Feeling dizzy and unwell again today

When I woke up today, I did so with great difficulty. I felt so exhausted and it felt very difficult to move my body. 

I had the alarm set for 9.45am, but when it went off, I changed it to go off at 10.45am instead and even though it went off every 20 minutes, I didn't get out of bed until about 1pm. So tired and feeling sick.

I found it very difficult to get to sleep last night. All of the nonsense with my brother upset me more than I realised and thinking about them all and the fact that I have absolutely no relationship with any of them upsets me a lot too. It's very difficult to live in the same house as people who are supposed to be your close family members, but instead who are totally unsupportive and unloving towards you.

Most of today I have been feeling hot and cold, have had the bronchial cough full on again and just feel really exhausted and lethargic. I just want to go to sleep. Earlier, when I was holding the cat in my arms and closed my eyes to rest them a little, I started to sway, like I was about to fall. My ears have been really hurting a lot since last night, so they are probably infected by a virus now too which is probably the reason why my lungs hurt again and causing me to cough. Ugh!

Because I feel so lethargic, I haven't really eaten much of anything today other than two cups of herbal tea (one peppermint, one rose hip), a row of organic dark chocolate and a packet of tangy chips. No wonder I am losing weight as that is not enough food!  I need to warm up the food I had yesterday to eat some proper food to provide me with some proper nutrition.

One good thing about today was that I got to speak to my grandmother to see how she is. My mother called her and I asked to speak to her after she finished talking to her. My grandmother is still in the hospital getting monitored by the doctors because she did have a heart attack, even though it was mild, it still did happen. I told her I was sorry I couldn't come but I have bronchitis and it wouldn't have been a good thing if I came to see her as I was sick. She told me that she could hear my voice sounded congested and not to worry, to take care of myself, she would be okay. I told her she needs to eat what they tell her as her diet is the basis of her ill health in regards to her heart disease. She listens but I don't think she takes much notice. She hears the same thing from my aunt and her husband (who also had a heart attack years ago), but as my uncle said, they cant monitor her eating every minute of the day, they can only do so much, she needs to take care of and responsibility for her own health.

Grandmother is sick and in hospital

My maternal grandmother had a mild heart attack on the weekend and she's in hospital now.  She lives about two hours drive from here, so my mother decided to visit her and decided to take her son, LayZ boy with her. Of course she knows I wont go, even if I was well, as I wouldn't spend that much time with that idiot because all he would do is say stupid obnoxious things to me the whole way there and back, but when we were in the company of our relatives there, he would be so quiet and shy, which would only infuriate me more! The idiot. My mother knew that, which is why she asked LayZ boy to come with her and only half-heartedly asked me if I wanted to come, knowing full well that I wouldn't. If it was just me and her, it would have been different.

Anyway, I wanted to write another post about my grandmother as the last one seemed to go too long about what happened today and I couldn't fit in the stuff about my grandmother there, so I created a new post for that reason.

My grandmother is an old woman, who is in her 80's. She lost her husband (her second husband, who is not my grandfather, her first husband was) about two years ago to renal failure. My grandmother lives in a small house by herself, but she lives right next door to her other daughter, my aunt, so she has company as my aunt lives with her husband, her husband's mother (who is 96 and still mobile) and their son (my first cousin). Their daughter is married and lives a few hours away with her husband and their kids.  While my grandmother is alone, she has people around her for company, not just her family, there are also neighbours in the street that she socialises with too.

When I came home from the shops I called my aunt's house and my uncle answered and told me that my grandmother was in "special care", not intensive care, so that was a good start, as it meant that she was not critical. He told me she had a mild heart attack and that they were taking care of her at the hospital. He had been there most of the night before (I think she must have been admitted yesterday some time) and today it was his wife, my aunt's turn to visit with her. He gave me the name of the hospital so that I could call her. I told him I didn't go because I have bronchitis and don't feel so well. He agreed that it was a good thing for me to stay away when I was sick as it wouldn't do to infect grandma with a virus while she's not well.

My grandmother has coronary artery disease and angina. The angina is due to the coronary artery disease, which means the arteries leading to her heart are clogged with cholesterol and plaque, which makes it difficult for the blood to be pumped to her heart properly. This is probably what lead to her heart attack - the heart was starved of blood and therefore oxygen. Lucky for her, the blockages are not too major, otherwise who knows what would have happened! Lucky she's on a whole range of medications for thinning her blood, reducing blood pressure, reducing fats in her blood and reducing cholesterol, so she didn't have a worse reaction.

I decided to call after I had dinner, as I didn't eat much during the day - I had had my tea and left the house. Dinner consisted of a large rissole, some avocado on rye/seed bread and grilled tomato. I need the meat for the iron.  After dinner I sat down to watch television and rest, as I still didn't feel well and didn't manage to call my grandmother. Neither did my mother call me. She must have been pissed off with me for telling her again that she was being inconsiderate. In fact, she got downright nasty, by telling me that she wasn't going to take my brother with me, that she was going to leave him here with me, just so he could antagonise me. Isn't she lovely? What a mother I have? A bitchy, nasty, vindictive mother who relishes in making me feel bad!

Anyway, not having either of them around has been brilliant. The only problem has been that I cant enjoy it as much, as I am sick and am also worried about my grandmother, which both suck as they are occurring at the same time. Oh well, at least LayZ boy is not here, which is the biggest boon of all.

I think I will have to get me to bed soon as I do not feel well at all.