My family is mentally unwell - part 2: the brother

LayZ boy, the brother has a range of mental health issues.

LayZ boy is very vindictive and into punishing others for their alleged transgressions against him. He will bide his time, waiting for an opportunity to do something to hurt you, if he thinks he has the power to do so. And to me, he thinks he does, because his mother gives him permission to do so, by always encouraging him and always protecting him. Great.

LayZ boy has psychopathic tendencies.

I watched a documentary about a man who was being tested for being a psychopath and it was just like watching my brother in action. The guy on the doco kept on telling the people studying him that he was very much a narcissist (exactly what LayZ boy has said about himself on many an occasion), he was very paranoid (just like LayZ boy - if I repeat to LayZ boy what he has told me before about himself, LayZ boy accuses me of spying on him) and he was abusive and obnoxious, more so when he thought the cameras were not on and behaved more "normally"when the cameras were on (exactly like LayZ boy, who says and does the most obnoxious and aggressive things when I am not holding a camera but who then behaves like a model citizen when the cameras are on, or when other people are around).

The guy in the doco was also very manipulative and lied a lot (that is also like LayZ boy) and he had no qualms about hurting people (just like LayZ boy) and had very little feelings for anyone else (just like LayZ boy) and didn't think twice about using others (just like LayZ boy).

The other thing that has been happening lately, is that LayZ boy has become even more manic than usual, so I wonder if he also has bipolar disorder too, just like his mother. LayZ boy seems to go on these manic highs and depressive lows, alternating between them. I don't think he really knows what he's doing to some extent.

LayZ boy is very mentally unwell. A normal person would not behave this way.

So no wonder his mother cant see that LayZ boy is so mentally unwell - that is because she is too and is in such denial about her mental health issues, that if she acknowledges her son's mental illness, she has to acknowledge her own and she wont do that.

At least now I have some understanding why.

LayZ boy left all of his possessions with his soon-to-be ex-wife

LayZ is such a gigantic fool. He left all of his possessions with his ex-wife HoGirl, because he thinks he can cajole and manipulate her into taking him back.

He got a compensation payment about 2-3 years ago and as soon as he got that and bought her things she wanted (his soon-to-be ex-wife is just as much of an manipulator and liar as he is - you know the saying, birds of a feather, flock together and all that...) and as soon as she spent most of the money, or put it in her bank account (yes, they had separate bank accounts and he put his pay into her bank account each fortnight, he never saw his money, instead, he got an "allowance" from her) HoGirl started telling him he was no longer required in her life and kicked him out a few times, but always let him come back to her. She kicked him out in the past, but he always managed to wheedle his way back in and to get back together. This time though, I think she had someone on the side, so she no longer needed LayZ boy, which is why she hasn't taken him back yet.

Personally, I think she was waiting for his compensation payment to come through, spend all his money and then kick him out.  I predicted it from the moment he got his payment, that she would kick him out, divorce him and take everything.  And that is exactly what is happening! All their furniture, all their mutual possessions remain in their house and LayZ boy got nothing other than his clothes and a few other personal belongings of his own.

How dumb is he that he would not try to contest their possessions so that they can be divided properly? He still thinks that she is going to take him back, that his lying and manipulative behaviour will make her want him back. He, like his mother, is so deluded and doesn't want to know that she has someone else. HoGirl cant be by herself, she is another one who has emotional problems, she also lives totally in deluded land, lies as soon as she opens her mouth and is very fake and manipulative - perfect match for LayZ boy - but alas, they are to be together no more. I think there are only a few more months left in the official year of separation, after which she will undoubtedly file for divorce. I am so glad I never have to associate with that fake, lying, backstabbing HoGirl any more - every birthday and other holiday was a pain having to deal with her and her fake nastiness and dirty looks, then pretending she is all lightness and sweetness when other people were around. Ugh! Good riddance to her!

LayZ boy is a mummy's boy

My mother and brother have a really close relationship - they always have. It's because he is so good at lying and manipulating her to get what he wants and I am not (well actually I could be good at it but I refuse to engage in such base behaviours as I think they're beneath me).

My mother calls my brother to see how he is every single day, on his mobile. No matter how much he upsets and hurts me (and it is on purpose), she calls him to say hello and to see how he is because she wont believe he would ever antagonise me on purpose, she wont believe her son is that vindictive.

With me, it's a different matter. She is completely oblivious to me. I have to fall down and be unconscious for her to notice that something might be wrong with me! Even the other night when we went to the club for dinner and my face turned white and I told her I would go home because I couldn't breathe properly, she didn't even take any notice of what I said and started talking about how excited she was about the desserts they had at the club and left the table to get some! She is really thoughtless. And then she gets defensive and offended when I tell that she was didn't even notice that I couldn't breathe.

She has always been like that with me - very thoughtless. And besides which, LayZ boy has always been her favourite child.

LayZ boy calls his mother "mummy" whenever he is calling out for her at home. He sounds very much like a baby when he says that, as he says it several times when he's calling out to her. He does it on purpose to sound like a baby, because he knows his mother loves it when he acts like a baby - the mummy's boy that he is! He also calls her "grandma" sometimes. He used to call her "old lady", as a joke, "hey, old lady" if he was addressing her, but she would get upset with him and he would cajole her until she saw his joke. If I did the same, she wouldn't talk to me for days!

I think my mother and brother are very similar in their characteristics, which really stands to reason, since she raised him and taught him everything he knows.

• Neither of them are good communicators - they cannot express how they feel about anything, ever
• They get angry if they cannot get their way
• They blame everyone else for all of their problems - nothing is ever their fault
• They both live in their fantasy delusions which are not based in reality
• They both lie to everyone about everything (except maybe each other, but not sure about that)
• They are both very uneducated and illiterate and don't like to read anything beyond magazines, if that
• They are both very stubborn and refuse to see any other point of view but their own
• They both behave very charmingly, nicely and quietly in front of most other people to create the illusion that they are lovely, warm human beings to other people, when that is so far from the truth

LayZ boy learnt rage and volatility in emotions from his father, his step-father and his mother.