My family is mentally unwell - part 2: the brother

LayZ boy, the brother has a range of mental health issues.

LayZ boy is very vindictive and into punishing others for their alleged transgressions against him. He will bide his time, waiting for an opportunity to do something to hurt you, if he thinks he has the power to do so. And to me, he thinks he does, because his mother gives him permission to do so, by always encouraging him and always protecting him. Great.

LayZ boy has psychopathic tendencies.

I watched a documentary about a man who was being tested for being a psychopath and it was just like watching my brother in action. The guy on the doco kept on telling the people studying him that he was very much a narcissist (exactly what LayZ boy has said about himself on many an occasion), he was very paranoid (just like LayZ boy - if I repeat to LayZ boy what he has told me before about himself, LayZ boy accuses me of spying on him) and he was abusive and obnoxious, more so when he thought the cameras were not on and behaved more "normally"when the cameras were on (exactly like LayZ boy, who says and does the most obnoxious and aggressive things when I am not holding a camera but who then behaves like a model citizen when the cameras are on, or when other people are around).

The guy in the doco was also very manipulative and lied a lot (that is also like LayZ boy) and he had no qualms about hurting people (just like LayZ boy) and had very little feelings for anyone else (just like LayZ boy) and didn't think twice about using others (just like LayZ boy).

The other thing that has been happening lately, is that LayZ boy has become even more manic than usual, so I wonder if he also has bipolar disorder too, just like his mother. LayZ boy seems to go on these manic highs and depressive lows, alternating between them. I don't think he really knows what he's doing to some extent.

LayZ boy is very mentally unwell. A normal person would not behave this way.

So no wonder his mother cant see that LayZ boy is so mentally unwell - that is because she is too and is in such denial about her mental health issues, that if she acknowledges her son's mental illness, she has to acknowledge her own and she wont do that.

At least now I have some understanding why.

LayZ boy the dodgy user and scammer

LayZ boy is the type of person who will try to trick you you out of all your money and will take you for everything you're worth if he can and if you're stupid enough to allow it.

LayZ boy promises you the world and tries to convince you that he will give you everything and more than what you expect if you only give him (a) money, or (b) possessions, or (c) both money and possessions.

LayZ boy lies all the time. If LayZ boy's mouth is open, you know he's lying. He rarely if ever tells the truth.

LayZ boy asked people he didn't even know that well for numbers to Lotto at his uncle's wake last year, telling them that he wanted some fresh numbers from other people, not just from himself, because maybe their numbers would be the winning numbers (he is so deluded) and then proceeded to tell that if the lottery ticket won any money, he would share it with them. Yeah right! He would just lie to them. Bald faced lies. He would just tell them that he never won anything and give them nothing.

At the wake, LayZ boy was just trying to get some new numbers, thinking that if he got new numbers from other people, they would be for sure the winning numbers! So completely deluded. He then promises them the world for giving him their time and will never do what he says.

How unconscionable is that? Instead of having a nice meal at the wake and talking about his uncle, he instead starts trying to scam people for Lotto numbers. He even asked the priest who did the service for Lotto numbers too. I noticed the priest looked at LayZ boy like he was a lunatic for doing such a thing at a wake. He gave my brother the side-eye, like, "what the heck are you doing?"

It was just so wrong on so many levels. I am not even religious, but to me that was totally disrespectful. He was no conscience whatsoever.

A few years ago, he befriended one of my ex-boyfriends and used to borrow money from him, promising him he would return it with interest. Of course he never returned the money. Then he would ask my ex-boyfriend for more money, on top of what he already owed him. My ex went along with this for a while, thinking that if he gave him the money, it would teach LayZ boy some sort of lesson (yea sure, the only thing LayZ boy learnt was that my ex was a sucker). After a while, my ex stopped giving LayZ boy any more money and of course that meant LayZ boy stopped being friends with my ex, as he had nothing more to offer him. I don't think LayZ boy returned what he owed my ex. What a user.

You know, all I can say is that karma will get him. It already has because his ex-wife wont have anything to do with him and took everything from him and even his children don't see him other than for birthdays and Christmas. He has no relationship with his family who he was with for 20 years - they have almost completely disowned him and I think he will die alone, just like his own father.

Starting to trust my own gut instincts more

I have decided that I need to trust myself and my gut instincts a lot more than I have in the past, as my gut instinct never leads me astray.

The gut feeling is that sense where you know instinctively that something "feels" right or good for you, or it doesn't. It may be that the situation or person that your gut feeling is telling you about, is providing you clues about the status of your interaction (positive or negative for you), but because it's not anything definite or tangible, it can be sometimes difficult to justify following the gut feeling through. Of course, you learn afterwards, that the gut feeling was right, spot on and you know then (after the fact), that you never should have gone in that direction, or conversely, you should have gone in the direction. When you start to intellectualise what you're sensing in your gut feelings, it's never going to lead you in the right direction, because you'll then justify to and convince yourself that your intellect and rational thinking is more correct and besides which, if the gut feelings are telling you to stay away from someone or something you have invested yourself in, it's difficult to listen because you want the opposite to be true.

Every time I get a "gut feeling" about anything or anyone, it has always been 100% right and spot on. I have never had a gut feeling that was wrong. I have instead, felt the consequences when I have not followed through on my gut feeling. For example, I had a very strong gut feeling about an ex-boyfriend before I even met him, that he looked like a user, someone who would take total advantage of me. So what did I do? Of course I ignored that gut feeling and of course the guy turned out to be a total user who took total advantage of me and my good nature. He used me and then cast me aside like I didn't matter to him when things started to get too complicated. He was not prepared to have a serious relationship with me even before he got together with me, but still he pursued me and still I allowed it!

I have so many examples of where I didn't follow through with how my gut feeling was directing me, much to my later-felt chagrin. I have sometimes followed it, but it's been more of a haphazard application, not consistently. I now realise I must always go with my gut feeling to make sure that I am not led astray and am always following the right path, for myself (to make sure that I am happy)!