All my rights are reneged living here

I have absolutely no rights living here with them and especially with that idiot brother LayZ boy.

I have no right to have privacy. I have no right to have my own things without anyone touching them. I have no right to my boundaries. I have no rights to be left alone. And finally, I have no right to be upset if my rights or boundaries are violated. No rights at all.

Yesterday, my brother, the idiot LayZ boy took some of my vitamin tablets out of the cupboard without asking me, to demonstrate something to my step-father.  I got so upset, first of all that he took my things, secondly because he didn't ask me and thirdly because I got upset with him for taking my things, he just laughed at me and told me to "fuck off" and my step-father laughed too (he kept on laughing for a while and kept mocking me after that, many times and today too).

I was so upset and I know my reaction was exaggerated, but it's because that idiot LayZ boy has no right to touch my vitamin bottles without asking me. He has no rights to touch them at all, but he does, offers no excuse for me and I just have to take it because as far as he (and the others) are concerned, I have no rights in this house - whatever is here, is his to do what he wants. It is so incredibly frustrating and so immeasurably upsetting to have to deal with people like this.

I have been so upset these past few months with them and their distinct lack of empathy or consideration or respect for me. I just haven't written any more posts as I haven't had anything useful or productive to write about and I am sick of being a victim and being subjected to their abuse!

Expectations of some are unbelievable

The gall of them!

Earlier this evening my step-father told me I had to get up early tomorrow morning to let the chickens out of their hen house.  I just ignored him.

He also told me to wash the dishes, telling me it was my turn as he washed them the night before.  I did do the dishes, but I did ignore him anyway.

Later, my mother came into the family room, where I was laying on the couch, watching television (and this is when I was still feeling a bit sick) and she told me I had to get up early (6am) to let the chickens out of their hen house.  I asked her why she didn't ask my brother (LayZ boy) and she told me she thought that I could let the chickens out this week and he would do it next week.  In other words, she asked him, he told her he wouldn't do it and she had to resort to asking me. There is nothing wrong with him, he just didn't want to get up that early and she accepted it, but tried to force me to do what she wanted.

I told her that she had no right to ask me to do anything if I have no rights in this house, especially when we don't even talk and when none of them do anything for me (just to spite me) and that if she wants the hen house opened, she needs to ask her son because I will not do it.

She didn't have anything much to say after that because she knows she has no recourse - I am right in what I said - we don't talk, they do things on purpose to spite me and as if I will do them any favours when they treat me so abominably! No way.  My mother was pissed off, but there was nothing she could do about it.  She could get a taste of her own medicine - I will treat her as she treats me and if she doesn't like it, then too bad!

She and my step-father are on good terms with my brother (LayZ boy) and it is not my responsibility, nor is it my problem if he will not open the chicken pen for them (as they will be out early in the morning, so wont be able to do it).  He is her "golden child" and if he wont do what she asks him, it has nothing to do with me.  She doesn't hardly talk to me except to tell me off about something or have an argument with me.

Soon after this my step-father came in there and saw that the sink was clean and he asked my mother, "Who washed the dishes, was it you, or the daughter?"  He always talks about me to her as if I am not there, even when I am. She didn't answer him as she was still pissed off and after asking her again about the dishes, my step-father laughed and left the room.

Talk about hypocrisy.  She wont even let me use the car unless I pay for the insurance and registration (and it's not even my car), as well as the petrol (which is fine, as I use it occasionally so I don't mind paying for petrol, after all I am using it on occasion) and she took the keys from my handbag without my knowledge and has banned my step-father from lending me the car for any reason and after behaving this way, then she has the audacity to ask me to do her a favour?  I don't think so!  

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction and I will seek to draw the lines around my boundaries and limits, even if they try to push in and remove them.  I wont let them in.  I will have boundaries and I will set my limits and I will not allow them to push past them. I wont!

So tired of these lunatics

I am just so exhausted from arguing with these idiots. Or rather from them constantly arguing with me and from them constantly berating me and blaming me.  And from me having to constantly defend myself, every single day from their stupid lies and accusations.  It is simply exhausting.  

It takes so much energy and I am tired of it, literally and figuratively.  I should know better, because this has been happening all my life, as if they are suddenly, magically going to stop!

Just a few minutes ago, my mother came to my room to tell me I had to take care of my brother, lay-Z boy because, get this, he's now started taking new medication which may cause severe side effects and if he presses his alarm buzzer, I have to take him to the hospital.  She cant stay because she needs to go to the club to do some gambling on the poker machines!  Right! How she can even think that she has any right to ask me is beyond insane, especially when she knows how antagonistic he is towards me.  They are lunatics!

MY GOD!  She is seriously insane!

And she comes to tell me this little tidbit, like it's perfectly normal that 

• my brother needs someone to take care of him
• that the caretaker should be me, since I am at home
• that she does not think it's her responsibility

First of all. How is it my responsibility the medication he takes?  And if she's so concerned, why isn't she there to take care of him? Oh right, her gambling takes first priority!  And they expect me, the one who gets belittled and abused by my brother to suddenly want to take care of him?  What is wrong with these people?

My brother is a total drama queen.  He uses that drama to try to manipulate people into doing what he wants them to do.  But maybe he overplayed his drama this time because even my mother is sick of it and doesn't want to stay here or she just doesn't believe him.  My brother, the lay-Z boy.

Update: My mother actually stayed home because I told her I was not prepared to look after my brother and he scared her enough to make her think the worst.  He's a great manipulator. 

And of course my mother is thinking how selfish I am for  not wanting to look out for my brother, the ones who taunts, abuses and assaults me. Yes, how selfish of me to try to outline some boundaries and limits, to try to assert some control in my existence away from their control.  How terrible I am!

It takes so much of my energy to deal with these people. Oh man, it is exhausting!