Drained of all my energy

I am so drained of all my energy after that argument with the nutcases of my family today.  It is awful having to deal with this crap on a daily basis. Just totally awful. So unbearable.

The other day, my mother left the light on in the landing, near the front door, I of course am in my study reading/Internet, several rooms away from it (and my mother is the one who left it on) and my brother, LayZ boy comes past and  hits my door as I am closing it, ensuring that I cant close it, telling me, "why did you leave the light on you fucking bitch, waking me up?"

Of course I have no idea what he is talking about and tell him so. He then proceeds to tell me that it's my fault that he's still awake because the light is on in the landing and I am a "fucking loser" for leaving it on to keep him awake on purpose. I told him to get lost and that I had nothing to do with the light, that it was his mother who must have left it on because she went downstairs age ago. His response?  "Fuck off you loser".... 

Right, so it's my fault that someone else left a light on keeping him awake. Then it's my fault again for letting him know exactly who left the light on (not me).  Right.  Just makes so much sense for him to behave like that doesn't it?

And according to my mother I am the one who is sick?  Right, yeah right!  I just tell her the truth about her son and she just cannot accept how sick she and her son are and just how deluded she and her thinking is.  Deflecting her insane thinking and what she really thinks about herself and her son onto me.  Great!

If I tell my mother anything that her son has done to me in a violent and abusive way, her response is either: "I wasn't here so I cant believe you" or "he told me you wouldn't do xyz, that's why he hit you/lashed out at you/whatever".  Meanwhile I am begging her, crying out loud, telling her to believe me and to do something about him.  And nothing. She just keeps repeating the same stuff to me, negating any responsibility on his or her part and telling me that I am sick and I need help!  Jeez, not only do they pile shit on me, but they then tell me that I am to blame for it, that everything that happens to me is my fault and that I don't deserve anything.  Wow, how messed up do you think they are??

My God these people are so not normal. They are just not normal. And I have been living with them my whole life.  They are sick, sick, sick.  You cannot even begin to comprehend just how sick they are.

I am just drained of energy having to deal with them and fight for my rights as a person who should not have to put up with their abuse!  And to top it off, I am physically sick most days and have no energy as it is, this just makes me worse still and it means I cannot get my shit together enough to find a way out of here and onto a better (and more normal) life.

God!!!