Feeling sick to my stomach

Now after this altercation with mother, I just feel so deflated and sick to my stomach, literally.

I feel so ill, my stomach hurts so much. Crampy, nauseous pain. And I just feel like crying.

It's just demoralising to have to be subjected to this crap almost on a daily basis.

First both my mother and step-father yell at me, bang on my door and are rude, nasty and obnoxious earlier this evening and just before my mother again steals the key from my bedroom, yells at me and tries to control me.

These people are absolutely vile and disgusting, so no wonder I feel ill.

My stomach feels queasy, like I am going to throw up and my lungs hurt, so I am coughing again.

And I feel absolutely deflated, like the energy has been knocked out of me and I just feel like crying.

They are such awful, awful people! My family? Ha! I don't need a family like that. They are no family.

How the hell am I going to handle the idiots

How can I handle being around these people who treat me so poorly?  How can I reconcile myself to the fact that I have such a horrible, shitty family who take pleasure in seeing me in pain?

They are absolutely vile, disgusting people.

I want nothing to do with them.

But dammit it's just hard to find a way out.

I am not working because I am sick.

I have severe allergies and cannot be in an enclosed room with people wearing strong perfumes or perfumed skin/hair/body care products because they may me ill - I get an allergic reaction so bad and am sick for days. So being in a meeting room, even an interview with someone that is wearing strong perfumes is completely out for me. I have multiple chemical sensitivities, unfortunately.

And because I am not working, I am not getting a proper income, which means it's difficult to find anything affordable to rent. But not only that, I wouldn't even be approved for anything because I am not working and the money I get wouldn't even cover the weekly rent, so I wouldn't even be able to afford food, electricity, phone, Internet or public transport because I would be in debt each week.

I cant share with anyone, because I am so allergic that I couldn't handle being around anyone who uses any type of products - body/hair/face as well as cleaning/laundry products - because they would make me ill. 

It's just such a difficult situation I find myself in and meanwhile the idiotic, nonsense family become more idiotic and nonsensical.

I am still waiting for that agency to get back to me about affordable housing - you pay only 25% of the money you get, so that is basically not very much at all. But the issue is that the housing market is so tight and there are not enough houses for the people who are looking. So I wait, in absolute hell. It just sucks big time.

I need to win some major prize in a lottery. That would sort out a lot of my problems. I could afford any type of property, especially those holiday rentals or serviced apartments that don't care if you work or not. I'd have to tell them to use my own products to clean the place, not their toxic stuff and it would be all good. I could stay there for a few months until an appropriate place came up for me and I could move immediately. Then I would have no more abuse.