Mother is resolutely in denial that her son is a vindictive person

The idiot LayZ boy walks up and down the hallway and starts whistling in this insane way, just to make sure I know he's walking past. He does it to try to annoy me, but I don't react to him, yet he still does it. In-fucking-sane!

His mother told him to stop whistling while he's in the house, that there's no need for it, yet he continued to do it. She told him again to stop. He responded with: "That's how I whistle". She didn't ask him why he was whistling, she told him she wanted him to stop it, but he wont listen because he knows there are no consequences to his actions.

And the whistling is a just a minor thing he does. When they're not home, he starts banging on the hallway walls, just on the other side of my bedroom, so I can hear him, just to try to annoy me. He starts running up and down the hallway, banging on the wall on the other side of my bedroom, like a total lunatic.  He does this to try to antagonise and upset me. And no matter how little I react (I don't even come out of my room - I either turn up the volume on the TV louder or do nothing), the nutcase continues to do it. He gets bored after a while, but it's like his vindictiveness and viciousness gives him energy to be a total lunatic!

Hi mother on the other hand, wont believe he does things on purpose to antagonise and upset me, so this gives him a free pass to continue it. And when she does say anything minor to him, he acts up even more (like a freaking 5 year old child) and she gives up, so he knows how to get around her so she stops saying anything to him. And because his mother wants to deny that he does anything on purpose and wants to deny he has major mental problems, she lets him get away with his obnoxious behaviour.

Idiots all of them!

My family lives in fear of everything

Another thing I realised about this family is that they live in fear and that is how they operate their lives. Every single thing they do, every action they take, every behaviour they chose, is based on their fear. Fear of everything.

They are so hypocritical and so unaware of their behaviours that when I put the mirror up in front of them, they cant handle it and get really angry with me, as it makes their fears almost unbearable for them.

My mother and her superstitions has a lot to answer for! My step-father and his volatile anger has a lot to answer for! My brother with his vicious vindictiveness has a lot to answer for!

Their fears have infected me too. It's such a struggle for me not to feel like certain things are possibly tainted to the point where I cant eat them.  I have realised it's just a fear based on my mother's insanity, telling me that things people gave me were cursed and could hurt me (and in fact, she would take away some of the things people gave me as gifts, because she believed that they would hurt to me even touch them), so of course I internalised that, as a young girl, into a fear of everything possibly hurting me, because if innocuous things from people (who were friends of the family) gifts  to me (ie clothes etc) could hurt me, then everything could, including food from people I didn't know!  So no wonder sometimes even now I get stressed about things I get from other people, thinking that they could contain some harmful thing and hurt me.

Jeez, it's so obvious now, more than ever what the source of all that has ailed me internally has been, but when I used to think these thoughts, I thought that there was something really wrong with me and I didn't know why I was having these thoughts.  It's just so obvious now where they came from isn't it?

My step-father just gets so angry so quickly - he's really volatile and growing up, I never knew when he would suddenly get upset, start yelling at me, making me feel scared and threatening to hit me (or actually hitting me).

My brother, has absolutely no boundaries - he does whatever he wants to do and doesn't give a damn about what anyone else wants or thinks because it doesn't concern him and doesn't affect him. He's so selfish and self-centred.

It makes me sick that I have been subjected to such crappy sickness from these people and then to add insult to injury, they blame me for everything. They refuse to take any responsibility for their actions, their words or behaviours, as if they did nothing wrong and I am the one who is wrong for ever bringing these things up.