Now all the neighbours will know about my family!

Well at least my outburst tonight achieved something positive - by telling my neighbour everything that I could tell him (before the police came) meant that I have started to expose my mother for the big hypocritical liar she is.

I told my neighbour about the fact that my mother took me to an exorcist twice when I was younger, because she thought I was possessed by the devil.  Apparently, according to my mother if I didn't drop whatever I was doing to wash the dishes I would get a beating.  That was normal according to her.  But according to me, that was vile and abusive and it made me run away all the time.  And according to my mother, that meant I was possessed by the devil.  She is sick in the head.

I also told my neighbour that how my family behaves in front of other people is not the way they behave to me and that it's just been abuse and violence all my life with them.

I also told my neighbour that my step-father still tries to beat me up, but that my mother gets in his way to stop it and then after that she comes to me and tells me it's all my fault that my step-father got angry and that before he goes all crazy, she inflames him.

I also told my neighbour how my brother assaulted me and that my mother betrayed me by lying to the police about it, basically giving my brother permission to continue behaving that way.

I also told my neighbour that my brother physically pushed me (as did my father) because they were angry with me and took out their anger on me and that my mother wont let my step-father say anything to my brother, wont let anyone say anything to him, because as far as she is concerned, my brother does nothing wrong, yet it's fine to bash one me.

I know my mother is totally pissed off with me for revealing all the "family secrets" - the truth about their abuse - to a neighbour who she knows well.  Good, let them know she is not the sweetness and light fake person she makes out she is and that my step-father is not the jovial, happy joker he make out he is and that my brother is not the quiet, shy person he make out he is in public.  Oh how the liars are being revealed now!

It's about time the neighbourhood knew the truth about my family!  It's time for people around them to know who they really are.

Violence and abuse again

While this title suggests that maybe this is the only time I have been subjected to my family's abuse since the last time I posted, it definitely isn't.  I am just highlighting today's events because I want to show how insane they are and how little I have in this family dynamic.

Earlier this evening I went out to the pergola to find the cat eating sausage meat (the insides).  My parents have skinned some sausages that they got in a pub draw and rather than wasting them, they want to give them to the cat.  What they don't seem to realise is that cats shouldn't be eating meat that is that fatty as their digestive system cant handle that much fat.  These sausages were over 50% fat.

The cat wasn't really eating the sausage, just kind of licking around it, as he didn't really like it (obviously), so I took him in my arms and was going to bring him inside to give him some proper meat (I have some organic beef I have bought for myself but I don't mind giving him some).

At this time, my step-father was also there and he ordered me to put the cat down and let him eat the food.  I told him I wouldn't that it wasn't any good for the cat to give him such high fat meat, as it was bad for his digestion and can make him sick.  My step-father told me I knew nothing, that I was an idiot and that they had been feeding him the sausage meat all week.  He again ordered me to put the cat down.  I told him if the cat actually liked the sausage, he would be scrambling out of my arms to get to the food (like he always does if he's given food he likes) and as he couldn't understand the cat didn't want the food and that it wasn't any good for him besides?  Of course not.

I tried to walk through the verandah, but my step-father pushed me out and locked the door so I couldn't come inside. Mind you, I was holding the cat so he couldn't assault me too much, just push me away on the side that I wasn't holding the cat.

I banged on the glass door for him to let me in, but he just kept on yelling at me.

Finally he unlocked the door and let me through the door and as I went through, he pushed/hit me on my back. I could have fallen.  I could have fallen on the cat and hurt it because he pushed me hard (I was still holding the cat, who was just sitting in my arms, purring like the good cat he is). What a bloody idiot my step-father is.  Just violent, aggressive and abusive.

My mother then comes through the hallway as she finally heard the noise to see what was happening.  She takes my step-father's (he has a right to hit or push me) and proceeds to tell me it is their cat and they can feed it whatever they want and that I know nothing about cats.

Always its negativity from them, always.  They just have no clue how to behave like normal people at all.

All this does is bring me down so much.  It's become a vicious circle. I feel down because of their negativity, abuse and intolerance, which in turn brings me down even further to the point where I have no energy or motivation and then that brings me even further down.  

Totally vicious circle...