Now that I have been working and am away from my family most of the day and with the counselling I have been getting and the reading I have been doing, I can see them with more objective eyes.
It's even more apparent that my mother and brother are mentally unwell.
While I am not a psychiatrist or even psychologist, I am quite smart and have been around them for a long time, so know my family and their behaviours really well, so I am in a good position to pinpoint their symptoms and try to work out what is wrong with them. Of course they would never concede to any diagnosis, but at least I will know.
The mother has OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) to a mild extent. She tends to check and re-check everything, even coming back home when she thinks she has left the door open. My mother also has bipolar disorder. She is so moody and can snap at you about anything.
The mother yells a lot, is very angry and upset one moment and the next, she's all happy and relaxed. Something can upset her one day and the next it doesn't. If she wants something from me, she's very manipulative. If I don't give her what she wants, she yells at me and tells me she wont give me xyz next time I ask.
The other day the cat came in with another cats' claw in his upper paw and I asked the mother to get it out while I held the cat (actually it was her suggestion). She couldn't get it out and the cat became very agitated and upset. Finally I calmed the cat and the mother told me to hold it down so she could try again (she was trying to pull out the other cat's talon with tweezers, but all she seemed to be pulling, was the cat's skin and upsetting him). I told her no, that we should just leave the cat for now, as her technique wasn't working and was only upsetting the cat. The mother didn't like that, told me that I just wanted everything my way and that I was so stubborn.
I took the cat to the family room, where he hid under the couch, because he was obviously upset and didn't want any put rough handling.
I had some cold chicken in the fridge, so I cut off a tiny bit and took it to him, putting my hand (with the chicken on it) under the couch to let him smell it and eat it. To try to cajole him out. He did eat it without swiping me. I went back to the kitchen to get some more meat, to try to use it to cajole the cat out from under the couch. The mother started yelling at me, telling me to stop putting meat under the couch (I wasn't doing that, the meat was on my hand and from there it went into the cat's mouth) and that what I was doing wouldn't work, that the cat wouldn't come out from the couch, that I was stupid and stubborn for doing it. So unnecessary and so wrong. The next thing I see, is the cat right next to me, waiting for the chicken I was going to feed him. He is a smart cat. The mother on the other hand, is such a bitch. She wants to force the cat to do what she wants and calls me stubborn for telling her to stop that and to let the cat come out of his own accord (or cajole him with food).
I just shake my head when I think about her and her comments. She always puts me down and says derogatory things about me, for no reason other than to make me feel bad. She just cannot stop putting me down. According to her, everything I do is totally wrong, I cant do anything right. Yet, that is not true. She just tries to make me feel that way with the mean and nasty things she says to me, so needlessly.
The mother tends to hide her nasty behaviours or be on her best behaviour when she is around other people she doesn't know well, or when she is around people she thinks she needs to impress. But, when she behaves as obnoxiously to people as she does to me (these are people she thinks she doesn't need to impress and doesn't care about), they do not like her one bit and tell me how sorry they feel for me that I have a mother like that. Yeah, don't I know it!
03 October 2010
Step-father is currently overseas
The step-father left on a plane the other day, to go overseas and see his brothers and sisters.
One good thing from that is I have one less person putting me down here.
But, unfortunately, it also means that LayZ boy has become even more obnoxious since the step-father left.
LayZ boy has started putting on music very loudly late at night or turns the sound on his television very loudly too, knowing full well that I am trying to sleep because I need to get up early for work. And, because his mother isn't home (she's out at the pub with her friends), he knows he can get away with it, because if I say anything to her, he'll just deny it and do it worse the next day.
If I say anything to him, it's only going to escalate the situation, upset me and wont make him stop, so I have been studiously ignoring him and because LayZ boy is such a child, he eventually turns down the music, while still quite loud, not as loud as before and I eventually fall asleep. If LayZ boy's step-father was home, he wouldn't be able to do this because his step-father goes to sleep even before I do and his step-father would yell at LayZ boy for having loud noises on.
The other thing that LayZ boy has been doing, is to stomp on the floor while he walks up and down the corridor, past my bedroom, just so I can hear him.
LayZ boy also turns on his alarm, to wake himself up early on a Saturday morning, just so he can start yelling really loudly, in order to wake me up from my sleep.
Additionally, the other night, around midnight, LayZ boy was talking very loudly on his phone to one of his friends and his mother said not a word to him about the noise he was making. If it was me on the other hand, she would be yelling profusely at me for making any noise above a whisper.
I just ignore the lunatic LayZ boy, because I know that he's doing it to get a reaction from me and I will not give him that satisfaction. As far as I am concerned, LayZ boy does not exist and has nothing to do with me or my life.
Yes unfair and hypocritical, but I don't expect anything else from the lunatics.
One good thing from that is I have one less person putting me down here.
But, unfortunately, it also means that LayZ boy has become even more obnoxious since the step-father left.
LayZ boy has started putting on music very loudly late at night or turns the sound on his television very loudly too, knowing full well that I am trying to sleep because I need to get up early for work. And, because his mother isn't home (she's out at the pub with her friends), he knows he can get away with it, because if I say anything to her, he'll just deny it and do it worse the next day.
If I say anything to him, it's only going to escalate the situation, upset me and wont make him stop, so I have been studiously ignoring him and because LayZ boy is such a child, he eventually turns down the music, while still quite loud, not as loud as before and I eventually fall asleep. If LayZ boy's step-father was home, he wouldn't be able to do this because his step-father goes to sleep even before I do and his step-father would yell at LayZ boy for having loud noises on.
The other thing that LayZ boy has been doing, is to stomp on the floor while he walks up and down the corridor, past my bedroom, just so I can hear him.
LayZ boy also turns on his alarm, to wake himself up early on a Saturday morning, just so he can start yelling really loudly, in order to wake me up from my sleep.
Additionally, the other night, around midnight, LayZ boy was talking very loudly on his phone to one of his friends and his mother said not a word to him about the noise he was making. If it was me on the other hand, she would be yelling profusely at me for making any noise above a whisper.
I just ignore the lunatic LayZ boy, because I know that he's doing it to get a reaction from me and I will not give him that satisfaction. As far as I am concerned, LayZ boy does not exist and has nothing to do with me or my life.
Yes unfair and hypocritical, but I don't expect anything else from the lunatics.
Havent posted anything in a while
I haven't posted anything in over two months and that's because I have been busy working.
The job has been a good thing for my mental health, as it has meant that I spend most of my day away from the lunatic nutcases that live here and instead spend the day with relatively normal people who are not mentally unstable like my family.
The other really good thing about this job is that is has given me back my self-confidence and my sense of self-worth again and that is also a very good thing.
The other good thing about this job is that I don't have to listen to lunatic nutcases say derogatory and mean things to me every day. I actually get praise for my work, because it is good.
The job I have taken has been very intense, very pressured, with very tight deadlines.
One thing I can say, is that I am totally not bored in this job, as it's very challenging and that's a good thing.
I am doing web development.
The job has been a good thing for my mental health, as it has meant that I spend most of my day away from the lunatic nutcases that live here and instead spend the day with relatively normal people who are not mentally unstable like my family.
The other really good thing about this job is that is has given me back my self-confidence and my sense of self-worth again and that is also a very good thing.
The other good thing about this job is that I don't have to listen to lunatic nutcases say derogatory and mean things to me every day. I actually get praise for my work, because it is good.
The job I have taken has been very intense, very pressured, with very tight deadlines.
One thing I can say, is that I am totally not bored in this job, as it's very challenging and that's a good thing.
I am doing web development.
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