I also told her that as far as I am concerned I have no family and that there is no reason to buy presents for people who mean nothing to me. I know it's harsh, but they hurt me all the time and her enabling of the LayZ boy brother is really awful that I don't know how else to show her that she is doing the wrong thing. But you know, my mother is so disconnected from her feelings that when I tell her this, her response is, "That's okay." She cant get in touch with her feelings enough to tell me that she is sorry or that she feels bad, because she's an abusive person.
One of the reasons I feel so bad about their disloyalty is that my mother goes to LayZ boy's room when she gets home and has a good old chat with him about his day. She also has a good bitch to him about me and he inflames her even more by saying really vulgar things about me and she doesn't even reprimand him or tell him to stop, she allows him to continue and joins him in the bitching. I know this, because when they think I am sleeping, I have listened to their conversation. It's really awful to know your own mother bitches about you constantly behind your back to all and sundry. It's not just with my brother that she has a good bitch, she also bitches to all her friends, her family and anyone else she knows. Just to "get it off her chest". There is nothing to get off her chest - it's all of her own making, twisting facts to make it appear that she is the victim and that I am the villain. My idiotic brother LayZ boy does the same.
My mother and brother both lie so much to everyone, but especially to me. And the thing is, because I take people at such face value and because I didn't realise how much of a liar my mother was, I always believed her, but now I realise how much she has lied to me over the years, it just makes me so sick. It's disgusting. They're such liars that there is no way I believe anything they say any more. My mother will lie to me about where the cat is (she's say she doesn't know when she does), for example and laugh at me when I go outside looking for him, calling his name. She seems to think its funny to torture me that way. That is just a minor example of her lies. Another example: I asked her if LayZ boy paid her a certain amount of money, which she expected me to pay too and she told me that he had. I ask her again and she again told me he paid it and that I have to pay the same. Normally I would have believed her, but now I have accepted how dishonest she really is, I don't believe her, so I ask her to swear to God, as she will wont lie (she is religious) if she swears to God. With this example, she refused to swear to God. She then told me she wasn't sure about what LayZ boy paid and she'd have to find out. She came back a few minutes later, a bit shamefaced and told me that LayZ boy didn't actually pay what she first told me, that he only paid 1/4 of it. I asked her why did she have to lie in the first place and she got all defensive and started yelling at me, because she wouldn't face the truth - that she lied to me to manipulate me into giving her more money than I needed to. These two are just two examples of so many instances of her lies and manipulations!
My brother on the other hand, lies as much as he breathes. He will never be honest if he can help it. He tried to lie about not having my email address - even though I sent him an email, which means obviously he had my email address. His response to this? "But I didn't have your email address on me. So what if you sent me an email. That doesn't mean I had your email address." Right. No-one was questioning him about having my email address on his person, but rather me saying that I sent him an email, therefore he had my email address and him just refuting it and using more lies to cover up his first lie.
It's so unbelievable frustrating dealing with people like this. And because all I have ever been around is their negative influence, it stands to reason why I have only been attracted to and attracted people who were similar because that is what feels familiar to me and even though it's a destructive pattern, it's the only one I know. It really makes so much sense now!
