take care of him? What is wrong with these people?
My brother is a total drama queen. He uses that drama to try to manipulate people into doing what he wants them to do. But maybe he overplayed his drama this time because even my mother is sick of it and doesn't want to stay here or she just doesn't believe him. My brother, the lay-Z boy.
Update: My mother actually stayed home because I told her I was not prepared to look after my brother and he scared her enough to make her think the worst. He's a great manipulator.
And of course my mother is thinking how selfish I am for not wanting to look out for my brother, the ones who taunts, abuses and assaults me. Yes, how selfish of me to try to outline some boundaries and limits, to try to assert some control in my existence away from their control. How terrible I am!
Update: My mother actually stayed home because I told her I was not prepared to look after my brother and he scared her enough to make her think the worst. He's a great manipulator.
And of course my mother is thinking how selfish I am for not wanting to look out for my brother, the ones who taunts, abuses and assaults me. Yes, how selfish of me to try to outline some boundaries and limits, to try to assert some control in my existence away from their control. How terrible I am!
It takes so much of my energy to deal with these people. Oh man, it is exhausting!
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