Feling like crap yet again today

My bronchitis is worse today as are my menstrual cramps, so I feel like crap again! It's hard to breathe without coughing that dry, almost asthmatic cough and my body feels just so lethargic and my mind isn't functioning that well either. A few hours of feeling good last night and then I feel like crap again today.

Earlier today my mother told me that my maternal grandmother is in hospital after suffering a mild heart attack on the weekend. My grandmother has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high blood triglycerides and about two years ago had a blood clot on one of her organs and had to be treated in hospital with blood thinners until she got better. My grandmother is in her 80's and has been taking medicines for something or other ever since I have known her.  Apparently she wasn't feeling well on the weekend, her chest was hurting her, but she didn't do anything about it because, knowing her, she didn't want to acknowledge it and also didn't want to bother anyone. My aunt, her other daughter lives right next door to her with her husband, his mother and their son (my first cousin), so my grandmother has support close by.

My mother then proceeded to tell me she is taking my brother with her to see his grandmother in hospital and then as an afterthought, because it was after she told me how she found it about my grandmother, what happened to her, how she was, she then asked me if I wanted to come with them (very half-heartedly), knowing full well what my answer would be. A big, emphatic no! She didn't want me with her, she wanted my brother with her, which is how she likes it, because he's just as mental and deluded as she is and that's why they get along. I told my mother to call me when she was at the hospital with grandma so I could speak to her and of course she said she would do it, but of course she wont.

Just after that, I went to the kitchen to make some tea, to try to soothe my lungs and coughing a bit and she was making cafe latte. She only turned the exhaust fan on just before I came into the room, even though the coffee had already been boiling and when I asked her why she didn't turn the fan on earlier, she of course told me she did, even though I heard it being turned on just before I came into the room. Then she got angry with me, as usual. It's my fault for asking her to be honest with me. It's my fault for asking her to respect me. The thing with the hot milk that she boils is that it makes me feel really sick. I cant handle the smell at all. The smell of hot milk, combined with coffee makes me dry retch - my body just reacts that way to it and just about always has. I am lactose intolerant, so if I am around any butter, milk, cream or sour cream that are being heated up, they all make me feel that way - really nauseous, like I am about to projectile vomit. My mother of course, thinks that if it doesn't affect her, then there is no reason why it should affect me either, not realising that we are not the same person and that she is not lactose intolerant and can eat anything. That thoughtlessness and dismissiveness of hers towards me is really irritating.

In amongst this, Lay-Z boy was having a shower and using all of his products, which are so cheap and nasty and full of strong, synthetic perfumes that make it hard for me to breathe. He's been given alternative products, but wont use them, he continues to use his own things and continues to buy replacements for his products when he runs out, when he's been told that they make it difficult for me to breathe properly, especially when he prances around the house, up and down the hallways and stays in the room where I am. Then if I leave, he goes to his room and puts more product on and stands in the hallway near my room, to try to get more of his perfumed products into my room and make me more sick.  God he is so sick!

I told my mother that it was very inconsiderate of them to not think about me when I cant breathe properly right now and his perfumed products make me worse. Her response: "I cant smell anything". Man, it is unbelievably frustrating to hear that. She is so dismissive of me and my illnesses. She cant seem to understand that we are not the same person and that I get asthma-type reactions to a number of chemicals and am allergic to everything, when she is not and neither is anyone else in the family. No amount of reason or sense seems to convince them to have a little bit of consideration and decency. None.

As I had to go to the shops to get some food, I just left without saying goodbye to any of them. There was no point as far as I was concerned. I had to go to the shops to replenish my food, as I had run out. I buy my own food and my mother buys food for the three of them - we don't shop for food together and don't cook together either. We are the fractured non-family.