Mocking me and dismissing me

All this family does is to mock me, abuse me and dismiss me.

They have not changed since I was a child and having LayZ boy living here, it brings the old dynamics to the fore ever more. He is mentally unwell. Anyone that hears how he really behaves and what he really says to me say the same thing: "LayZ boy is sick in the head, he is violent and abusive and not a normal person." LayZ boy is a coward who would never behave the way he does to me in front of his parents, in front of anyone else. It's only because his parents allow him to get away with his shitty behaviour that he continues to do it - they give him a free pass because they don't do anything to stop him. He calls me names, he tells me to "fuck off" and says derogatory things about me in front of his parents and they say nothing to him. And if I start yelling at him to stop, I get yelled at and told off and they start to come near me to try to hit me, or throw my things around the place. It's absolutely ridiculous! And on and on I suffer.

Then my step-father continues to mock me at every chance he can get. Everything I say or do is an opportunity for him to mock me and laugh at me. I can ignore him, but he continues to do it, like a rabid animal. And if I tell him to stop it, to stop saying it, he starts getting abusive and wants to hit me. He gets all indignant, like how dare I tell him to stop talking, who the hell am I to tell him to stop talking, that he can do whatever the hell he wants. Sick, sick, sick.

And my mother, well she just leaves the house, totally ignores the situation and pretends it's not happening. But not before telling me off, telling me that its "all in my head" and that I am "mentally unwell" - totally dismissing my health because as far as she is concerned, there is nothing wrong with me. Right, so projecting her son's insanity and her delusions and her husband's volatility onto me because I am standing up for my rights! Oh that's right, I forgot, I don't have any rights in this house (according to them) and they are allowed to control me (again, according to them). Yeah, right, how terrible of me to forget the rules of the mental house and to want to have a peaceful, normal existence! That's just too much for these mentally unwell people to handle.

I am thinking about posting the videos of the other night, when they were abusing me, so that other people can see how awfully abusive they are.

My parents created a monster in LayZ boy

The delusions that my mother has about her son - that he has any goodness at all - are so far removed from reality and that just means he will continue to befuddle and manipulate her, make her think that he does nothing wrong. And that will ultimately be all three of their downfall.

Every time I tell my mother what he does to me - hitting me, pushing me, calling me names, blowing cigarette smoke on my clothes on the clothes line, going out for a cigarette when he knows I am outside, just so he can blow smoke at me - she refuses to see that he is doing anything wrong. She keeps telling me, "he never does any of this in front of me". By saying that, she gives him carte blanche to keep behaving that way. She wants to avoid it, she doesn't want to know and so by pretending its not happening, she enables it to continue happening. She wont acknowledge that her son is a vicious, manipulative asshole who takes pleasure in hurting his sister, because that means facing reality and my mother will do anything to avoid facing reality. What an idiot! And because of her idiocy, I get caught in the crossfire, her enabling him and being so delusional about him means that he can carry on behaving despicably in the full knowledge that there will be no consequences.

And even me telling my mother that her son LayZ boy was going through her personal papers in her drawers did nothing. When she came home, he denied it and then they had a nice little chat about what they would have for dinner! He tells her he didn't go through her drawers, that I was lying as usual (even though its him that lies and not me) and she believes him over me. How sick is that?

But, conversely, my mother doesn't stop yelling at me. She goes into my bag (which is in my bedroom) without my knowledge or permission, rifles through to find the car keys and bedroom door key and takes them. That's okay for her to do, so I guess its okay for him to do the same to her. I guess she will find out when he takes something of value and she cant deny it, or pretend he didn't do it.

LayZ boy learnt to be a volatile bully to people he perceives that are weaker than him, just like his step-father, yet he is scared of anyone who is bigger (and stronger) than him.

They all abuse and dump on me because they can. My mother allows it. She is the head of this family and she allows it.

These people make me sick!

When I leave here, things will unfold rapidly when their idiotic son starts gambling heavily again. He has already started gambling. This means he will get desperate for money because he will lose, like he invariably does and that will mean he will start stealing money from them like he used to from his wife when he was living with her. My mother will continue to stay in denial, pretending that nothing is going on, meanwhile, LayZ boy will continue to steal from them and get further into debt while he gambles even more.

LayZ boy, just like his mother, has an addictive personality - he is addicted to cigarettes, he is addicted to sugar, he is addicted to coca cola, he is addicted to gambling - and this marriage break-up will all bring it out. Once LayZ boy really starts to realise that his ex-wife is going to divorce him and take everything from him, he will get more desperate and start gambling really bad. He'll probably get my parents into debt and they may even lose their house.  Let them. If they are that stupid to trust a totally untrustworthy, deceitful piece of shit, then they should all get what they deserve!

Some more of my mothers delusions

On two occasions recently my mother has suggested I take my brother for a drive somewhere and have a nice chat with him. She said it would be nice if we, brother and sister could spend some quality time together like that.

Each time she said it, I just looked at her in complete amazement that her delusions would make her say something as insane as that.It's unfathomable to me that she is so deep in her delusions that she cant seem to understand that ours is not a "happy family" and that it never has been and that something like that will not work.

The idiot brother of mine, when he sees me, either tells me "fuck off" or "you fucking loser" or he sticks up his finger to me and gives me "the bird", with his middle finger. And if I try to talk to him, he tells me to "get lost". That is the person I am supposed to talk to to try to ask him to come with my anywhere?  She is kidding!

Even when I have tried to be nice him in the recent past, by asking him if he wanted food or telling him I closed up the chicken pen, he just grunts at me from his closed bedroom door, but only after I knock many times because at first he does not even deign to respond. Oh yes, he is such a normal person and the "suggestion" my mother made is so feasible and sensible. Totally not!

I told my mother that first of all he wears strong perfume and I cant tolerate it in the house where doors are open, nevertheless in an enclosed space like the car, which will just make it hard for me to breathe and secondly, he is an obnoxious asshole who takes great pleasure in antagonising, hurting and insulting me every chance he can get. I then told her I didn't know what planet she was living on, but it wasn't planet reality. Each time I then walked out of the room where she decided to accost me with this "suggestion".

I just kept shaking my head at this major delusion of hers. She will not see the reality and that is the issue here. She is responsible for keeping him behaving the way he behaves because she does not set up any boundaries (never has) for him, she does not apply any consequences to his actions and she allows him to get away with basically anything he does. Then she lays the blame all on me for everything, she continues to defend him and that just makes him behave even worse because he knows he can get away with anything as she will protect him. I am in such an unenviable position here.

How dare she lay all the responsibility on me. How dare she try to make it all about me. How dare she try to make it look like if I just took him aside, that is all it would take to make him behave normally and of course that puts all the blame and onus on me!  She is some piece of work that mother of mine! And I refuse to buy into her mad delusions any more.